Other than fighting one's way to Internet super-stardom, the latest trend involving fast food restaurants is mini-sizing: offering smaller-than-usual portions of popular items to maintain brand loyalty among small-stomached or calorie-counting consumers. Bucket-sized out, thimble-sized in!

There are already many good reasons to drink alcohol, but we won't begrudge science for coming up with another: Seniors over 75 who have about a drink a day are significantly less likely to develop dementia or Alzheimer's disease.

It's not entirely clear what led Frederick Ladd Wintle, a Republican state legislator from Maine, to believe that a local news photographer might also be a drug dealer who's somehow responsible for killing babies. But it appears that he was wrong, and also wrong about some other things.

Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels has decided not to run for president. He alerted followers of the news in an email sent out early — really early — Sunday morning, probably while he was drunk, or at least, feeling restless after Saturday Night Live. Daniels, an establishment Republican favorite, had built up a reputation as a "sane" Republican by not actively demonizing Muslims and talking about "the deficit" all the time, but he stripped Indiana funds for Planned Parenthood and continued to identify himself as a Republican in 2011, so how sane can he really be? Even so, someone should check on David Brooks and make sure he's doing okay. [Politico; image via AP]

Russell Brand gets kicked out of Japan. Jane Seymour thinks Arnold has two more kids. And Britney Spears is breaking up with her boyfriend, sort of. Sunday gossip is posting this from heaven.

In addition to self-entitled politicians, celebrity herpes, elitist bedbugs, and those aggressive little purple animals that always hide inside the ice machines, please add "being gassed while sleeping" to your growing list of hotel hazards.

A tipster sent in one of the above photos of Georgetown University's thick commencement book, which cleverly doubles as a last-minute spelling test. We're not, obviously, in a great position to criticize the typographical errors of others; on the other hand, we're not an accredited institution of higher learning. [other image via Jason Hettenbaugh]

Saturday, May 21 was supposed to be the start of end of the world, according to the calculations of radio host Harold Camping. It wasn't. So what happens on May 22?

For its season finale, Saturday Night Live brought out two big guns: Justin Timberlake as host and Lady Gaga as musical guest. Here's the episode's soon-to-be infamous Digital Short, featuring Timberlake and Sandberg reprising their "Dick in a Box"/"Motherlover" character roles in a new song about a ménage à trois with Gaga called "3-Way (The Golden Rule)." After all, "It's not gay when it's in a three way—with a honey in the middle there's some leeway."

In one of the latest examples of America's ongoing war on sidewalk freedom, the police in Mt. Airy, N.C. have started cracking down on out-of-control board game players. Even ex-cops who impersonate beloved characters from old-timey television shows aren't exempt from the rules.

Have you heard about Iceland's fun new volcanic eruption, a nine-mile plume of ash coming out of its most active volcano, Grímsvötn? Let us guide you with a helpful volcano FAQ!

Presiding over a legislative session is hard, as Vice speaker of the Ukrainian parliament Adam Martynyuk can tell you. What do you do if some keeps bugging you and asking to speak, the way his deputy Oleg Lyashko was doing last week? As Martynyuk shows, sometimes a nice smooth death grip is the only thing that really communicates the procedural rules. [via Boing Boing]

Did Renee Deshaies of Mesa, Arizona enter a local Dairy Queen and "threaten" employees with the grenade she supposedly found lying around in a park? Or did she just "show" the grenade, as if to say, "Whoa look, grenade! Weird. Anybody know what I should do with this?"

Apple-y thoughts apparently inhabit the same part of the brain of Apple fanatics as religious thoughts do in religious folks. Scientists using MRI scanners to see what parts of the brain "lit up" as volunteers viewed Apple imagery found that radical fanboyism is close to a religion in the minds of the afflicted.

Why has Iran suffered through so many droughts over the last few years? Many people would say "weather patterns, or whatever." But Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad knows the truth! "Western countries have designed plans to cause drought in certain areas of the world," he said in a speech in the Iranian city of Arak. And not only that! "European countries are using special equipment to force clouds to dump" rain on their own countries.

You keep nodding off at your desk. Coffee's just not getting the job done, and you don't feel like guzzling down energy drinks. What to do? Here are a few tricks to wake yourself up naturally. [Lifehacker]

The underdog at the top put on his special rapture glasses and announced his campaign bid to 10,000—or was it 15,000?—of his closest friends in Atlanta, spreading the message of "shucky ducky" and showering the crowd with love. He also says he's that he's not running for "second," but fourth.

Ten-year-old Dugan Smith was diagnosed with a rare kind of cancer in his thigh bone, leaving him with a softball-sized tumor. Usually, similar patients have their legs partially amputated and are given cadaver or prosthetic thigh bones. But Dugan wanted to keep playing baseball.

When you hear nasty gossip about somebody, it changes the way your brain responds to that person's face. A study reveals that, given a choice, people will stare longer at the faces of people they've heard bad things about. [io9]

Happy Rapture, everyone! Are you still here? We're making a list of everything that has been taken to Heaven to kick it with Jesus, and we need your help.