In true Onion style, this report mocks the super alarmist attitudes many of us see soon after a tragedy happens. Here the potential threat is taken out before he can even do anything and the proactive jock is the hero.
Gay British radio host Scott Mills visited a Ugandan witch doctor for a television special called The World's Worst Place to Be Gay. The doctor's cure consisted of stripping Mills to the waist, beating him with a live chicken, placing a torch over his head, and then pouring water over it. Congrats, he's no longer gay!
Take a look inside the human body at work, if the human body were completely made up of mechanical elements.
Serene Branson, the reporter for L.A.'s CBS affiliate who rather scarily descended into gibberish during Grammy coverage last night, did not have an on-air stroke. According to the New York Daily News, she wasn't hospitalized, is "feeling fine this morning," and was given the OK by paramedics at the scene after inexplicably speaking in tongues during a live shot. CBS isn't feeling so great about things though: It's started systematically trying to remove clips of the glitch from YouTube, citing copyright infringement.
Shirley Sherrod, who was fired from her USDA job last year after Andrew Breitbart posted online an edited video of her, has filed a lawsuit for libel and slander against Breitbart in D.C. Superior Court. The suit was filed on Friday, and Breitbart was served with it this weekend, while attending the Conservative Political Action Conference, according to The New York Times.
Any time seems like a good time to talk about Judd Apatows' shortlived but beloved series, Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared. But with the tenth anniversary of the latter coming up soon and the PaleyFest reunion happening shortly, it seems appropriate to take a look back at a college show that might have been more successful in this decade.
After Peter and Brian attend their first of thirty court mandated AA meeting they come home and complain to Lois about how boring it was. Then they realize that what was missing was beer.
Watch as a very intoxicated Sean Connery look-alike at a West Hollywood Denny's was recently caught on video eating his own paper napkin.
In your warming Monday media column: Jacob Weisberg points out that The Daily has no clothes, CBS is still wooing Katie Couric, rumors of Gannett getting rid of USA Today, Arianna Huffington stiffs a high school reporter, Dan Le Batard hammers a word stake in Deadspin's black heart, and alpacas attack.
This week, the media couldn't stop talking about what Lindsay Lohan wore to her millionth court appearance, making fun of A-Rod being fed pop-corn by Cameron Diaz, and Donald Trump's chat with Piers Morgan about politics.
The White House released its big budget proposal today for fiscal year 2012, which begins in October. There's been talk about major cuts the administration would be making, and this proposal would supposedly cut $1.1 trillion in deficits over the next ten years. It mostly accomplishes that through a five-year spending cap on non-defense discretionary funding, an area that only accounts for 12% of the budget anyway and isn't related to America's long-term debt problems. But it may make President Obama seem tough to Washington Post columnists, so it must be done!
It wasn't until the announcer said "Jimmy Goose" instead of Andrew Jackson that the audience became aware of foul play. To be fair, Jonathan T. President does sounds like a convincing Commander-In-Chief kind of name.
Last week, Manhattan's highfalutin Century Association made news for its internal argument over whether to sever ties with the Garrick, a club in London that doesn't admit women members. One of the Century members who came down firmly on the side of "I will not be inconvenienced on my next trip to London by silly ladies and their foolishness": 60 Minutes' Morley Safer! The NYT got its hands on a letter that ol' Morley sent to his fellow club members. Enjoy:
