Democracy is like a pungent onion for weepy Republican Speaker-of-the-House-to-be (ugh) John Boehner. Remember that time he broke down about the health care bill? Nancy Pelosi thinks John Boehner is an immature crybaby.

Out of all the people whose shows we thought Larry King might breakdown on we never thought it would be on Wendy Williams' show. Also he's really into having a young wife and making kids without Viagra.

[Ke$ha, the pop star that drizzled out of Lady Gaga's jock strap, was styled to resemble an early '90s fad trinket at last night's Us Weekly Hot Hollywood party. More fascinating Ke$ha pictures after the jump.]

We learned last week that international Jew George Soros had infiltrated Sarah Palin's inner circle by hiring her adviser Randy Scheunemann. But the old man's tentacles are long: Not even Palin's Alaska running mate is clean of Soros' foul fingerprints.

Today at Gawker.TV, Jesse Eisenberg is a major geek with cats, The League coins the term "vinegar sauce", Community's violent mystery episode, Tony Danza berates the local news, and Craig Ferguson and Jeff Goldblum compare penises.

Congratulations to Lazarou for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Two more recruits to The Daily News Corp's iPad news project: Hunter Walker (formerly of The Wrap) to the gossip beat; and, we hear, former sextacular NY Post-ie and current UrbanDaddy editor Justin Rocket Silverman. Woo.

Yay for Andrew Jenks, whose press tour has introduced me to Dylan Ratigan and caused me to watch Parker Spitzer. Look at this hot mess including a nut up from Dennis Rodman when Spitzer asks him to thank the government.

Sure she did that Temple Grandin thing, but that was a TV movie. This is a TV series. Also today: Leonardo DiCaprio goes back in time again, Kelsey Grammer returns to the cable waves, and Dane Cook breaks our heart.

Government counter-terrorism officials gamed out a very likely terrorist scenario in a Northern California drill this week: That of marijuana growers setting off bombs, taking hostages, and laying siege to a strategically critical dam. We are so prepared for this!

Jim Carrey remains single, and during his appearance last night on The Late Show, came clean about his rampant hooker use. Although, the term "hookers" is used not in the way you've probably already assumed. Video inside.

On today's The View, the ladies minus Barbara Walters talked about their must-haves in a man. Traits included fidelity, religious beliefs, sense of humor, and, curiously for Joy, not working out.

Last night's episode of Community provided a mystery for Jeff and Annie to figure out: Jeff lies about a 1-credit course and a man with a "Professor Professorson" ID comes to the rescue. Kinda. Brace yourselves for guns a 'blazin!

Author Robert Randolph has been talking to the tabloids about John Travolta's habit of hooking up with men at Los Angeles saunas. Most media outlets, however, were too shy to delve into the steamy details. We're not quite as timid.

The craze over Four Loko may soon come to an end—if a planned FDA ban on all caffeinated alcoholic beverages goes into effect—and Taiwan's NMA TV has reenacted the saga with one of its signature animations. Watch inside.

Blogging startup Tumblr, home to hipster kittens and John Mayer, is worth $135 million.

A federal judge ordered that Wesley Snipes surrender himself and serve his three-year prison sentence. He was convicted in 2008 for not filing taxes. Hopefully he'll go willingly. The star of U.S. Marshals must know all the escape tricks!

No Darvon! Airport smoking! Lou Gehrig's disease! Gym grunting! Flu shots! Racewalking! Nigerian curses! And mental illness is a call to arms! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while hallucinating and self-medicating in a nonstop cycle!

A TMZ paparazzo followed Tyra Banks on her way to dinner - She asked if he had ever appeared on TMZ, then took his camera and began yelling "how does it feel?!" at him. The results are surprisingly sweet.

MSNBC, just to put itself on the record as "consistent," has suspended Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough for the same reason it suspended Keith Olbermann: Political donations without advance approval. Interestingly, Politico, where Scarborough writes a column, instigated the suspension.