This week a surprisingly long list of celebrities—including that kid from Love Actually, that girl from that TV show, and Patricia Clarkson—narrowly escaped a contractual fate worse than death: a movie premiere infested with bed bugs.

“What happened to kids addressing adults by their last names?” asks mommyblogger Danielle Larkins in the Washington Elite Daily (formerly the Post) this morning. Danielle’s “not judging other parents,” she writes, but they’re doing a bad job and their kids are rude, entitled narcissists.

For years, there have been whispers that 9/11 didn’t happen the way we were told it did, and now the truth has claimed its first casualty: “comedian” Steve Rannazzisi’s sponsorship money.

A tiny group of Target employees in Brooklyn have pulled off what no Target employees ever have before: they’ve formed a union.

Thursday evening in New Hampshire, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump didn’t bother to correct an audience member who called President Obama a Muslim, The Washington Post reports.

Kate Middleton has bangs, you guys. And they’re all over the place. Royals, they’re just like us. Minus that £1,245 Ralph Lauren shirtdress.

On Tuesday, a Facebook user in Stockton, California uploaded a disturbing viral video showing a large group of police officers violently forcing a 16-year-old student to the ground. The teen’s alleged offense? Jaywalking.

24 students at a southwestern Virginia high school were suspended Thursday for wearing clothing displaying the Confederate flag in protest of school policy. Christiansburg High School banned the symbol after instances of “racially motivated behavior” (or “mysteriously and not at all purposefully unelaborated behavior”) back in 2001 and 2002, NBC reports.

According to Reuters, 11 people were killed and 1 million more were displaced by the 8.3-magnitude earthquake that shook Chile on Wednesday. “We lost it all. It was horrible,” said a woman whose town was destroyed by surging waters. “I jumped into some stranger’s pickup truck. We left with what we had on our backs.”

Citing unnamed officials, The Post and Courier reports that federal agents have arrested 21-year-old Joseph Meek, Jr., the South Carolina man who Dylann Roof briefly lived with before allegedly killing nine people at Charleston’s Emanuel AME Church in June.

A CCTV video that landed on LiveLeak earlier this week shows a small child deploying a stealthy poop in the middle of a supermarket aisle, allegedly somewhere in Russia. To watch the boy leave what the Mirror drolly calls “his nasty deposit”—it is to laugh. But wait: there’s even more to this multi-layered treasure, and all of the layers contain doo-doo:

Swords: Extremely cool. More swords: Even cooler. 3,174 swords: Uh, maybe scale it back a little, actually?

Here is a wonderful story about the power of America’s most maligned art form: rap music. According to the mother of a young Colorado boy, her son has been inspired to go out in the world without his prosthetic eye after years of embarrassment thanks to the success of the suddenly and immensely popular rapper Fetty Wap, pictured above, who himself lost an eye at a young age.

Everybody hates the guy on Amtrak who talks too loudly—I assume, because I’ve never ridden Amtrak, but it seems like something people complain about. But what if that guy is a close advisor of a potential presidential candidate and is spilling need-to-know-info all over the so-called “café car?”

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, who was paid $20 million last year, acknowledged today that “income inequality has kind of gotten worse” in the past 20 years, but said that inequality is mitigated by the fact that “20 years ago... People didn’t have iPhones.”

Can you quantify the power of familial love? For one Williamsburg family, yeah—cops have assessed it at approximately $1.5 million a year in heroin sales, totally tax-free.

Oh here is a good personal finance story for 20-something citizens: “If You Have Savings In Your 20s, You’re Doing Something Wrong.”

The Kardashian corporate umbrella of human brands just released a new suite of apps and websites, and it only took two seconds for someone to discover a glaring privacy hole. Also, Kim is way, way less popular than Kylie Jenner.

Port Authority cops stopped a fashion designer who pulled a U-turn outside the Holland Tunnel Tuesday, driving onto the sidewalk and narrowly missing five cars. When officers pulled them over, she told them she turned around because she didn’t want to go to New Jersey.