The New York Times knows god damn well that nothing so effectively enrages its less-affluent readers and engages its more affluent readers in a single stroke than a story about some stupid summer camp for rich kids. Because the regular middle class people are like "That is so stupid and gauche and decadent and outrageous, my Aiden doesn't need any 'camp' except a fire hydrant. I am fwding this article to EVERYONE, for anger's sake," and the rich parents are like "Hmm, is my Ayden losing the Niche-est Camp Competition this year?" Hey, fashion camp!

If anyone's been put down by society for far too long — besides young white males — it's the straights, of course. That's precisely why members of Sao Paulo, Brazil's city council have adopted legislation to create Heterosexual Pride Day.

Actress and noted hostage-taker Faye Dunaway says she can't be evicted from her rent-stabilized Manhattan apartment because she doesn't even live there. Dunaway claims that her slumlord "refused to paint the house, and bugs were everywhere." Rich people. [NYT]

Federal agents are once again busy cleaning up the streets of Venice, California. No, they're not taking out sophisticated cocaine smuggling operations or prostitution rings. They're dismantling an underground syndicate of raw milk pushers and connoisseurs that operate under a front called Rawesome Foods.

What's worse than going to a rave? Watching a rave in a movie theater, that's what. But even if you felt like spending your Thursday evening in a theater watching people on drugs dance around, it's no longer an option for many. The repercussions from last week's riot in Los Angeles that shut down the premiere of the Electric Daisy Carnival Experience are being felt across the country now, after theaters cancelled more than 500 one-night-only screenings of the film.

Architectural Digest has photos of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's 25,000-square-foot "adobe-style residence" in Malibu. From the outside, it looks like something Tatooine's version of Donald Trump would build for himself. Inside, it's an airier version of Will's trailer.

After he plowed his Jeep into a condo's garage by mistakenly flooring it in reverse, Gordon Flavia, a 57-year-old man from Longview, Washington, found that he'd driven clear into a makeshift bathroom containing a portable toilet. He then "doused himself with a bucket of liquid human waste" and hid inside the Porta Potty. Police found him there, soaking wet.

"It" girl of the moment Emma Stone stopped by the Late Show tonight to chat with David Letterman and promote her upcoming film, The Help. While we're sure Letterman had only the best of intentions, we couldn't help but feel creeped out by his fixation on Stone's voice, eyes and hair. And if the above video is any indication, she seemed a bit uncomfortable, as well. Easy, Dave!

Baggy-eyed, battered and desperately in need of a cigarette, President Barack Obama limped across the birthday finish line today, making it to a round half-century: Our Commander-in-Chief is now 50 years old.

Praise Frosty! That's the name of the 73-year-old man who had a priceless portrait of Jesus Christ sitting in the closet of his Tennessee motor home.

On Monday, the Department of Health and Human Services announced that health insurance companies must fully cover birth control for women beginning next August. Which is great! But on tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert—aided by a couple of conservative loons—pointed out the dangers of such a mandate. A clip of the segment is above.

During a concert in Belo Horizonte, Brazil on Tuesday, Avril Lavigne was about to begin a cover of Coldplay's "Fix You" when a rogue superfan approached her after gaining access to the stage. Lavigne's security team acted quickly to remove the assailant, but not before she let out a fearful shriek, as you'll see in the video above. [via ONTD]

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart briefly celebrated the fact that, despite the fight it took to get there, Congress finally reached a deal to raise the nation's debt ceiling. But then Stewart noted just how little the deal will actually reduce the deficit, at which point he gave the "spoiled children" in Congress a piece of his mind.

Check out these great cold war-era photos of some totally normal East German citizens, who are definitely not members of the secret police! How innocuous they are, these completely non-suspicious-looking gentlemen, who could not possibly be Stasi officers in disguise, especially not the fellow in sunglasses and the enormous fur coat with the upturned collar. Nope, just some regular guys.

After taking us through New York City's labyrinth of underground tunnels and sewers, "urban explorer" Steve Duncan is back with a new video featuring his trek through the abandoned half of a subway track along Spring Street in Nolita (which just so happens to be right below Gawker's offices). Watch Duncan's exploration in the video above. [via Gothamist]

Scientists have long puzzled over the odd shape of the Moon: One side is "dominated by low-lying lava plains" while the other is "composed of highlands." But we may finally know why! Because the moon is a murderer.

The "collar bomb" fastened to the neck of 18-year-old Madeleine Pulver by a "masked man" on Wednesday afternoon was not, in fact, a bomb—though authorities were forced to treat it as real until they got it off her neck ten hours later.

Today we heard the relieving news that the Central Park peacock is back where he belongs. Everyone was happy about that! Well, OK, not everyone. Some lesser birds were pretty pissed off.

British police seized some 1.3 tons of cocaine from a yacht named "Louise"—the largest coke haul in the country's history, and enough to last Prince Harry through at least 2017.

After advocating the end of anonymity, Randi Zuckerberg slipped a bit further into it, leaving her job at Facebook. Let's hope her stock options were vested. Also in today's Valleywag roundup, more Airbnb complaints from readers, Yahoo Mail went down, and Ashton Kutcher was shown up on Twitter.