Here's something that should restore confidence in the FAA: The only air traffic controller at Washington's Reagan National Airport early Wednesday morning was either sleeping on the job or got "locked out" of the control tower, forcing two pilots to land passenger jets on their own, according to The Washington Post. From midnight to 6 am, only one air traffic controller is on duty in the tower at Reagan. And apparently Wednesday's controller stopped responding to phone calls, pilot requests and even calls over a "shout line" loudspeaker in the tower. Here's a conversation between a Potomac TRACON controller (not at the airport) and one of the pilots:

Wow, looks like PETA might have been right about something! Last year, the animal rights group said the world's favorite captive polar bear, Knut, was basically crazy and that he "suffers from panic attacks and 'sways to and fro' in an abnormal manner." (PETA last year also said Knut's balls should be cut off, so fuck them and their ridiculous campaigns that make all vegetarians look look like assholes.) However, the the group may have been at least partially correct:

Poor Detroit. People leave bombs there, and no one wants to live there any more or, apparently, even travel there. That's why suspected underwear bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab picked a Detroit flight for his failed 2009 Christmas flaming underwear bomb attempt over other American cities, the AP has discovered:

All right, so maybe you aren't Rebecca Lanier old. You're still old. How old? Let's put it this way: You know that baby with the afro on the cover of The Notorious B.I.G.'s Ready to Die? His name is Keithroy Yearwood, and he's now 18. In the video, Yearwood and his folks recount how he was plucked from child model obscurity, only to be marked for greatness as the poopie-diapered symbol of a hip-hop generation. As cover-baby reunions go, it's pretty satisfying—even if it lacks the bold, full-frontal diaperlessness of Nevermind's Spencer Elden, now a 20-something street artist living in LA. [NYDN via The Daily What]

I realize we have a lot on our worrying plates, between all the tsunamis and Qaddaffis dominating the news these days—but if I could just momentarily direct your hopelessness in the direction of the adorable, oil-soaked rockhopper penguins above, I'd be much obliged. These faces are the innocent victims of yet another disaster that unfolded Tuesday on Nightingale Island, part of a South Atlantic archipelago located halfway between Argentina and South Africa.

The Texas House has passed a bill requiring voters to bring ID to polling places. Which is great! If your aim is to surpress minority and low-income voters, without even addressing the problem you made up as an excuse.

Feeling blue? Listless? Down in the dumps? Incapable of experiencing pleasure in any way, shape, or form? Then you might be gay!

Did anyone lose a bomb in Detroit? Because there's one in the lost-and-found of a federal office building there. Or there was, for three weeks, until security guards decided to scan it and realized what they had.

Last week, we all mourned the untimely passing of Knut—the adorable polar bear (and Deutsche Vanity Fair cover-cub) born to a Berlin zoo back in 2006. Less missed, however, will be Knut's lesser-known den-mate, Kunt—a short-tempered female described by staff and zoo visitors as being "generally unpleasant to be around." Her passing is considered suspicious and is currently under investigation. [Reddit]

Thousands of people in Brooklyn will tell you how great Brooklyn used to be. I never took those people seriously. Until I heard how once, pot plants "as tall as Christmas trees," grew in "anonymous vacant lots" in Brooklyn.

On tonight's Report, we witnessed the conclusion of Stephen Colbert's "Raging Art-On," where the host delved into New York's art auction scene and attempted to get top dollar for a portrait of himself to benefit charity. How'd it go? [Gawker.TV]

On tonight's Report, we witnessed the conclusion of Stephen Colbert's "Raging Art-On," where the host delved into New York's art auction scene and attempted to get top dollar for a portrait of himself to benefit charity. How'd it go?

Feeling old? Well, you're an applesauce-smeared toddler next to Rebecca Lanier, a great-great-great-great grandmother from Ohio who turned 119 today.

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart opened with a new segment called "When Reporters Attack." His first target? HLN loudmouth Nancy Grace, and her hilarious fight with a meteorologist who said that radiation from Japan probably wouldn't harm Americans. [Gawker.TV]

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart opened with a new segment called "When Reporters Attack." His first target? HLN loudmouth Nancy Grace, and her hilarious fight with a meteorologist who said that radiation from Japan probably wouldn't harm Americans

Meet Stanley! Stanley is a dog. In this video, Stanley—who is very, very excited, obviously—runs in and out of his owners' bedroom, jumping over their bed in the process. That is, until he forgets to jump—and crashes spectacularly.

Japan's Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency released the first round of photographs from the interior of the stricken Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Power Plant, where 180 workers, operating in rotating shifts, are struggling to contain and control the release of radiation.

On tonight's American Idol, Jacob Lusk performed Marvin Gaye's "You're All I Need To Get By." Afterward, Steven Tyler rushed the stage to hug him. Then, Randy Jackson declared it the best performance in the "history of this show." [Gawker.TV]

On tonight's American Idol, Jacob Lusk performed Marvin Gaye's "You're All I Need To Get By." Afterward, Steven Tyler rushed the stage to hug him. Then, Randy Jackson declared it the best performance in the "history of this show."

Remember Specialist Jeremy Morlock, the 22-year-old Alaskan who took horrifying photos of his own war crimes? He's now pleaded guilty to three counts of murder and has been sentenced to 24 years in jail; in exchange, essentially, for not getting a life sentence, he'll testify against the four other soldiers also accused of murdering Afghan civilians "for sport." He apologized in court to his victims' families and "the people of Afghanistan themselves." [NYT]