Anyone who has ever graduated from art school in film will tell you that this video perfectly sums up what kinds of films you'll be forced to sit through for four years.

What happens if a contestant on Family Feud sucks so bad that it drags down the entire show? Apparently they do a do-over. In television anything is possible.

Last week we got to see Justin Bieber shot to death on CSI and yesterday the Biebs played in the Celebrity All-Star game. What resulted was a lot of time on the ground (ha!) but he was eventually named MVP.

What with the alarming recent pseudotrend of racism permeating college campuses, we'd be remiss if we didn't bring you up to speed on this late-breaking story from Friday: Mark Wattier (pictured, atop horse), a political science professor at Murray State University, has decided to retire after being suspended by the school for allegedly making a racial remark to two black students who, he said, showed up late for class. The student says:

Cats make for great internet video because they act ridiculous, especially when their owners are messing with them. Watch what happens when someone places a styrofoam peanut on the back section of this cat.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Over the last several years, Libya has transformed itself from regional pariah into a country where foreign leaders are begging to pose for a grip-and-grin with Brother Leader Muammar el-Qaddafi. How did this happen?

Tiny little Belgium broke a world record last week! From Time:

The battle between Wisconsin's unionized workers and GOP union-busters is rolling on. But the heated rhetoric hasn't stopped one age-old tradition among the various protesters: beer drinking. It seems that Schlitz and PBR might be the great equalizer, according to Reuters:

The pirates who captured the yacht carrying four Americans are from Somalia's Puntland region, where pirates "are known to spend their ransom spoils on alcohol, drugs and prostitutes," and don't generally harm their captives.

While renovating a Florida police station, construction workers Scott Burgert and Bradley Jones were tasked with "putting in an exhaust fan in the evidence vault to take out fumes from confiscated drugs stored there." But Jones and Burgert, according to the cops, found an even more efficient way to do deal with the problem: Remove the confiscated drugs from the evidence vault. Burgert and Jones allegedly stole 47 pounds of marijuana from the Florence Police Station while working there; they were arrested after an audit revealed the missing weed. The marijuana "was so old that it was moldy," anyway. [Times Daily via Fark]

Sunday Times foreign correspondent Marie Colvin—who was in Egypt during the uprising—says that she spoke with "medical sources," as well as an unnamed friend of CBS foreign correspondent Lara Logan, who "suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault" in Cairo's Tahrir square. The Australian summarizes Colvin's reporting:

The big problem with Facebook stalking is that it takes so much work. Which is why we're so excited for "Breakup Notifier," programmer Dan Loewenherz's new Facebook app for the lazy stalker. Just sign into the app with your Facebook account and choose a group of "taken" friends. Now, whenever those friends change their relationship statuses, the app will email you—freeing you up for stuff like standing outside peoples' windows, and stealing bits of their hair for your special doll. [Breakup Notifier via Reddit; image via Shutterstock]

Gorillas are so much like us! Not in the sense that they're magical creatures filled with empathy and understanding or whatever; in the sense that the ones who live in the U.S. are fat-asses dying of heart disease who love to throw up eat their own vomit in order "to taste sugar again and again." Really! Heart disease is the number-one killer among the type of gorillas that live in the U.S., and zoo gorillas really do barf up their meals and eat them again, apparently four times an hour on average—even though their diet consists entirely of totally delicious-looking, definitely healthy and not-at-all gross red vitamin biscuits!

A British I.T. guy named Tom Pickles snapped a mysterious cell phone picture of what could possibly be some kind of monstrous water creature in England's Lake Windermere. "Is this England's answer to the Loch Ness monster?" English tabloid The Sun wonders. But a lake ecologist speaking with The Daily Telegraph, on the other hand, suggests that it may be "a catfish from Eastern Europe," which, we suppose, would be make it Eastern Europe's answer to the Loch Ness monster. (We note that Pickles found the creature while on a team-building exercise with his company, making his encounter with "bow-nessie" the only interesting or worthwhile thing that has ever happened on a team-building exercise.)

Looking for a way to show your support for both pizza and the cause of Wisconsin unions, currently engaged in protests against the state's Republican Governor Scott Walker and his anti-union budget bill? Try calling Ian's, a "campus staple" pizza joint in Madison, which has given away thousands of slices of "donated" pizza to protestors, all bought and paid for by people calling in to the restaurant from around the world. No, really, around the world:

According to Latvian news agency Leta, a vigilante in the audience of a Latvian screening of Black Swan last weekend shot and killed another audience member "over how loudly the deceased man was eating his popcorn." Say what you will about the suspect, but he wasn't a hypocrite; he at least had the decency to commit his noisy crime during the end credits of the film.

Let's check in on America's public school systems and see how we're preparing our youth of today for the challenges of tomorrow! In Fairfax County, Va., The Washington Post reports, a 15-year-old "model student" and linebacker, Nick Stuban, was suspended and banned from school property for seven weeks for buying a capsule of the legal "marijuana-like" synthetic compound JWH-108. He was then reassigned to a different high school; a month later, he killed himself.

Mary Van Note reads excerpts from her middle school diary. Middle school Mary has plenty of wisdom about boys, guardian angels, and her future as a widowed optometrist.

Two girls were hurt in Arizona over the weekend when the inflatable castle in which they were bouncing was carried away by a sudden gust of wind and deposited on the roof of a neighbor's house. One of the girls is still in the emergency room with serious head injuries, apparently in "serious but stable condition"; the other seems to have escaped with only minor injuries. In the future, please, remember to properly secure your enormous air-filled castle; but remember that wind is not the only danger threatening your bounce house-occupying children: Last year, California's attorney general filed a lawsuit over high levels of lead in bounce-house vinyl. [ABC15; KOLD; stock image via Shutterstock]