Bedbugs carrying a drug-resistant MRSA germ have been discovered in Vancouver. It's unclear whether the bedbugs can give the germ to humans—we might have even given it to them—but the story is pretty close to the platonic ideal for public health panics. (Needs more obesity.) It's a fractal of insidious bugs! Zoom in, zoom out, on the micro level, on the macro level: Bugs! A bugaboo of bugs, butt-ugly and bugging us until we bug out.

Washington Post reporter Richard Leiby has covered the war in Iraq and served as a gossip columnist, but his toughest assignment may have been the 20-plus years he spent writing about Scientology. At least Iraqi insurgents never sent private investigators to dig through his trash.

Poor sad millionairess Jennifer Aniston. The actress recently bought the Manhattan sky tomb of her saddest dreams, but couldn't quite muster the strength to be a, gulp, single independent lady and put her own name on the apartment.

Erik Wemple was the longtime editor of the Washington City Paper, where he routinely ripped the Washington Post various new assholes, as is the job of any good alt-weekly editor. A little over a year ago, Wemple left the WCP to join TBD.com, the hot new startup that would revolutionize online local news in DC.

Former Alaskan youth hockey player Levi Johnson, who knocked up Bristol Palin three years ago, was famous for two more years after that, and now is not very famous, has a hot new book comin' out. Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs will hit stores September 27, and now the cover has been released. Look up and to the right — there it is! Oh, golly. [via Political Wire]

For all you would-be scoundrels, here's a recent medical paper that will be of interest. It's about the dangers of swallowing your prizes. In a new paper, two academics detail a case about a diamond theft gone south. Literally. [io9]

An unnamed 31-year-old man was arrested early this morning in Petoskey, Michigan, while dressed as Batman and dangling from a rope on the side of a building. In his utility belt were some sort of baton, lead-lined gloves, and pepper spray. Well, pepper spray was always was the Joker's Achilles Heel.

Donald Trump let Rolling Stone in on his hair routine: "OK, what I do is, wash it with Head and Shoulders. I don't dry it, though. I let it dry by itself. It takes about an hour."

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith will be the guests on the final episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show on May 25th. Will they bring their celebrity brood? Will everyone get a car? You know we'll all be watching regardless.

Two earthquakes hit southern Spain in quick succession today, resulting in several deaths and widespread damage. This comes on the day some predicted an earthquake would destroy Rome, which resulted in thousands fleeing the city. Looks like the prophesy was only off by a few countries. Let's hope those exiled Italians didn't head to Spain.

What say we check the headlines for a new installation of that old segment, Morons With Signs On Their Lawns, hmm? Let's see here... well look at that, it's a moron with a sign on his lawn! Michael Heick of Amherst, New York — the moron — lives next to a mosque, but can't stand their flashy lights. So the sign he's put on his lawn says, "BOMB MAKING NEXT DRIVEWAY." Take that, fuckers!

A 12-year-old British schoolboy who organized rally to liberate shorts made a trenchant observation yesterday. Chris Whitehead—whose "discriminatory" school uniform code permits skirts for girls but no corollary warm weather option for boys—told a reporter:

The AP reports that Osama bin Laden's hand-written journal was taken in last week's raid, too. It's supposedly "filled with planning ideas and details of operations." That's nice, but more importantly, whom did Osama have a secret crush on?

Lindsay Lohan formally submitted her "no contest" plea to the misdemeanor theft of a necklace today, and the judge decided she will serve no time beyond the 120 days she has already been sentenced for violating probation.

In Google's war with Facebook, Google's "don't be evil" motto could be a casualty. The search engine is now leveraging your private Gmail information to get an edge in the social networking wars. It's creepy.

In your harrowing Wednesday media column: an Al Jazeera reporter is held in Iran, Chattanooga newsman in Nazi cop row, Uganda's tabloids go hard on "Homos," the NYT's web traffic inches downward, and Bill Gallo dies.

In the oddly satisfying slow-motion backlash against Groupon, one of the chief objections from business owners is that Groupon takes a hefty cut of the proceeds for doing nothing but selling the coupons, leaving the businesses themselves with all the work and all the risk.

Even al Qaeda has confirmed that Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals. But Osama bin Laden's son, Omar bin Laden, says he and his family are "not convinced" his father is dead.

Oh prom! The most important time in any teenagers life where all the details of what dress to wear, what limo to get, and what substances to take seem so important. Well, they're not. But they do make for good television and great Glee.

A female peacock that escaped from the Bronx Zoo last night has been recovered from a local parking garage. The fugitive peahen's freedom was so brief, she never even got a Twitter account. [NYDN]