Life can be tough as a celebrity willing to go almost anywhere, with anyone, for money. How do you know if the guy who paid you six-figures to attend his birthday party in Chechnya is a bloodthirsty madman who tortures for sport? Looking that stuff up—and knowing whether to care about it—is hard. That's why two non-profits are teaming up to answer the question: Is the oligarch I'm privately entertaining for money a monster?

Some wacko has been spamming the internet with death threats against the Obamas, and various congressmen, and David Letterman. Google shows this guy's life must be largely spent on writing internet death threats.

As we speak, multimillionaire heiress Meghan McCain is occupying Wall Street and tweeting pictures from the trenches of wealth disparity. See that pile of garbage that separates her from the protesters? That's wealth disparity, materialized.

In your tragic Thursday media column: more info on the companywide layoffs at Village Voice Media, the NYT Co. makes money, a Washington Post heiress has a bright idea, The Economist screws up, and newspaper layoffs are back.

Last month, we started hearing scuttlebutt that Mark Zuckerberg was on the outs with sisters Randi and Arielle. So we approached today's New York Times profile of Randi Zuckerberg with a jaded eye. But we didn't have to read too closely between the lines to find the tension between Facebook's CEO and his older sibling.

Dennis Haskins, the 60-year-old actor who played fun-busting principal Mr. Belding on the unkillable cockroach of a kid's show Saved by the Bell, now makes his living doing nostalgia-laden personal appearances at tacky bars. Times are tough indeed.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, who only 13 days ago declared that he was "increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and the other cities across the country," appears to have transformed into a radical communist. He's now acknowledging that America's vast income inequality is potentially problematic. He'll flesh out his ideas in a speech tomorrow at that most suffering of institutions, the Wharton School of Business, where most of the people responsible for our income inequality crisis have picked up a degree or two.

Here's a twofer for Washington gossip types: video of Hillary Clinton reacting to an early report that Gaddafi had been captured, which she reads from a Blackberry while a heavily pregnant Huma Abedin hovers over her shoulder. Says the Secretary of State upon reading the news:

The second worst part of flying (after having to take your shoes off at security) is that everyone dresses like slobs. Not Vogue scarecrow-in-chief Anna Wintour. She changed twice for a six-hour flight from New York to L.A. yesterday and even got special treatment at the airport.

After having her bail revoked yesterday for shirking on probation requirements, wounded magpie Lindsay Lohan shirked again: She arrived two hours late for her first court-mandated community service session at the L.A. County Morgue, forcing the morgue to turn her away.

Here is an extremely graphic video that appears to show the capture of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi, wounded but alive.

Yesterday Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine sent out a Tweet saying "Dear Fox News, don't play our music on your evil fucking channel ever again. Thank you." Strong words! And now, finally, Fox News has maturely responded.

Billionaire Mayor Michael Bloomberg is sticking up for billionaire mogul Rupert Murdoch as shareholder activists try to depose the aging News Corp. chairman.

Lindsay Lohan's probation was revoked yesterday, but hey, did you see how pretty her teeth looked? She totally got them fixed since last time we saw them, when they were jacked.

Think of "fruits" and "vegetables" like parsley. Parsley is a vegetable. And here in America, we use fruit and vegetables the same way that we use parsley: as window dressing, as a little green thing that makes the real food (Cheez) look better.

A judge ruled today that prosecutors must release the name of the man who Tyler Clementi was having sex with when his roommate at Rutgers University, Dharun Ravi, broadcast their sexual activity over the internet.

In another disturbing confirmation that, yes, the rest of the world is watching, Afghan President Hamid Karzai appears to have caught that clip of Herman Cain dismissing "insignificant" countries like "Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan" as things that aren't worth learning about. He even got Hillary Clinton to bring it up during their latest meeting, to share a laugh. "That wasn't right, but anyway, that's how politics are," Karzai empathized.

Want to know how to get the world to care about the firing of the host of an Opera show? Fire her because of her participation in a popular social movement! Lisa Simeone, the host of NPR's World of Opera was fired for helping out Occupy Wall Street.

Someone saw ScarJo and Joseph Gordon-Levitt kissing. Shia LaBeouf got in a bar fight and threatened to pull a knife. Katherine Heigl's three-year-old can walk in stilettos. Cameron Diaz and Naomi Campbell go dancing. Thursday gossip swaps spit.

A new report from the New York Civil Liberties Union says that police in New York are "consistently misusing and overusing Tasers." The study of hundreds of taserings found that the majority of them "did not meet expert-recommended criteria;" that 15% were "clearly inappropriate" cases, such as shocking someone who was already handcuffed; and that only 15% of Tasering victims were armed when the police zapped them.