On Conan, Chris Elliot came on and immediately started talking about the late-night battle. He eventually said "I think Jay Leno screwed you!" Then Chris shits on Jay Leno more by sarcastically calling him a 'saint'.
Tonight's finale was an emotional one. While Paula Abdul no longer has access to her tear ducts, she dry-cried through a heartwarming speech before the winners were announced. Watch to find out who is the "Best Dance Act in America."
Imagine having surgery to remove kidney stones without pain medication? That's what happened to a man in Minnesota last November after a nurse, Sarah May Casareto, shot herself up with the dose of fentanyl meant for him. According to the police report obtained by the Star Tribune, Casareto told the patient pror to surgery, "You're gonna have to man up here and take some of the pain because we can't give you a lot of medication."
Iran's grandmaster of chess, 28-year-old Ehsan Ghaem Maghami, claims to have broken the Guinness world record for simultaneous games yesterday in Tehran, according to AFP. Maghami faced 614 opponents in just over 25 hours — winning 590, or 96 percent of the games. He also paced around the tables for a total of 34 miles.
Single on Valentine's Day? Instead of complaining loudly and publicly or going to some kind of stupid themed singles event, you should take a trip to Malaysia or Russia, where religious authorities are attempting to crack down on the decadent Western celebration of couples being gross with each other.
"In some ways," the threat of terrorism is "at its most heightened state" since 9/11, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told the House Homeland Security Committee on Wednesday. Certainly, the threat of magazine-publishing is at a very heightened state—perhaps its most heightened state—as National Counterterrorism Center Michael E. Leiter testified regarding the "spiffy" magazine from al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, Inspire. ("It's got great graphics," he told committee members, which is more than we can say for the Tea Party Review.)
Guess who's getting their own internet? Robots! Robots are getting their own, robot-only internet, thanks to scientists who, according to the BBC, "hope it will allow robots to come into service... armed with a growing library of knowledge about their human masters." Why, hmm, yes, "armed," indeed.
National Journal's Mark Ambinder reports that President Obama's budget proposal—which hits the streets Monday—would cut federal heating assistance to the poor in half for the 2012 fiscal year. I know! Tragic! That's only $2.5 billion in cuts! We'll never teach our citizens about budget discipline at this rate! Luckily, there is an alternative: The Republican spending plan, unveiled on Wednesday, which would "practically eliminate the program's contingency fund" immediately. Hear, hear! I don't understand why anyone lives in Massachusetts in the first place. [National Journal; image via AP]
By Leah Beckmann — Tonight's foray into the self-esteem building activity that is pageantry, revealed that there is indeed truth behind an adage as old as the great Redwoods: fart jokes are funny!
Click to viewThe New York Times has a cool video taken inside Cairo's "Facebook Flat," where a group of dedicated young Egyptian activists hang out, update their Facebook pages and help organize the Egyptian uprising. It sort of looks like the apartment in which we are typing these very words, which makes us feel very inadequate about ourselves. Guess it's time to go "like" some pages about fighting animal abuse or something.
