Former Rep. John Adler of New Jersey, a one-term Democratic congressman who lost his seat last November, has died. Adler, who was 51, had undergone emergency heart surgery last month for staph bacterial endocarditis.

The seaside underbrush near Oak Beach, N.Y., is basically a mass grave. After finding a fifth body near the Long Island beach community last week, authorities there redoubled their search for a missing girl and found three more over the weekend. Total body count: eight.

When Irwin the handicapped kangaroo looked at his owner Christine with those big brown eyes, they knew it was fate. Not only is he adorable, but as a therapy pet, he's teaching everyone how to love life again.

This "Let's Talk About Sex" film is trying to send a big message, literally... if the Washington Monument protects itself, you should too. And word on the street is, the Washington Monument is kind of a whore.

When normal people trip, there's bruised egos and maybe even real bruises. But when this Italian soccer player trips, he scores!

The Lonely Island offers us a new video appropriately titled "We're Back!" as a teaser for their upcoming album, "Turtlenecks and Chains". Here, the crew raps about about their dicks... which are apparently like "melted butter", "soft as a pillow".

An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. But this email that went around is still inexcusable. [Deadspin]

A major construction project has begun around the West Wing of the White House, shrouding a "expanding and sometimes earsplitting zone of excavation" with plywood fences. This "overdue upgrade of underground utilities," according to the AP, will take years to complete.

Getting a board game is often a cruel joke when you're an only child. That is unless you can teach your dog to play with you.

This guy literally has one of the worlds most dangerous jobs, he has to clean the cobra pit at the zoo. In this video he fearlessly picks up the snakes from their napping spots and tosses them to the side like their rubber toys and sweeps up their dried egg shells and poop.

When he went down for a siesta, he had no idea he'd be rudely awoken by the sound of gunshots... or firecrackers in a pot. Looks like he woke up at the crack of dawn, get it? Get it?!

As plague of gibberish sweeps North America's TV personalities—from Judge Judy's linguistic meltdown to Serene Branson's migraine to Sarah Carlson's seizure to Mark McAllister speaking in tongues—intrepid British spaz rag The Daily Mail asks, is a government conspiracy afoot?

David Thewlis, who plays Professor Lupin in the Harry Potter movies, says he plays his character as a "gay junkie." Are these characters' sexual orientations decided arbitrarily by the Sorting Hat or something? At least Dumbledore has a date now!

This Snowman nicknamed Freaky, scares tourist and locals alike in Times Square. People line up to take pictures with a fake snowman and then they realize he's alive.

This incredible ad for a new Japanese cell phone plays J.S. Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" on a gigantic, wooden Rube Goldberg-esque xylophone contraption. Perhaps the best part is the phone is called the "Touch Wood". Win!

A teenager has been arrested for trying to smuggle $10,000 worth of marijuana across the Mexico-U.S. border.

If anything will make it easier for House conservatives to back off on shutting down the government this week, it's the prospect of a different, and much larger fight over the federally funded social safety net. House Republicans are preparing to introduce a 10-year budget Tuesday that will eliminate Medicare and replace it with a private insurance system that closely resembles the new health care law, and end Medicaid as an entitlement program all together.

If you're anything like me, you spent many afternoons after school enthralled by the adventures of Lion-O and his fellow ThunderCats. Banking on collective nerd nostalgia (guilty!) and the exploitable ignorance of kids more than half my age who have no clue this isn't an entirely new phenomenon, Cartoon Network is remaking the show.

Watch this guy impress girls by chugging a pitcher of beer in 5 seconds flat.

Vanquished social network MySpace will open its books to interested buyers Wednesday. The only problem is that the books look horrible and no one is interested in buying.