Move over Jen Aniston, we have a new queen of sad jiltedness. And sadness, thy name is Bridget Moynihan. Also today: Two TV powerhouses are welcoming new children into their lives, LeBron's mom is in trouble, and Kanye likes the ladies.

The grand experiment is finally over. NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg has dropped his unqualified and unpopular schools chancellor Cathie Black after only a few months on the job. Her replacement will be Dennis Walcott, a current deputy mayor.

This foodie star loves to give singers head—and there's a double helping today to prove it. This model is outing her ex-boyfriend. This actor has a problem with his penis. Maybe our chef can kiss it and make it better?

Didn't think "Friday" could get more nightmarish? Sadie B and her Christian parody "Sunday" has set out to prove you wrong. God help us.

Apparently your right to Tweet is sacrosanct in the workplace. The National Labor Relations Board is suing Reuters for disciplining a staffer over something she wrote on Twitter. Twitter rights are human rights. The Tweeters, United, Will Never Be Defeated!

It's debatable whether Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is actually the "World's first 3D porn". (That would probably be Kama-Sutra.) But it's certainly the first 3D porn to hit China. Here's how The Guardian describes Sex and Zen

85-year-old British sailor Anthony Smith just finished crossing the Atlantic on a 40-foot raft with some friends because, "What else do you do when you get on in years?" I dunno... drugs? Bingo? Forward chain emails?

As John Boehner cries for America in these trying times on the Hill, it looks like a government shutdown will mean that US troops serving overseas will only get half their pay (or maybe even less) until a later date. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is in Iraq today, and had to break the news to servicemembers. The Times breaks down what a shutdown would mean for their pay:

New Zealand's Hell Pizza chain is known for its offensive gimmicks, and the restaurant's newest campaign is doing a good job of keeping the tradition alive. Billboards have been appearing to promote the chain's Hell Cross Buns with a pentagram on the pastry and the slogan, "For a limited time. A bit like Jesus."

Remember the air traffic controller who fell asleep at the controls on the graveyard shift in DC last month, forcing a pilot to land a passenger jet on his own? Well, there seems to be somewhat of a pattern developing here: FAA Administrator Randy Babbitt testified at a congressional hearing about the incident yesterday, and said that in February an air traffic controller at Knoxville, Tennessee's McGhee Tyson Airport was "found intentionally sleeping" on the job. And the best part? He brought pillows and a cushion with him!

The fine folks at BBC News have since had a change of heart, but when this story on a sex-ed program for Boy and Girl Scouts first ran, it was accompanied by the regrettably chosen photo you see in the screengrab. Unless I'm getting this totally wrong, and knotting techniques have officially been replaced by obscene hand gestures as their badge-earning skill of choice. "What did you get this one for?" "The Shocker!" [BBC via The Daily What]

A 5,000-year-old skeleton was discovered in a Prague suburb, and archaeologists have declared him to be the first known "gay caveman" in history. That's because he was still wearing a pair of Tom Ford sunglasses. No, just kidding — it's because of how he was buried.

Funny or Die videos often suck. Once in awhile they're great. This is one of those times. Here's a fake trailer—plus some behind-the-scenes footage—for Grampires: When Sharon Bit Harry, starring Billy Crystal and Helen Mirren. [Funny or Die]

There will come a day in the not-so-distant future when Ryan Seacrest will squirm his way into every corner and every minute of your waking life. That day is, like, tomorrow. A story in The Hollywood Reporter estimates his 2011 gross income (maybe even net? He's like the GE of diminutive on-air personalities) will be somewhere in the vicinity of $55 million. How does that figure break down, exactly? Let's count the ways.

Good news: your friendly neighborhood Church of Scientology is expanding their golf course! Bad news: that involves evicting all the residents of Sleepy Hollow, a 30-year-old trailer park located near their San Jacinto headquarters. 21 tenants have already left the premises, but two brave souls are holding out.

Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, we now have access to a thick FBI file detailing the agency's investigation into the 1997 shooting death of Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace. The case, which now falls under the jurisdiction of the LAPD, has famously run cold. But these documents, though heavily redacted, bring some interesting details to light—including ballistics evidence that further links evil former LAPD officer David Mack to the murder.

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert debuted a new series—"My Fair Colbert: Stephen Colbert's Crown Jewels"—in which he attempted to become more British ahead of the royal wedding. Up first: Colbert had high afternoon tea with British royal biographer Hugo Vickers—and by "had," I mean "ruined."

Georgia father Eugene Ashley pleaded guilty this week to tattooing his three-year-old son with the initials "DB"—short for "Daddy's Boy." Really, dude? "DB"? You couldn't have come up with something better than that?

You can tell that a war zone has really gotten out of control when Geraldo Rivera shows up—and that's exactly what just happened in Libya. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart examined—and heartily mocked—Rivera's role in the conflict.

Recognize this oil on canvas painting? Believe it or not, it's perhaps the best-known Leonardo da Vinci painting this side of The Last Supper. Yes, it's the Mona Lisa without Mona Lisa, as interpreted by Adobe Photoshop. [Gizmodo]