Lady Gaga obsesses about her body. Megan Fox obsesses about her forehead. Ryan Phillippe's baby mama gives birth. Justin Timberlake's mom walked in on him having sex. Taylor Momsen starts a teen girl sex riot. TGIFriday gossip.

Everyone's favorite New York Post sex monster Andrea Peyser has once again dipped her pen in sexy red ink and written a hot-blooded crime noir about the acquittal of "tot mom" Casey Anthony. It's dark, folks. Our usual chronicler of Ms. Peyser's Zane-like tone poems is out today, so I think it best to just let Ms. Peyser speak for herself.

This music man skipped out on his $6K-a-month rent. This actor makes crazy demands of his wife. And this actress' baby daddy doesn't want her to take any maternity leave. Can't it be his turn to pay the rent for awhile?

Here's an 800-word story about how the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge offended all of Canada:

Andy Coulson, the former editor of Rupert Murdoch's News of the World and British PM David Cameron's former director of communications, turned himself in to police in London today over the growing phone-hacking scandal. A statement from the Metropolitan Police reads, in part:

It's a sad day for all Italians. Wax figure Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi says he won't seek another term in 2013, but instead with act as a "patron" to his successor, Justice Minister Angelino Alfano, which should really help Alfano's case. And, at 77, Berlusconi can finally begin to focus on his private life.

On Monday, it seemed that the bad boy of competitive eating, former world champion Takeru Kobayashi had unofficially reclaimed his crown as the world's greatest eater of hot dogs when he bested nemesis Joey Chestnut at an alternate event in Manhattan. But video of Kobayashi's event proves otherwise.

Link is the strong, but silent type. Really, really silent. Like, he doesn't talk. Sometimes that's a good thing, because he's not blabbering on about stupid thing. Sometimes, it's really bad.

A man attending a Texas Rangers game at Rangers Ballpark with his young son died tragically Thursday night, after tumbling 20 feet, head-first, trying to catch a foul ball tossed to him by Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton. The man, identified as Shannon Stone — an 18-year veteran of a local fire department — was still conscious as he was carried away by stretcher.

The Hollywood Reporter has an interview with Nancy Grace, the fiery legal commenter who has seen some ratings success hosting shows like Casey Anthony Right Now, Target: Casey Anthony, The Casey Anthony Report and Casey Anthony: The Devil in 3D on CAC: the Casey Anthony Channel. (Check your cable listings.) But for those of you who feel she may have, say, crossed an invisible ethical line by exploiting this one case ad nauseam for her own personal and financial gains, make no mistake: She absolutely did. But she says she didn't.

Prince William and Princess Kate touched down in Calgary, Canada to attend a rodeo on Thursday. That's when royal watchers waiting to greet the couple at the airport were treated to an unexpected surprise as a gust of wind lifted up the back of Middleton's dress, exposing her underwear. Is this the most sordid scandal to rock Wills and Kate since the couple tied the knot two months ago? It just might be! [Images via Bauer-Griffin, click photo to expand]

Police have arrested the Picasso Doodle Bandit — who walked into a San Francisco gallery over the July 4th weekend, and walked out with a $200,000 work of art — and surprise! He's from New York. The work has been returned to its rightful owner, and has been unharmed.

The very last Space Shuttle launch is scheduled for this weekend. To those responsible for watching every detail, what seems like a quick thing is more like an eternity. NASA engineer George Hatcher describes those final moments. [Jalopnik]

A 21-year-old woman from Boulder is currently in police custody for having allegedly blown heroin smoke on her boyfriend's cat, Muffin, until it succumbed to a massive overdose.

A tipster called our attention to Etsy, where people are letting off some steam about the Casey Anthony trial in the form of crafting. Does the world really need a series of Casey Anthony bumper stickers, t-shirts, and necklaces? [Jezebel]

Here's a trailer for The Undefeated, the ironically named new "documentary" about Sarah Palin and her quest for world domination. The trailer is as exaggerated as Palin's talking points. Add in the fact that it's a piece of Palin-commissioned propaganda disguised as a political documentary, and the whole thing becomes even more ridiculous. [via Breitbart.tv]

The country's top internet providers have reached a deal with Hollywood and the music industry that would require them to identify, then warn, and eventually punish illegal downloaders. The new process, announced Thursday, would identify customers suspected of digital copyright infringement, then issue a series of six warnings, each promising "progressively harsher consequences if the initial cautions were ignored," writes the Times. At the sixth and final warning, the ED-209 from RoboCop stomps into your bedroom going, "Please stop your download. You have 20 seconds to comply," then malfunctions spectacularly, spraying brains and guts across a monitor tracking the progress of your torrented copy of the new Beyoncé album. Amazingly, it still won't do anything to discourage piracy. [NYT, photo via Shutterstock]

Here's the brand new music video for Beyonce's latest single, "Best Thing I Never Had." A stark contrast from her over-the-top video for "Run The World (Girls)," the new effort features a lingerie-clad Beyonce on her wedding day congratulating herself for the decision to dump her cheating ex, thereby making room for her new husband-to-be. She's pretty, she sounds great, and she's marrying the man of her dreams. How bad can that be?

We all know how banks screwed us over royally in the macro sense of the term, but it's nice to know that they still take out the time to deliver the shaft to their customers on an individual basis.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg is totally down with the gays. (The "R" is for "RAWR!") And what better way to put his money where his mouth is than to dance shirtless on a speaker at the Once Upon a Pines Party? But he isn't doing that. But he is marrying two of his top gay advisers on July 24. It's the same-sex marriage equivalent of throwing the ceremonial first pitch on opening day!