Everyone's favorite daytime lushes toast to "Boozeday Tuesday" with a gigantic margarita. But don't worry, they won't be drinking the whole thing - think of all those calories!
The news out of Real America: Real America is dying. That's a technical term! New census figures show that a full one in four counties in America are "dying," meaning that they have more deaths than births. They're slowly being erased from not only sociopolitical relevance, but from existence itself!
Last night's Greek caper was a classic tale of betrayal, truths revealed, and shirtless Dales aplenty.
This actress broke up with her celebrity husband because he can't just say no to sex with prostitutes. This famous family is on the outs and this closet case has a case of velvet rage. Is it possible to be addicted to anger?
Screw 21 guns! 320,000 firecrackers is the way to go when paying tribute to a lost loved one. It may not have looked very pretty initially but a whole crap load of tiny explosions makes up for that.
It looks like America's Facebooking-est failed governor has been using a fake account to shower praise on her daughter and "like" herself. And she's friends with some creepy people!
A normally peaceful retirement community was shaken up once surveillance video revealed a man stealing breakfast sausage from their clubhouse...in the nude.
This Jim Beam meets high fashion, too hot for television commercial is sure to give the Old Spice guy a run for his money.
Malikah Shabazz, the 45 year-old daughter of Malcolm X, is scheduled for an extradition hearing in North Carolina today, after she was arrested there last Friday on a warrant from New York. She's charged with stealing the identity of "the widow of one of Malcolm X's bodyguards" and running up $30,000 in charges in her name. Shabazz is also involved in an ongoing dispute over Malcolm X's estate. She reportedly moved to North Carolina several months ago because "She thought it would be a peaceful place to live."
Four Americans—Scott and Jean Adam, who were delivering Bibles around the world, and two friends, Phylis Macay and Bob Riggle (pictured)—were hijacked by Somali pirates last Friday while sailing in a yacht off the coast of Oman. Now, they're all dead. According to CBS News, a US Navy ship that was tracking the yacht heard gunshots, and proceeded to "seize" the vessel.
In a Post exclusive today we learn that alleged mobster Vincent "Vinny Gorgeous" Basciano, for his upcoming death-penalty trial, will have the right to "up to five sets of clothing, including but not limited to undershirts, socks, shoes, dress shirts, suit pants and suit jackets, be made available to Basciano prior to each court date in this case." Stay gorgeous, Vinny.
State-run television in Uzbekistan recently aired a documentary called "Melody and Calamity" to warn Uzbeks of the dangers of western rap and rock music, which are "approaching as dark clouds over the heads of Uzbek youth." One of the more interesting facts from the documentary states that "rap was originated by inmates in prisons, that's why rap singers wear wide and long trousers." The film also suggests that metal fans can be swayed by the soothing sound of classical Uzbek music. Makes sense! [AFP]
Magnetic north is shifting! The place all compasses point to is moving from "near Canada toward Russia" at a rate of 40 miles a year, "about a one-degree difference in compass direction every five years." This is, of course, a massive pain in the ass for airports, pilots, boaters, and, apparently, turtles, who rely on magnetic north to migrate between Africa and South America. We blame postmodernism and the loss of external truth, and also, the constant movement of the earth's molten iron core. [Sun-Sentinel via Daily Intel]
