The Morning Joe gang (with bonus Mark Sanchez!) is bang up excited about Call of Duty. Except Mika, because the game "leaves her displeased." Hey gamers, you can now shoot Morning Joe from the safety of your mom's basement!

After teaching the same course year after year, professors must develop rage over pet peeves. Watch as this professor loses it while attempting to give a keynote after someone simply yawns too loudly.

As a part of the show's "viral week," the folks behind Autotune the News were interviewed and brought along a custom autotune just for Today. It features hilarious discourse between Matt Lauer, Kanye, and Bush singing "I love Conway" repeatedly.

And why are birthdays such polarizing affairs? Did Jessica Simpson buy her own engagement ring? Did Britney's insanity make her parents fall back in love? Tuesday gossip is a toddler who keeps asking, "Why?"

At The Benilde St. Margaret's School in Minnesota, the student newspaper wrote an editorial protesting the fact that their Catholic Archdiocese had sent out a DVD opposing gay marriage. What! Censor that, at once! That eloquent writing is anti-Catholic!

Marion Jones was on The Daily Show last night promoting her new autobiography. In a refreshing change of pace from most drug scandals, Jones was candid and forthright about her circumstances. Her startling honesty and insight is worth a watch.

After what seemed like hours of dire Wills and Kate engagement news on GMA, Tina Brown, author of The Diana Chronicles, strapped on her balls and finally said it: "Being a member of the royal family is a real slog."

Britain will pay millions to former Guantanamo Bay detainees who say British intelligence agencies helped torture them.

She was quite the (naked) surprise at his Vegas birthday party. This racist performer has quite the temper, as does this actor, who may have an abusive relationship with his costar. It could be worse—it could be incest!

Spanning four pool tables this trick shot has to be done right or else you're spending your time setting up again. It incorporates dominoes and ramps and probably involved a lot of tinkering to get the timing down right.

Gnomish billionaire Sam Zell has announced that he'll soon be leaving Tribune Co: "I will turn it over to whoever the creditors decide they want to run it, and wish them a lot of good luck." Thanks for nothing, jerk.

Like a pair of fine steeds, two humans of noble lineage and handsome hindquarters have come together for mating and merriment. Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton! The wedding is expected to be even bigger than Charles and Diana's.

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James Fowler, a 77 year-old white former state trooper in Alabama, has pleaded guilty and received six months in prison for the 1965 killing of Jimmie Lee Jackson—whose shooting death inspired the Selma-to-Montgomery civil rights marches. [Montgomery Advertiser]

Trying to keep your laptop clean means jumping through a lot of hoops. Remove this, unscrew this, lift this. Why does it have to be so complicated? Jayme Gutierrez made a neat video to let you know he understands.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

This false-color satellite image of the Mount Merapi volcano in Indonesia was taken yesterday by the ASTER instrument on NASA's Terra satellite. The dark gray area is the volcano's pyroclastic flow. [Image via AP]

Alternative rock god Billy Corgan is miffed that a recently-reunited Pavement is trying to steal his thunder at a show with the Smashing Pumpkins in Brazil, so he's reviving the most boring rock "beef" of all time on Twitter.

The time a drunken Groucho Marx ogled Jane Mansfield's "knockers" and ate lobster can be read about here.

A half-ton bull flew into the crowd at the Plaza de Toros bullfighting ring in Mexico City on Sunday, leaping over the barrier and landing on top of a picador. The bull returned to the ring and was promptly killed.