Just kidding! Obviously there are many, many, many more lies. But a video released yesterday of Breitbart yucking it up with the folks at Opie and Anthony while passing around a photo of Anthony Weiner's cock—a rather cavalier little party trick that resulted in a photo-of-a-photo-of-a-photo of the cock shot seen 'round the world making its way on to Twitter and this here web site—exposes three. Let's take them in turn:

Najwa Bin Laden, Osama's first wife, said the favorite part of her day was "the sleeping time." And it wasn't because her days were so miserable; it was because bedtime was when she had her husband all to herself. [Jezebel]

In this corner, the amorphous blob of Wikileaks-loving nerds: Anonymous! And in this corner, the sometimes-relevant intergovernmental military alliance NATO! NATO wants to kill Anonymous, but Anonymous says back off.

The New York Post managed to corner penis guy Anthony Weiner on the sidewalk today!

MTV's newest series Teen Wolf has all sorts of appealing qualities that one looks for in good TV: moody drama, beautiful cinematic photography, hot teen wolf-boys fighting hot teen athletes, you know, that sort of thing. Because seriously, do you really need an excuse to watch a bunch of boys sprout hair in weird places, tackle each other and agonize over the trials of what it's like to be different?

After six months of trying to sell itself, animated GIF emporium MySpace has exactly one potential buyer, who only wants to buy part of MySpace, and at a very steep discount. This is getting rather pathetic.

In your scorching Thursday media column: the NYT and WaPo get into crowdsourcing, Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck are unpopular, Ann Curry gets her own era, and a notable takedown.

Several outlets are reporting that most of Newt Gingrich's senior staffers for his presidential campaign have abruptly quit en masse. This appears to be what Beltway insiders call a "hilarious total implosion."

Next Thursday evening, June 16, Gawker is hosting a screening of Page One, Andrew Rossi's new documentary chronicling a year in the life of the New York Times media desk, on our roof deck. And we have an extra pair of tickets, just for you!

Watching Ann Coulter antagonize black people and 9/11 widows is, at this point, pretty boring. Watching Ann Coulter answer questions about her age, though? Strangely thrilling. Here's Piers Morgan quizzing the razor-boned pipe cleaner about the time she dropped two years from her age.

Elaine Davidson, the world's most pierced woman, got married yesterday in Edinburgh to Douglas Watson, a balding retired civil servant. God knows how this odd couple found each other, but isn't love grand? Let's take a closer look at her outfit.

You know what the problem is with the ocean? It's not overfishing, or global warming, or oil spills: It's branding. So you're an ocean? Who cares? You gotta sell it to us. You gotta have a powerful brand—a mascot. And that mascot has to be the giant squid.

Remember when Sarah Palin went on a bus tour into the Yankee North all last week? It was the other major political story of last week, the one that wasn't cockcockcock. Fortunately Sarah Palin has released an unusually well produced home video recapping the sights and stops of her trip, ensuring that future peoples will never forget about the 2011 Tour de Grift.

As June creeps on, school kids across the nation are getting released from the crumbling prisons that are America's schools and being sent off to life-guarding jobs, coal mines, or, if they're lucky, sleepaway camp. Not one of those lucky kids? Well here are some movies to watch that will make it feel almost like you're there.

Has Anthony Weiner's horrendous experience with Twitter prompted other members of Congress to post fewer illiterate riffs than usual to their own Twitter accounts? Top number-crunchers are looking into this. And the early stats of congressional tweet volume following Weiner's accidental cock missive suggest that... perhaps?

An ice cream shop in Missouri has been asked to stop making cicada ice cream after the health department found out about it. It wasn't such a big concern for the store, though, since Sparky's Homemade Ice Cream sold out of its only batch of the nasty stuff the day it debuted.

Video of a mutant bunny born near Japan's quake-ravaged Fukushima power plant has gone viral. The bunny, which was born without ears, might be evidence of radioactive contamination, which may someday render the entire population of Japan microtic-anotic! Unless, of course, it's just a random birth defect. Every credible scientist in the world is leaning strongly toward the latter. Crazy people, however, are leaning toward the former, so the mutant bunny will probably be on the evening news tonight.

Not to be outdone by the National Archives, which is releasing a redacted version of the Pentagon Papers 40 years after they were actually published, the National Security Agency today declassified a book on cryptology that was published in 1809, during the presidency of James Madison. If it had been leaked before the NSA was ready, we totally would have lost the War of 1812.

Trouble, the canine companion of embattled hotel magnate Leona Helmsley, has died at age 12. Trouble inherited $2 million (a judged decreased the award from the $12 million stipulated in Helmsley's will) when the infamous tax evader died in 2007. Trouble's remaining fortune will be diverted to the The Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Charitable Trust, and not to Helmsley's two grandchildren who she cut out of her will. His name wasn't Trouble for nothing!

Mitt Romney was a bad Republican last week. We'll tell you what he did, but first, send your children into the other room. Ready? He gave a big old bear hug to Science, by casually acknowledging that climate change may exist and humans may play some role in that. This is a calamitous "gaffe," and now everyone else in the GOP is trying to destroy him anew.