The CIA is having trouble keeping its secret agents off the internet. First, it allowed the White House to publish a photograph of the man behind the operation to kill Osama bin Laden. And now the identity of the woman who runs its "Global Jihad Unit"—and who has a long (if pseudonymous) history of being associated with some of the agency's most disastrous boondoggles—has been published online by two documentary filmmakers who sussed it out with the help of some "savvy internet research."

People are always getting upset about things and boycotting products and usually it's very dumb. There are two cases in point today: First, a conservative group wants Ben & Jerry's limited-edition "Schweddy Balls" ice cream boycotted, and then Glenn Beck is against revolutionary jeans.

Rep. Michele Bachmann has had all sorts of fun adventures on the presidential campaign trail, whether it's by introducing herself to likely voter babies, playing with heavy machinery, or gazing down long rows of hanging animal carcasses. When will she finish losing this race already?

The season opener of Glee might have been a vast improvement over season two, but even childhood touchstone Sesame Street did a light parody of the show. Puppets can be so cruel.

Get ready: All of your old Facebook stuff is getting spectacular new life. Facebook just announced a massive profile overhaul that dredges up your past status updates, wall posts and photos to create a massive "Timeline" of things you never wanted to remember in the first place.

In your throwback Thursday media column: WaPo reporters now required to learn about the "internet," UK tabloid journalists are unpopular, Walter Cronkite's nepotistic legacy, The Onion is leaving NYC, and Scotland Yard is coming for your video footage.

The Republican presidential candidates are debating tonight in Orlando, shining city of "corporate amusement parks"! Our hosts for the evening are Fox News and Google, who have planned all sorts of gimmicky social media bullshit to whiz by the candidates' faces throughout the evening. Which of these nine suckers will lose the most? Let us consider that, and other concerns.

Hewlett Packard, worst run tech company of the millennium, has found a solution to its long history of wasting obscene amounts of money: Install as CEO Meg Whitman, who spent a record breaking $43 per voter to lose the California gubernatorial election. Brilliant.

Have you heard of singer Lana Del Rey? Well, probably not, because she doesn't even have an officially released single yet, but the hipster music blogs are all abuzz about her. Her music is great, but they still hate her because she's not "authentic." But that's not the problem at all.

Last night Fox unveiled its latest brilliant, innovative idea: A vote-based singing competition judged by Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. Who are the TV wizards who come up with these ideas??

A 25-year-old from Syracuse has been charged with reckless endangerment and child endangerment for using cocaine while breast-feeding her 14-month-old baby. The New York Daily News reports:

Jennifer Lopez don't need no mans, no siree! The Gigli and Jersey Girl star is poised to purchase her second home on Long Island (the first she purchased in 2006 with then husband and El Cantante co-star, Marc Anthony). But it is a new dawn and a new day for J. Lo, and she needs a proper Hamptons hideaway to call her own.

The irradiated mealworms on Fox News' morning gab show Fox & Friends were talking about that free-falling satellite today and in doing so exposed a sad insecurity. They think we wish them ill!

For a brief period in the 90s—before 9/11, before the global economic collapse, before endless wars in the Middle East—it was fashionable to "care" about the environment. (You could still get laid wearing a World Wildlife Fund t-shirt, in other words.) Now? I mean, yeah, the environment... eh.

Lindsay Lohan is an Italian fashion plate. Emily Deschanel gives birth. Scarlett Johansson's late-night rendezvous with Timberlake. Bethenny Frankel's maritime rescuer thinks she's a jerk. Minka Kelly's butt gets slapped. Thursday gossip makes love to the camera.

This former reality star is trying to sell a story about having illicit threeways with the show's host. This singer is back on the drugs, and this married rocker spent a weekend hooking up with an old flame. Give that girl a reality show!

Yesterday Ben Bernanke and the Fed went ahead and spent hundreds of billions of dollars buying securities in a paltry attempt to do a teeny tiny bit to help stimulate the economy. Today: another stock market collapse. Ho hum.

Earlier this week, federal prosecutors unveiled a civil lawsuit against online poker giant Full Tilt Poker, alleging it was "not a legitimate poker company, but a global Ponzi Scheme." Full Tilt is now offering a powerful defense: "Ehhh, technically what happened was not a Ponzi Scheme, per se."

Here's the first full trailer for David Fincher's adaptation of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, the runaway airport-read sensation that, in its original Swedish, was called Men Who Hate Women. This trailer hints at why.

Fresh on the heels of the tenth anniversary of That Horrible and Fateful Day When Everything Changed, a new reason to Never Forget: an unidentified group of shadowy Arabs—or someone familiar with their secret communication codes—has managed to infiltrate our nation's commercial air system once again, and scrawl mysterious unknown gibberish terror messages on the underbelly of planes. Will these messages explode?