During the nine months I've lived in Canada, I've abandoned my image of Canadians as a bunch of northern Minnesotans with their pinkies extended, single-payer health care and Queen Elizabeth's plump mugshot on every single coin in their snap-purses. [Deadspin]

Workers at the Target store in Valley Stream, N.Y. voted against joining the United Food and Commercial Workers on Friday, 137-85. Had the measure passed, the Valley Stream location would have been the first Target in the U.S. to be unionized.

Katherine M. Casarez apparently has some sort of "issue" with her former lovahhh. When the ex called her up early Friday morning in search of some of her special sexual stylings, she allegedly dressed up in her ninja suit and went over to his place—but not alone (dun dun dun).

Bristol Palin reveals Levi Johnston's seduction technique. Mel Gibson has a new, goth girlfriend. Tracy Morgan is meeting with homeless gay teens. Saturday gossip is the goodness angel of the world.

CBC tracked down the couple in the now-famous photo of two people apparently making out in the middle of Wednesday night's hockey riots in Vancouver. They were not, as it turns out, making out. But neither was the photo staged for the camera!

Today we watched a promo for Keith Olbermann's new show in which he talks about media bias and whatnot. So he's sort of a windbag! But maybe he's kinda right? One commenter agreed.

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This morning in Evanston, Illinois, Northwestern University's 2,800 graduating students gathered for commencement. On hand to give the commencement address? None other than alum Stephen Colbert of the class of '86, who delivered an uproarious 20-minute speech which squeezed in references to campus controversies like "Brothelgate" and a professor's infamous sex demonstration. It's embedded above for your enjoyment.

Crystal Harris continued her Runaway Bride press tour last night on Entertainment Tonight; it was her first television interview since announcing earlier this week that she would not marry Hugh Hefner as planned on Saturday. [Jezebel]

Another superhero comes crashing into the multiplexes this weekend, but he's not the only game in town. Also debuting are a horse whisperer, a struggling major newspaper, and a whole bunch of penguins.

Today was the day chosen by women across Saudi Arabia to protest the world's only gender-specific driving ban. Dozens have shot photos and videos while driving, and so far there's been little reaction from authorities. [Jalopnik]

Mercury planet! Rat memories! Gray hair! Cosmic blast! Killer lipids! Mind engagement! Cuban seas! Model blimps! And the real reason that women be squeakin! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—salaciously!

Barack Obama, who spends all his time golfing and laughing while unemployed white people beg him for help that never comes, has somehow dragged hard-working Speaker John Boehner into his licentious hobby: The two men will golf each other tomorrow.

Bitcoin, the virtual currency that has sparked a digital gold rush, is now being targeted by malicious nerds seeking a quick payday. A new Trojan automatically scans for Bitcoins and steals them.

In your bilious Friday media column: World Net Daily takes a stand for crazydom, the Page One movie dissected by everyone everywhere, Keith Olbermann's show has at least one redeeming factor, and TV advertising will never die.

You can't really predict where you're going to be when an earthquake hits, but when a 6.3 quake rumbled New Zealand on Monday, the people in this hardware store were stuck scrambling from falling tools and machines.

While the "We left our spouses for each other" New York Times "Vows" column was certainly a doozy, this new one, about the June 4th wedding of Andrea Catsimatidis and Christopher Cox, might be even worse.

Unemployment is falling in half the country, but not the most important half: Wall Street. There, the beleaguered derivative-shufflers are facing a third straight month of rising unemployment. Literally thousands of former bankers are now wandering our city's streets, driftless. How will they adjust to life in the post-banker world?

These 14 sexual harassment "defenses," culled from the deepest, darkest corners of Google's archives, don't always win over the hearts and minds of juries, but they do succeed in causing nausea, outrage, and hives. [Jezebel]

Last night was the first time in recent memory that the Real Butthumblers of New York was about actual financial bankruptcy and not bankruptcy of the spiritual or moral variety. There was some of that too, but, you know, there was some real poverty too. Oh, and everyone had lots of nasty sex.