White Jogger to White Stroller-Pusher: People Like You Live in Brooklyn Because I "Settled" It

Taylor Berman · 09/23/15 10:10AM

In a video purportedly filmed earlier this week in downtown Brooklyn, a white jogger—who may or may not fight for a living and may or may not be able to kill you with one punch—can be seen screaming at a white man pushing a stroller: “The only reason white people like you live here is because I settled this fucking neighborhood for you!”

Science: If You Fidget You Don't Need a Stupid Standing Desk

Hamilton Nolan · 09/23/15 09:38AM

The person who sits next to you and fidgets all day—annoying, right? Well, guess what: you’re going to die long before them. You’ll be dead, dead, dead, your children in tears. They’ll still be alive.

The U.S. State Department Ignored a Letter From Joseph Kony

Andy Cush · 09/23/15 09:23AM

A former U.S. Marine with extensive ties in Uganda says he made contact with brutal African warlord and international fugitive Joseph Kony this month, but was ignored by the U.S. State Department when he forwarded a letter Kony wrote expressing interest in a “peace process” with the U.S.

Jason Parham · 09/23/15 09:13AM

Los Angeles is set to declare a “state of emergency” and commit $100 million to help end its homelessness crisis, which has ballooned out of control. It is not exactly clear, however, where the money will come from. According to the LA Times, the budget “only recently began to recover from revenue shortfalls.”

Pharmaceutical Price Gouger Lasted Two Whole Days Before Backing Down On Pill Price

Gabrielle Bluestone · 09/23/15 08:05AM

Martin Shkreli, the 32-year-old Turing Pharmaceutical CEO who this week jacked up the price on a life-saving drug by an astounding 5,000 percent, apparently doesn’t have the stomach for his own racket: he announced Tuesday night he’ll decrease the price of the drug in the face of intense public scrutiny.

Britney Spears Tells a Bodyguard That She's Britney, Bitch on Neil Patrick Harris' New Show

Christina Lee · 09/22/15 11:15PM

Neil Patrick Harris subjects his celebrity pals to some elaborate pranks on his new NBC variety show Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris. Last week’s season premiere had him auditioning for The Voice in disguise, to Pharrell’s unamusement. This week he roped in Britney Spears to punk three bodyguards who think they are auditioning for her Piece of Me Vegas residency.

Selfies Are Deadlier Than Sharks 

Sophie Saint Thomas · 09/22/15 11:00PM

Bad news for the narcissistic. Not only are we embarrassing ourselves with our selfies, but we appear to be killing ourselves as well. So far this year, there have been 12 reported deaths while attempting to take a selfie, compared to only eight from shark attacks, UPROXX reports.

FBI: Man Wanted for Embezzling $8.7 Million Hid in the Appalachian Trail for Six Years

Sophie Saint Thomas · 09/22/15 10:45PM

The Appalachian Trail seems like America’s Bermuda Triangle. It’s where horny politicians conveniently go missing. It’s the 2,200 miles of wilderness my boyfriends decide to go when things start to get serious. And for a Kentucky man who left his family and wanted to avoid a near $9 million embezzlement case, it’s a great place to relax for six years, New York Daily News reports.

Cara Delevingne Wishes She Could Pour Molten Cheese on the Paparazzi

Christina Lee · 09/22/15 10:15PM

Cara Delevingne recognizes that as a runway star-turned-Hollywood actress, she cannot avoid the paparazzi. Still, before she joined Kate Moss in Milan to promote their joint Mango campaign today, she wanted to make her feelings known: Cara cannot deal with these cameramen invading her privacy, i.e. making her feel “like a zoo animal,” anymore.

Paleontologist Calls New Dino A "Fat Pony" 

Sophie Saint Thomas · 09/22/15 08:30PM

Some humans spend a lifetime waiting to be discovered. Dinosaurs spend millions of years waiting to be discovered, like “Eva,” the dino recently pieced together by a team of Colorado-based paleontologists, CNN reports.

Legendary Tech Investor Stumped By Names of New "Diverse" Colleagues

Sam Biddle · 09/22/15 05:01PM

The miserable lack of diversity in Silicon Valley is so exhaustively documented by now that we’ve nearly run out of ways to point it out. It’s most conspicuous at the top echelons, where the money is invested and recouped—and longtime VC John Doerr just made the problem glaringly obvious.