Google technical writer Noirin Shirley wrote a post on her personal blog yesterday describing a debauched night at a tech conference. But she claims the fun ended when she was sexually assaulted by Twitter engineer Florian Leibert.

A 45-year-old woman named Patty Bigbee was arrested yesterday with her boyfriend after they tried to sell her baby grandson for $75,000. After some haggling the buyer, an undercover police informant, got Bigbee to agree to $30,000.

Sit at the bar, don't order rolls, and easy on the soy sauce. The art of eating sushi is constantly messed up, so "sushi concierge" Trevor Corson kindly shows us how to impress the chef.

[Indian micro-artist Ramesh Sah shows off his painted thumbnail today as President Obama visits India. Image via AP]

A California farmers market vendor has been busted for selling Mexican vegetables as his own, "locally grown" produce and L.A. locavores are pissed off at these "dishonest farmers." Do you know where your certified organic produce actually comes from? [LAT]

Seinfeld's favorite quick-talking lawyer is back, and here to represent you. Filming from his new office in Los Angeles, he'll help you sue whoever wronged you - no matter how small your grievance.

A small Polish town today has finished building what they claim is the largest Jesus statue in the world, even bigger than Rio's Christ the Redeemer. New Jesus is 167 feet tall, while Rio's stands at 125 feet. Pics inside!

A shadowy governmental organization known as Dairy Management works behind the scenes to force Americans to eat cheese. The New York Times' today reveals that Dairy Management has been partnering with various fast food companies to promote fattening, cheese-laden products.

The Pulitzer Prize-nominated National Enquirer says Rielle Hunter is now cheating on John Edwards. Hahaha.

This clip is from The Larry Sanders Show in 1998. Jon Stewart guests as Jeffrey Tambor's (aka "George Bluth Sr.") new boss, and uncomfortably explains and apologizes for his dog's uncontrollable pissing. Intense, low-voice ambiguous threats follow.

Ever wonder just how hot your balls get under your laptop? "Within 10 or 15 minutes their scrotal temperature is already above what we consider safe," says one doctor. Turns out that cooking your testicles is also bad for reproducing.

They each defined "nerd" to an entire century, and continue to remain marketable to this day, but in the world of syndicated animation which do you think had the stronger series?

MSNBC suspended Keith Olbermann because he donated to candidates' campaigns. Uh, so did Joe Scarborough. Alabama campaign finance records show he made a $5,000 donation to an Alabama state legislative candidate. Scarborough claims it was his wife's donation.

After a down year by their standards, Somali pirates are finally back in business: For the release of two tankers they were paid a record ransom of $12.3 million. "We are now counting our cash," one pirate gloated. [BBC]

Lil Wayne can't drink for three years—but what's in that glass next to him? Miley Cyrus was also caught drinking (sort of) illegally. Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are not getting engaged. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is a wrap.

Scientists from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration believe they have a "smoking gun" after finding dead coral 4,500 feet below the surface in the Gulf of Mexico, seven miles from the Deepwater Horizon rig site. What a coincidence.

Cigarette companies in Indonesia have a captive audience near Mount Merapi. Employees from Sampoerna, one of Indonesia's largest tobacco companies, are helping out volcano victims while also taking advantage of a great marketing opportunity: wearing logo-emblazoned gear and saving people!

Chilean miner Edison Pena—here to run the NYC Marathon—has been sightseeing, mugging for cameras, and enjoying himself in New York. But the Post says "Miner Is Whiner In Apple" after Pena said a street hot dog was "so-so."

Tonight, Bill Maher criticized last week's Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, saying, "If you're going to have a rally... you might as well make it about something," before detailing his specific problems with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's efforts.

Tonight, Christine O'Donnell gave her first post-loss interview to Bill O'Reilly. When asked by O'Reilly what her future plans included, O'Donnell was quick to mention that she's already got a book deal. But what about a reality show? Watch inside.