Spend enough time on 4chan's notorious /b/ message board and you'll come across child porn that slipped past overwhelmed moderators. One Navy sailor downloaded some kiddie porn he found on 4chan; now he's the subject of a federal investigation.

[Barack Obama looked practically on the verge of tears today at a White House press conference. But that's what happens when your House gets taken away from you. Images via Getty. Click to expand.]

Today Justin Bieber came out and surprised Ellen during her introduction and began dancing around the set only to be interrupted by local news discussing the election resulting in countless thirteen year-olds vowing to never vote.

It's admirable that Google is so reluctant to censor content on YouTube. But now that the company has yanked videos from an extreme American-born Muslim cleric currently in hiding, it's worth asking why the company finally caved to critics.

Watch the man who'll play The Green Lantern sing the theme song to The A-Team alongside Elmo and company — all while he's dressed as a gigantic letter A. So simple, yet kind of brilliant ...in a Sesame Street way.

Today we were a little down about, y'know, all that election stuff. And so was Still-President Obama, who gave a too-humble speech about it. But screw that! It's time for tough talk. Luckily one commenter gave the President a script.

And now, your daily look into the twitterific lives of our favorite celebs!

The Talk became briefly relevant today when Kathy Griffin used part of her interview to bitch about Elisabeth Hasselbeck. It's probably worth noting that this is the first time The Talk has attacked a panelist from The View. Shots fired!

South Carolina Democratic mystery candidate Alvin Greene, despite not really campaigning, fundraising, hiring a staff, or explaining who he is, still got 360,000 votes for Senate last night. How does this compare with candidates nationwide who gave a shit?

Scientists mapped notoriously drug-addled rocker Ozzy Osbourne's DNA and found genetic mutations they've "never seen before." Most of them are related to his tolerance for drugs and alcohol. There is still no scientific explanation for how he tolerates wife Sharon.

Watch this awesome remake of "The Ghost Inside" using footage from the old Hall and Oates music video "Private Eyes." The tempo of the two songs is so similar its hard to tell that this isn't their original video.

Your election night prime time cable news ratings are in. Fox News: 6.96 million viewers. CNN: 2.42 million. MSNBC: 1.94 million. Compared to 2006, Fox is way up, MSNBC's steady, and CNN's down. You get what you deserve, America. [NYT]

Baby-making teen role model Bristol Palin was too busy shimmying to vote: "I did not send in my absentee ballots to Alaska. I'm going to be in trouble. Sorry, mom!"

Regarding the other ballot measure you were all wondering about: voters in the 3rd Berkshire District in Pittsfield, Massachusetts rejected a proposal to allow women to walk around topless in public. Their reasoning, though, was odd.

These guys decided to build an enormous slide, and this is evidence of their ultimate success. Given the guy shown in an arm sling, though, we wonder how many failed attempts there were, and where's the video documentation of it?

It might not surprise you to hear that prep school rivalry pranks are funny among the entrenched Washington classes. And last night, Republicans finally got revenge over an 18-year-old Democratic prank, involving a donkey who now hates Nancy Pelosi.

We love talented animals, and this little dog really does have a gift. Watch him show off on a classic The Late Show with David Letterman. Someone give him a treat!

Facebook took time today to make a big announcement about iPhone coupons and new mobile sign-in partnerships. Then it quietly admitted it will take "months" to protect your Facebook account from being hijacked at Starbucks and other cafés. Great.

[Jake Gyllenhaal in Los Angeles. Photo via Splash]

The Way We Live Now: gridlocked. And loving it! The greatest thing about our nation's constant reversion to the political mean is that it allows our investing class to go about their business unimpeded. And their business is winning things!