Monday got you feeling down? Here's some natural, ultra-refreshing schadenfreude to perk you up: That overpriced coconut water your health-nut friends have been chugging is basically just gross-tasting sugar water.
Bros, I know you've been frustrated about the ladies not giving you any action. Ladies, I know you've been frustrated about dudes being pigs. Let's just kill two birds with one stone, sexually, yes?
One good (bad? Who knows, really?) consequence of the impending re-collapse of the world's financial markets: gold prices have risen so high—$1,715 per ounce, at the moment—that gold is now virtually the same price as platinum. A wee bit more expensive, even! All rappers will now be required to trade in their platinum chains for gold ones. Wearing a platinum chain is now as wack as wearing a silver chain was, last week.
Think of a truly horrible way to die, and then think about this: A 51-year-old airplane maintenance worker in New Zealand was performing "a very routine procedure" on a a C-130 Hercules when he was sucked into the engine and killed. The propellers were not attached and the engine was on a stand at the time. The man, Miles Hunter, worked for a subsidiary of Air New Zealand, according to ONE News.
Cathay Pacific airlines says it is investigating two leaked pictures (NSFW) that allegedly show a stewardess giving a pilot a blow job in the cockpit of one of its planes. The pictures first appeared in Chinese-language newspapers late last week. An airline spokeswoman said in a statement, "We are conducting a full investigation into the matter and there are some indications that the female shown in the photos may be a member of our cabin crew." And it sounds like the pictures could be legit. From AFP:
Here's a New York Post EXCLUSIVE that will shock you: An Upper East Side mom named Elissa Drassinower was banned from Fairway Market for accidentally walking out of the store without paying for a half-gallon of milk and some beer. It appears that she put the items underneath her baby carriage because the "handbasket was getting so heavy." She forgot to pay for the beverages and walked out of the store, leading a guard to accuse her of shoplifting. Drassinower was then slapped with a lifetime ban from the store. And that's not all! A security guard even took her picture.
Because nobody should be forced to endure an entire 30 minutes of America's most overexposed family every Sunday night, I'll be watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians for you and reporting back with a clip of each episode's most cringeworthy 15 or so seconds.
Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. From Jennifer Lopez in Cancun to the Glee cast in Los Angeles to Lady Gaga and Emma Stone in New York, here are some of the more amusing shots from the past week.
Not long ago, the pot-smoking, hot dog-hating 33 rescued Chilean miners were national heroes. And rightfully so — they spent 69 days underground, not knowing if they'd make it out alive. But on Friday, as the miners inaugurated a museum and attended mass with Chile's president, protesters greeted them with rocks and fruit, according to the AP.
Every year 2,100 American men are diagnosed with breast cancer, which obviously means that breast cancer is not a "woman's disease." Yet the federal government still treats it as such, as Raymond Johnson—an official Man With Breast Cancer—can tell you.
Congresswoman and Republican presidential candidate/shoo-in Michele Bachmann's made the cover of the latest Cosmo Newsweek—an honor that comes with a new if not entirely original nickname ("the Queen of Rage") and complimentary #QueenOfRage Twitter hashtag. Too bad the photographer startled her like that, eh?
