Lots of wacky things were said on stage at the Republican debate in Orlando this evening, but it was Rep. Michele Bachmann who earned herself the Complete Absence of Logic award when she advocated for a zero percent tax rate:
Republican presidential debate audiences, what with their cheering executions and telling the uninsured to just go and die already, sure are great, aren't they? At tonight's Fox News/Google debate in Florida, the crowd stuck with tradition by booing a gay soldier who'd asked about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal. Come for the booing, stay for Rick Santorum equating being gay to "sex."
Iranian President/huge Whitney fan Mahmoud Ahmadinejad provoked walkouts at an address to the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday. What was the big deal?
In July, a Brazilian hitman named Carlos Roberto de Jesus was paid a little over $500 by a jealous housewife to kill Iranildes Aguiar Araujo — another woman she suspected of having an affair with her husband. But Carlos broke Rule Number One of the Hitman's Handbook, the Daily Mail reports. He forgot to check his heart at the door.
German fashion label Hugo Boss issued a formal apology for that little blip on its resume — the one about them outfitting millions of Nazi soldiers. The acknowledgement comes on the clicked heels of a new book about the company, commissioned by Hugo Boss themselves in order to shed some light on the era.
Their lips still chapped from smooching Apple, the news media have discovered they must now suck up to Facebook, too. Just as Apple has the wildly popular iPad, Facebook has 800 million users, many of whom check it first thing in the morning in place of a newspaper. Which is why everyone today leapt to go to work in Mark Zuckerberg's money mill, and thanked him for the privilege.
Andy Samberg opened Facebook's F8 conference today, and thanks to YouTube you can now watch the Saturday Night Live cast member's slightly cutting impersonation of CEO Mark Zuckerberg. If Zuck pays a comedian to remind you he's awkward with girls, chloroforms competitors, and pushes users into fake friendships, will you maybe forgive him for getting rich off your private information? Please?
Unfortunately America's real national pastime will soon be gone. Also today: lots of people take cold helpings of Revenge, Roseanne Barr gets some bad news, and Charlize Theron gets brutal.
It's just not good enough to kill them, in Texas. Because following last night's execution of Lawrence Brewer, a white supremacist who killed a black man by dragging his body from the back of his pick-up truck and eventually severed his head, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice has decided to stop granting special "last meals" to those being executed. Brewer's meal, see, was over-the-top!
Can't say we've ever heard a comparison between Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and English wizard Harry Potter before. But it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? No, not really. But we thank old Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch for making it anyway!
Another couple of people suspected of being members of the hacking collectives Anonymous and LulzSec were picked up today. One was reportedly homeless, which brings up some interesting logistical questions.
Bedbug death! Brain collection! Obesity drug! Depression stroke! Lung cancer! Sexxxy kids! Soup disease! Killer cantaloupe! And young people who think they're pret-ty damn clever! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—before you're ready!
It's your lucky day, everyone: You have the opportunity to give Sarah Palin lots of money! And if you give her enough money she might just run for president. That's the deal. Do you, by any chance, feel like you might be getting played? Well stop feeling that way and hand over the fucking cash.
Facebook's co-founder CEO might be 11 years younger than Google's co-founder CEO, with a company half as old, but he's got about $2.4 billion on the guy. Mark Zuckerberg just became the country's richest person under 40.
