Ordering Celery Leads to Complete Sausage Fest

Marisa Gladstone · 03/08/11 11:00PM

When three guys order hot wings one makes the mistake of ordering celery. His friends then try to teach him a lesson about the types of things ordering celery can lead to.

Jackass For Girls Is Just As Raunchy

Marisa Gladstone · 03/08/11 10:35PM

This video proves that girls can be just as raunchy and gross as the Jackass crew. This badass group of girls take on curling irons to the head and shaving their legs without water, among other difficult feats.

Mafia Boss Hidey-Hole Now Available

Max Read · 03/08/11 10:06PM

Would you like to live inside a hidden bunker in an Italian mansion? A vacancy may open up in one soon! Police in the Italian state of Calbrian had to drag alleged crime-syndicate boss Francesco Maisano out of his during an international bust of 31 suspected mafia goons (or gooni in Italian).

Are These Cats Trying to Hypnotize You?

Lisa Gagliardi · 03/08/11 09:45PM

These cats appear to only be playing, but they're really using their cute head movements to lull you into a false sense of security until it's time to attack.

Jerry Seinfeld on Cabbies

Marisa Gladstone · 03/08/11 09:00PM

Jerry Seinfeld discusses New York City cab drivers and the dangers all of us face by getting into their cabs.

Dog Skillfully Opens Can of Food With Its Teeth

Marie Bardi · 03/08/11 07:45PM

This pup must have been hungry, as it manages to peel open a can of dog food on its own. Some say that cats are the more intelligent animals, but this clever canine gives them a run for their money!

Comment of the Day: The Business of Fucksawing

Richard Lawson · 03/08/11 07:40PM

We've been talking a lot about fucksaws recently! Sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly. Like when Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is referred to as "a human fucksaw." This prompted a commenter to wonder if we maybe had stock in the fucksaw and stood to gain from its mention. (We don't, sadly.) This question opened the door for some charming legalese/business-type speculation.

Cop Fails in Attempts to Act Like He's Typing

Marisa Gladstone · 03/08/11 07:15PM

Strathclyde Assistant Chief Constable Campbell Corrigan was filmed for a segment on the news, where it seems he was asked to pretend to be working on his computer. Needless to say, he is a terrible fake typist.

Man Sues Medic Who Stole His Disembodied Foot to Train Her Dog

Maureen O'Connor · 03/08/11 05:59PM

Two years ago, Florida firefighter and paramedic Cindy Economou served six months of probation for second-degree petty theft for stealing a disembodied foot from the scene of a car crash with the ulterior motive of using it to train her cadaver-sniffing dog. Economou's excuse: "It was an unrecognizable mass of flesh. It wasn't a clean cut. You couldn't even recognize it as a foot… If I had thought it was somehow reattachable and usable, I would have gone to my commander." Well, in that case—hmm, no, still horrifying.