In an obvious play on Lady Gaga's entrance to the Grammy Awards, Conan was carried out by his crew at the top of his show last night. As he put it, it's his "Lady Gaga entrance with zero cholesterol."

We open to Rusty and Calvin planning Cal's 21st birthday party! But their plans are about to be thwarted because the C in CRU stands for Chilly tonight, and you're welcome for your first grandpa joke of the night.

An Ecuadorean judge yesterday ordered Chevron to pay—wait for it—$8.6 billion, for polluting the Amazon region. It's one of the biggest environmental judgments ever, if not the biggest. It comes after the case had dragged on for 17 years.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Even pricks like Newt Gingrich think too many Americans are being locked up for dumb shit. Petty criminals take note!

Mayor Bloomberg, visiting the Brooklyn Brewery yesterday said, "I actually put ice in my beer," to the horror of Brooklyn beer snobs. The Post asked the editor of All About Beer magazine, Julie Johnson, how Bloomberg should enjoy his beer:

Around 50 members of Iran's parliament today called for the execution of opposition leaders Mir Hossein Mousavi and Mehdi Karroubi for being "corrupt on earth" — a charge that carries the death penalty — after the two men urged their supporters to protest in support of the revolution in Egypt. Tehran's police chief claims that "some police and security personnel were shot by [protesters] and nine security forces men and some other people were wounded in this incident."

Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi was indicted today for allegedly paying a 17-year-old girl for sex. The trial will start on April 6.

On Monday, a jury in Tucson found former beautician Shawna Forde guilty of killing nine-year-old Brisenia Flores and her father Raul in a bizarre paramilitary raid on the Flores home in 2009. Forde, the leader of a group called "Minutemen American Defense," is what you might call an anti-immigration activist, if you include murdering fourth-graders under your definition of "activism"; two years ago, she and two of her fellow "minutemen" burst into the home of the Flores family, apparently looking for drugs that they planned on using to fund their creepy military games, and shot Raul, Brisenia, and Brisineia's mother Gina. Gina survived by playing dead and later testified against Forde.

Poor Indian Foreign Minister S.M. Krishna! He gave a speech to the U.N. on Saturday about poverty and social unrest—only it was actually the Portuguese Foreign Minister's speech. Luis Amado, Portugal's Foreign Minister, had spoken before Krishna but ditched the prepared remarks; Krishna, apparently, picked up one of the circulated copies of Amado's speech and, not paying very much attention, dove right in, at one point noting his "satisfaction regarding the happy coincidence of having two members of the Portuguese speaking countries addressing the 15-nation council."

It's a well-known fact that someday, all of New York will be reduced to a smoldering, hellish wasteland, a post-apocalyptic desert so bad it will make The Road look like Sex and the City, a badland consisting of the ashes of a once-mighty city felled by war, disease, terror, or Zu'ul. Luckily, we've got an official legal manual!

Lady Gaga visited The Tonight Show this evening for an eye-opening interview about everything from the Grammys to Valentine's Day. When Jay Leno brought up the "Born This Way"/"Express Yourself" controversy, Gaga set the record straight. [Gawker.TV]

Lady Gaga visited The Tonight Show this evening for an eye-opening interview about everything from the Grammys to Valentine's Day. When Jay Leno brought up the "Born This Way"/"Express Yourself" controversy, Gaga set the record straight.

Daily Intel got their hands on a truly delightful memo from Jesse Angelo, editor-in-chief of News Corp's brand-new iPad-only thing The Daily. "Egypt is over," Angelo declares, "time for us to get focused on covering America." Here's the whole thing:

Click to view Did you know that Fox News host Glenn Beck is a huge fan of British rock band Muse? Or, he used to be—he said "they 'get it,'" whatever that means—until their performance at the Grammys last night.

Tonight, Jon Stewart returned with a segment about the revolution in Egypt—or, more specifically, the media's reaction to it. From those trying to credit Twitter, to Fox News' post-revolution fear-mongering, and more, nobody was safe. [Gawker.TV]

Tonight, Jon Stewart returned from vacation with a segment about the revolution in Egypt—or, more specifically, the media's reaction to it. From those trying to credit Twitter, to Fox News' post-revolution fear-mongering, and more, nobody was safe.

Austrian authorities have decided to weld shut the door to the secret cellar where notorious rapist and Two and a Half Men fan Josef Fritzl imprisoned his daughter and their seven children because, well, "teenagers have been partying in his secret dungeon."

What's former Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak up to? According to an Egyptian newspaper, he's been in a coma since Saturday and is "currently receiving medical treatment." The Egyptian government says that Mubarak has been in the resort town of Sharm al-Sheikh (and not in Germany or Saudi Arabia, as has been rumored) since his Thursday speech, during which, according to rumors, he fainted twice. Mubarak is 82, and underwent gall bladder surgery in Germany in 2010. [al-Arabiya]

Chelsea Peretti talks about getting out of three relationships and not knowing what to wear to attract the men. Among her choices are ball gowns and G-string suspenders.