George Lopez and Nicki Minaj were all about the boobs and the booty last night on Lopez Tonight. But really George was just looking out for Nicki to protect her ass from the likes of Regis and Rihanna.

The results are in: on a respected international standardized test, students in Shanghai beat the tar out of everyone in science, reading and math. The U.S. finished 23rd, 17th, and 32nd, respectively. Yea, well...Yao Ming is slow. [NYT]

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Ian Somerhalder was telling a story and happened to mention the hotel he lives in while in LA. Kimmel responded, "is it good to give out your address on television? Thank goodness for censors.

Last week, Tracy Morgan stopped by Late Night for a chat with Jimmy Fallon. During the interview, Morgan went on a hilarious tangent about Star Wars—specifically, the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back. His attempted explanation/reenactment is inside.

Last night on Late Late Night with Craig Ferguson, Katie Couric confessed that she had gone on a blind date with Bob Saget. Katie said there was no "magic." She did have some (sort of) kind words for Bob.

Most animals are cute. Further, most baby animals are cute—even cuter than their adult counterparts, one could argue. The exception to this rule? Baby parrots. Because baby parrots—especially baby parrots in bowls—are not cute; they're scary. Really scary.

Barack Obama is giving a press conference right now defending his tax deal and taking questions. Write mean things here!

Former House speaker and entrenched Washington grifter Newt Gingrich took to Twitter today to honor those who perished at Pearl Harbor, 69 years ago. His elegiac remembrance: Speaking of Pearl Harbor, anyone wanna buy my crappy beach novels about it?

In your undeserved Tuesday media column: Luke Russert speaks unconvincingly, sports columnists issue predictions unwisely, NYT ad revenue descends gently, and a PR guy threatens a journalist. Jokingly!

[Charlize Theron leaving a restaurant on the Upper East Side yesterday. Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

That's all, folks! The Roloff family bid adieu to their reality show in a terribly depressing episode. The twins want to move out, they're selling the farm, and Mom and Pop Roloff are contemplating divorce. Who needs a happy ending?

The State Department just announced that Washington, D.C., will host the United Nations' 2011 World Press Freedom Day celebration, which honors the capacity for states to criminally prosecute and relentlessly seek to silence web sites that publish illegal information.

Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone that you once found completely repulsive? How I Met Your Mother can explain—it's called "The Mermaid Theory." Inside, Barney explains the history and Marshall narrowly avoids the issue with Robin.

Santa Claus was reported to be "devastated" after he was fired by San Francisco Macy's, where he'd been well regarded for more than 20 Christmases. Apparently Santa, who in everyday life disguises himself as "John Toomey," told a naughty joke.

How many actresses played Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Do you know how many seasons of The Wire there were, and what city it took place in? If you think you know the answers, or at least recognize these questions-you belong at Gawker.TV's Monthly TV Trivia Night!

The American Country Awards were on last night so that means Jeff Dunham got to showcase his vaguely racist ventriloquism. His first joke with his puppet, Bubba-J was "This is the best Soul Train Awards ever!" Ugh. Just, ugh.

And now, for your Tuesday edition of "BAWWWWW!" there's this: William, a cat who is nearly too cute for words, tries for a good 45 seconds to fit inside his owner's Nalgene water bottle in the most adorable fail ever.

You know it's a good story when it begins with a narcotics task force called "Operation: Ivy League." After months undercover with kids who are reading the Iliad, the NYPD busted five alleged frat boy drug dealers at Columbia University.

The beefy founder of the gym chain that bears his name, David Barton is also newly single, according to the Post. More »

On the Today Show, Angelina debriefs on working with Johnny Depp in their film The Tourist. Celeb Factoid: Jolie and Depp are Geminis, a.k.a Twins, known for being crazy, playful, and double the fun when they team up!