President Obama is seriously wearing on the patience of America's most war-loving war lovers, the Washington neoconservatives. Why won't Obama be reasonable and just let them have their endless War in Libya? Muammar Qaddafi is strengthening his grip and moving east, so the window of opportunity for invading another decentralized tribal country and then spending a dozen years there while alienating everyone in the region is closing. And so the neocons have banded together to write Obama a sternly worded letter asking for their war, please, now.

This creative video traces the wifi strength of a city, in long exposure photographs, using a 4m rod with various points of light. It's a beautiful look into the invisible Wifi patterns that can be found in most urban spaces.

The clean-up from Japan's earthquake and tsunami will take forever. Cars, boats, and heavy debris are strewn about the grid of flattened houses and stripped buildings. These photos from the past 24 hours show the true scale of this mess.

Snooki will wrestle once more for Wrestlemania, Chloe Sevigny will play Lizzie Borden, Gilbert Gottfried gets fired from Aflac, Ricki Lake is poised for a comeback and the Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump airs tonight at 11.

Apparently young men and women of the Jewish faith now making elaborate music videos with dance breakdowns where they brag about "singing in the shul."

A little boy and his loyal bulldog do everything in their power to stay awake in front of their television set.

It's been quite some time since we checked in with Dustin and Jayden, Manhattan's most obnoxious homosexuals. We bumped into them last night at a bar in Hells Kitchen and they were talking about Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and the tsunami. Here's what they had to say.

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a longtime staff writer at Salon. Her job entails finding whatever self-explanatory thing was popular on the internet yesterday, and writing several hundred words today purporting to shed light on it. She could make a great living tutoring layabout high school kids in how to pad two paltry thoughts out into an entire term paper.

Today at Gawker.TV, Tyra Banks ponders wearing suspenders with breasts, Jane Lynch de-bunks the Oscar-party-pot rumor, Daniel Radcliffe talks theater, more from the "Hottie Body Hump Club," and every painful moment from three hours of The Bachelor's finale.

Congratulations to maxgee for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame.

And so it begins! It's the first day of Jezebel's ultimate Cats vs. Dogs tournament, wherein felines and canines will face off for the title of General Bestness. Put on your water wings and get ready to dive in. [Jezebel]

The music festival component of South by Southwest kicks off this Wednesday in Austin, where record company people, media, sponsors, and probably Bill Murray will spend the following four days in delirious pursuit of the event's hottest commodity: buzz.

Of the 2,000 or so bands scheduled to perform, a handful have spent the past few months steadily accumulating blog and word-of-mouth hype. Making a good impression here will be an important early step in their ascent (after that, it goes: song placement in Virgin Mobile commercial, appearance on next Twilight soundtrack, Kanye West sample/collaboration). So in honor of the year—but really because it was so hard to narrow it down to ten—here are 11 essential buzz bands playing at SXSW 2011.

Arrested at the end of 28-hour killing spree that left four people dead, accused murderer Maksim Gelman told the NYPD, "I've had a doozy of a day." [Cityroom]

Since the Japan earthquake hit, it seems like the story surrounding the Fukushima Nuclear Power plant has changed every 10 minutes, making it tough to keep up on the latest developments. Here's everything you need to know. [Gizmodo]

Chuck featured a cameo by Isaiah Mustafa as a super-spy/intersect who steals Casey away from Sarah and Chuck. The episode begins with Casey acting weird and avoiding his team.

Maybe you news junkies have been paying so much attention to the actual major news events in Japan, North Africa, the Middle East and various state governments that you forgot about the incompetent dumpheads in Washington, who haven't been able to accomplish anything beyond funding the government every couple of weeks after days of serial posturing about nothing. So let's get this update out of the way and then return to the news: The federal government will probably get funded for another three weeks. Thank your members of Congress!

Mike Huckabee, the nation is with you! Natalie Portman and her shameful ilk, that is to say unwed mothers, are approved of even less than gay parents these days, according to a new Pew study.

What was Meredith's very first question out of the gate? Which is harder: being naked in Equus or singing and dancing in How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying?

At an Oscar party Jane smelled marijuana, somehow the rumor got spread that it was hers. Jane is actually writing a book about being sober so she decided it was a good time to clear the air with Jay Leno.