Kansas Sen. Pat Roberts thought it would be a good — again, that's good — idea yesterday to ramble for 10+ minutes yesterday on the Senate floor about his fantasy game of basketball with President Obama, during which they would discuss policy. This is the only way to get the president's attention, he larfed. Hehe, yesiree. What?
As politicians debate the debt ceiling in Washington D.C., a far more insidious menace haunts neighboring Virginia: A serial butt stabber.
Likely presidential candidate Rick Perry, governor of Texas, hurt the Christian conservatives' feelings last week when he said about gay marriage in New York, "That's New York, and that's their business, and that's fine with me. That is their call. If you believe in the 10th Amendment, stay out of their business." That was courageous of him! But now it's all over, and he suddenly supports a federal marriage amendment.
Watch out, residents of Pocatello, Idaho! A "suspicious man" driving a "tan/brown van" was seen at the local park, "taking pictures of children." Is he a pedophile? A murderer? A Satanist sex perv? He "ran off" when confronted by parents!
In your mercenary Thursday media column: Fortune this round from Forbes, layoffs at the LA Times, a BBC reporter is killed, the NYT turns to Groupon, Al Sharpton is pushing it, and new journalism grows from the cracks.
Because it loses tons of money, Groupon is promoting its IPO using an inflated income number that excludes marketing and customer acquisition costs. Why would you do that? Well, that's exactly what the SEC is now asking.
John C. Favalora is a sallow old man who looks like the corpse of Dom DeLuise. He likes attractive young men to sit on his lap and allegedly treats them to trips in the Florida Keys. He was, until recently, part owner of a company that makes "all natural" boner-inducing beverages. He's also the Archbishop Emeritus of Miami.
Here's a trailer for Tower Heist, the star-studded Brett Ratner (shudder) comedy about a bunch of apartment building employees who decide to rob the place's swindling, Bernie Madoff-esque richest tenant. Timely!
Facebook's absurdly prude content standards sparked another twisted saga this week when the company censored, then promptly un-censored, the iconic cover of Nirvana's Nevermind. Facebook welcomes all your (non-sexual) baby penises!
Here, published for the first time, are excerpts from "Miami Vice: A Preliminary Report on the Financial, Spiritual, and Sexual Improprieties of the Clergy of the Miami Archdiocese." The report, which lays out in clinical investigative detail the extent to which the Archdiocese of Miami had become a hotbed of gay sex and corruption under the administration of Archbishop John C. Favalora, was produced by a group of frustrated conservative Miami Catholics who call themselves Christifidelis. The full report numbers more than 400 pages; we have published a 109-page selection from its nine chapters and four appendices. In cases where we could not substantiate its claims about particular individuals, we have redacted information to render them unidentifiable.
Are you familiar with freshman Republican Rep. Joe Walsh? No? That's okay! Just turn on any cable news channel at any time. He'll be there. Producers love to book him, and he loves to be booked. His politics can best be described as anti-any-compromise-ever, and he is rude. Another interesting thing about Joe Walsh is that his ex-wife is suing him for $117,437 in unpaid child support.
News of the World, the Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid shut down last month over allegations of extensive illegal story-gathering practices, is now accused of hacking the voicemail of the mother of a murdered eight-year-old—on a phone that the paper's editor Rebekah Brooks gave her as a gift.
What our fragile economy needs is a white-hot IPO of a famous but mundane consumer food brand! Well it is our lucky day, fellow unfortunate members of the US economy: mediocre donuts are here to save us—again!
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) is cautiously optimistic that enough GOP members had fallen in line over the last 48 hours to pass his debt bill. The plan would cut nearly $917 billion in spending over the next ten years, raise the debt-ceiling by $900 billion and avoid sending the nation into default.
South Korean officials say that Chinese hackers stole the personal information of 35 million users of the Korean social networking site Cyworld. This is pretty crazy, considering South Korea's population is about 48 million. So basically everyone with an internet connection in South Korea was hacked.
Tot Mom was caught drinking a beer the day she was released from prison, and there's video to prove it. Also today: Rumors of Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio's demise are greatly exaggerated and Olivia Wilde packs 'em on.
Taunting police on Facebook when they're out searching for you is, admittedly, pretty funny. But if you're going to do it, it's important that you not get caught. Otherwise you end up like recently-apprehended fugitive Victor Burgos: In jail, and looking really dumb.
