Remember Katherine Chloé Cahoon, the nation's foremost authority on how to meet European men? Well she is back! And she's brought some friends with her.

The interest in late screen legend Elizabeth Taylor's sparkling hoard of diamonds, rubies, and every other precious stone known to man was renewed today when Christie's announced it would be selling all 300 items (estimated to be worth $30 million) in December. Here are some of the highlights, so you can pick out which of the pieces you'd like to bid on.

The legacy of Qaddafi's Libya keeps getting weirder. The new president of Tripoli's prestigious Fateh University recently discovered a mysterious subterranean complex under Green Theater, a center for studying Qaddafi's political manifesto the Green Book. The complex contains a bedroom, jacuzzis, mood lighting… and a fully equipped gynecological operating theater with klieg lights and an observation deck. So that's, uh, creepy. Take it away, horrified new university president:

Nobody wants Sarah Palin to run for president, except for every Democratic political operative and a persistent twenty-ish percent of the Republican electorate who only want her. Of course, she probably won't. But Republican pundits really want her to clarify that decision soon, if only to silence her supremely irritating fans.

After last month's wild stock market fluctuations, Americans are all hoping that the various investment indexes calm down and return to a modest, steady climb. Right? Hahaha, no. Americans are all hoping to scrounge a nickel's worth of aluminum cans.

An attack on a company that certifies secure websites has forced the Dutch government to abandon email for faxes and snail mail. How long before frustrated citizens take to the streets and smash windows with postal scales and rolls of thermal paper?

Still reeling from a debilitating $6 per month price increase, Netflix customers have a new policy to get all bitchy about: The video service now limits how many steams you can watch at once. Cue the entitlement!

Pile on in gang, because this week we have another little game for you. Playing is easy, but the stakes are high, so welcome to another round of Would You Rather—brought to you by the folks at State Farm.

Here's a trailer for The Big Year, a bird-watching comedy that's not really about bird-watching, if you know what I mean.

Madonna takes a passive-aggressive swipe at Lady Gaga. Ryan Gosling makes out with Eva Mendes. Jake Gyllenhaal snuggles a Twilight star. A wild man breaks into Celine Dion's home and pillages for pastries. Wednesday gossip is mad for madeleines, moonstruck for doughnuts, cuckoo for choux.

What was Arkansas NBC affiliate KARK weatherman Brett Cummins up to last Sunday night? Oh just drinking and "snorting drugs" and passing out and waking up in a bathtub next to a dead guy. You?

This acting duo is having a hard time finding drugs on their recent press tour. This rock star is a germaphobe, and this actress thought she met the real Michael Jackson when it was just an impersonator. What, is she on drugs?

Today's the day that companies and celebrities can keep their name from being registered as one those new .XXX porn-specific domain names. If they pay $150-$300 they can protect their name from skeezy domain-squatters. Get to it, celebs and corporations. No doubt some well-read porn magnate has his eye on NewYorker.xxx right now.

While you were sitting around in your air-conditioned apartment sending free "e-mails" and watching pornography, our nation's letter carriers were coming to the realization that they may soon be completely defunct.

Food conglomerate ConAgra, maker of all remaining food, hired the PR firm Ketchum for a fun promotional stunt: it would invite a bunch of food bloggers to a fancy dinner at an Italian restaurant, then reveal that they'd actually been served frozen ConAgra food-like products instead of real food. Mirth and delight would ensue! Alas, ConAgra and Ketchum should have watched the old Chris Farley skit more closely.

Fugitive ex-dictator Muammar Qaddafi is most definitely probably surrounded in a 40-mile-radius spot somewhere in the Sahara, Libya's new military council told the AP today. "He can't get out," a spokesman said.

Taser International, producer of the greatest non-lethal law enforcement tool known to man, is rapidly expanding its empire to include a new video surveillance system called Axon that records response calls by law enforcement. This should help with court cases when cops are unfairly accused of brutality. But you know what's totally unfair? All of these negative, sensational stories about tasers. This constant negativity is overshadowing the great contributions that tasers have made to society over the years. According to Taser International CEO Rick Smith, who spoke with Fortune about the company's rebranding efforts, stories about taser-related deaths and such are totally unfair:

Scotland Yard arrested a 35-year-old man early this morning in connection with Rupert Murdoch's phone-hacking scandal, and this time they raided the guy's house instead of an arrest by appointment. Great! But Piers Morgan remains on the loose.

Washington, DC transit officials launched an investigation on Tuesday after learning of a video that appears to show a Metrobus driver forcibly throwing a passenger off a bus and straight to the ground. A Metro spokesman called the driver's actions "completely unacceptable" and noted that "appropriate action" would be taken against him just as soon as they figure out who the hell he is. Because they don't know.

After being sent packing by his freedom-fighting Libyan soul brothers, UCLA math major Chris Jeon — seen in this video surrounded by slack-jawed Arab Springmates — is out of harm's way and heading back to the U.S. This according to a tweet from The National's Bradley Hope: