Modern romance: The game has changed. So much so that your first date may very well involve Tide and dryer sheets. A dating site survey reveals which activities were most popular with daters in New York and elsewhere. [Jezebel]

Last night we all suffered through another episode of the History Channel's blazing documentary Detente: People Sitting and Talking about Conflicts Brought to You by Lunchables. Then we learned about a Pecking Order and the treaty was broken, faces were slapped with gloves, and gauntlets were thrown down. There be war in Housewives land!

We all know reality television shows, including and especially American Idol, are basically serial hoaxes. But couldn't they try a little harder to maintain the illusion? Idol producers went to elaborate lengths last night to falsely present Jennifer Lopez's on-air performance as "live," but they left behind a few editing artifacts proving that it was taped.

"Tik Tok" singer Ke$ha is suing a watch company for naming a watchstrap the "TikTok." Someone should tell the U.S. Treasury to sue Ke$ha for abusing the dollar sign.

Azim Durrani is an ordinary 20-year-old geek in Abbottabad, Pakistan. He loves heavy metal and comics. He does his homework too late. He even knows which videogames the Taliban enjoys. But he never realized Osama Bin Laden lived nearby. [Kotaku]

Fox News held a focus group of South Carolina Republican voters immediately after last night's chilling debate between Tim Pawlenty and several third-tier candidates. The group had two nearly unanimous opinions.

Another death on last night's installment of American Glitterdoom, and now we're left with four. Just four! The bees are buzzing, the leaves are on the trees, and only four Idol contestants remain. Which means it's almost summer! Hooray!

President Obama made it back from Ground Zero yesterday just in time for a packed White House Cinco de Mayo party. He prepared for the crowd all sorts of Mexico-related jokes, for which the First Lady served as a useful prop at times. Mexican food is Michelle's favorite, Obama said, adding that "you do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale." Not that she's fat or anything, he hastily adds — she exercises, too! Oh, to be a prop wife.

Today in absurdly American celebrations of Osama bin Laden's death: Here is a song by one Scott Gerling celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden. Sample lyrics:

It doesn't seem like America's path towards deficit reduction will include Rep. Paul Ryan's plan to privatize and voucherize Medicare anymore, friends. Why? Because President Obama was such a jerk about it.

Angelina Jolie is sick of listening to herself speak. Paris Hilton picks a fight with Lindsay Lohan. Penelope Cruz teaches a lesson on raunchy Spanish idioms. A famous person names his daughter "Mirabella Bunny." TGIFriday gossip.

This leading lady just got the news and is hoping to film a movie before the bump shows. This celeb just got married but is already dating. And this actress played a really nasty trick on a costar. Let's just say everyone knows the costar isn't pregnant!

Florida's state legislature passed a bill this week outlawing bestiality. The bill was introduced in 2008 after a notorious case involving a pet goat. Today in Florida every person with a bestiality fetish is going: Wait, it was legal!?

Congratulations! The economy added 244,000 jobs last month. So how come you don't have one? Because that's not nearly enough. Not even close.

If you thought 3-D was the last frontier in making people feel queasy during summer blockbusters, guess again. The hot new movie-watching technology out of Hollywood are "gyrating seats."

Al Qaida has released a statement with some shocking news: Its leader, Osama bin Laden, has been killed in some sort of operation. Details are sketchy, but the terror network confirmed that Americans' "happiness will turn to sadness [and] their blood will be mingled with their tears."

The sale of wolf hunting permits in Idaho yesterday was "brisk," following the state's removal of most of the areas wolves from the endangered species list. On Wednesday, the head of the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, Virgil Moore told reporters, "Whether you agree with how they got here or why they got here, they are now wards of the state." He also explained the how and why:

A video that was shot last January in Phoenix — showing police officer Patrick Larrison shove a 15-year-old girl into a wall after she'd been in a drunken altercation with her mother in a strip mall parking lot — has surfaced and is causing some commotion in the city. When a colleague of Larrison's saw the video this week they alerted superiors at the Phoenix Police Department, which has since put Larrison on paid leave pending an investigation. Sgt. Trent Crump told the AP, "At face value, the video is concerning to us."

Using the Gemini South telescope, two Argentinean astronomers, Julia Arias and Rodolfo Barbá, produced this "psychedelic" composite image of the Lagoon Nebula — 5,000 light years from Earth. As the Gemini Observatory explains it:

Do you throw your salami in the microwave before eating it? If not, you're screwed and might die (or at least get diarrhea) from nasty Listeria monocytogenes hanging around in your food. Mmm, steaming hot lunch meat.