Seems that all the revolutionary goings-on in Libya have made North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il a bit nervous. He doesn't really want his people to get any funny ideas, like "oh shit—why do we obey this dude again? He's not even hot."
While Australian TV news journalist Alison Ariotti reports from "the frontlines" of Perth or whatever, a black car rams right into the back of a red car and ha, the person who owns the red car will probably be surprised when they watch the news, eh? Focused Alison doesn't let the crash interrupt her reporting in any discernible way—she just keeps on talking about "the impressive crowds" of English people who are doing something somewhere that maybe involves tombstones. "Curiosity made me want to turn around but professionalism told me to just keep talking," she says. [YouTube]
OHHHHHHH thank heavens, right? Finally, a real choice in this race. Floridian fameball (flameball) Dr. Terry "Burrrn Yr Koran" Jones announced Wednesday that he's tossing his mustache into this presidential race to right(-wing) the ship and "stop overspending." Other campaign goals: "Also saving us 400 billion dollars per year" (??), and "deport all illegals." Sounds like he's got Alabama and Arizona wrapped up.
The Book of Mormon is Broadway's hottest ticket, so it seemed fitting that the guys behind the show, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, would come up with a musical-themed episode of South Park this season. They did just that tonight with a story about how going to Broadway musicals encourages women to perform oral sex. Odd! But as you'll see in this clip of highlights, that was just the tip of the iceberg.
It's an unusually heavy monsoon season in Thailand, and the country is experiencing some of the worst, and longest flooding in memory. Nearly 2.5 million people have been affected, and more than 300 have died; public holidays have been declared throughout the country to give people time to move.
On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert focused on the so-called "War on Halloween" and the alternative that some Christian activists have been pushing called Jesus Ween, which involves people dressing up like Jesus and passing out Bibles in lieu of trick-or-treating. Colbert argued that Halloween and Jesus actually have a lot in common: "Think about it: Jesus rose from the dead. He's the original zombie, except you eat His body."
"What's Ohio like?" you might ask, for some reason. Well, this is what it's like: "Authorities in Bainbridge say that a drunken woman, who was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, a g-string and high heels [Actually, tennis shoes — Ed.], led them on a high speed chase along Route 422 prior to her arrest."
When the Occupy Wall Street movement began spreading across the U.S., one of its biggest satellite protests took root in Oakland. But after two weeks of peaceful interactions with the city, Occupy Oakland protesters sparred with gas canister-firing police yesterday, leaving an Iraq War veteran in critical condition with a head injury. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart echoed the views of many when he questioned Oakland's handling of the situation.
How many times have you come across a life-sized standee in a movie theater lobby or department store, and not thought to yourself, "If only our ass-backwards society didn't disapprove of inter-dimensional dating, this cardboard cutout of Nikita and I could probably be pretty happy together." Well, Charlie J. Price of Pittsfield, Ma., doesn't abide by musty precepts like "social mores" or "not licking cardboard ladies in public."
As the Starbucks menu continues to grow and diversify, one item that millions of Americans crave even harder than bucket-sized portions of caffeine — prescription opioids — still remains frustratingly out of reach. Unless, that is, you happened to stop into a Starbucks where one Dr. Feelgood was allegedly doling out OxyContin, Vicodin, Xanax, Adderall and Suboxone to customers he barely knew.
When you stop to consider the sheer amount of ink spilled over one oddly placed cigarette drag, one shudders to think what the Herman Cain parsers would make of this: In "He Carried Yellow Flowers" — a Western that feels like a porn conceived after a four-day meth binge, minus the sex scenes — movie star "Nick Searcy" (he's big in Guam) punches an African-American liberal in the face, then steps off the set to address us on why we should vote for Cain. Then the creepy smiling Cain pops in, just to remind us of who the crackpot is who endorsed this message. It's not just that it's so crazy — it's that the craziness is so pathetically executed. (But it's mainly that it's so crazy.) [thehermancain/YouTube via BoingBoing]
A Zimbabwean man was busted on Sunday at 4 a.m. penetrating a donkey tied to a tree in his backyard (with his penis). The man, 28-year-old Sunday Moyo, admitted to the court that it indeed must have looked bad — but hear him out! Because only a few hours earlier, the donkey was a human prostitute.
Bernard Madoff's wife Ruth has told 60 Minutes, in the only interview she's ever given since her life unraveled, that she and Bernie tried to kill themselves on Christmas Eve 2008.
The perpetually up-and-coming actress gets another shot at the big leagues. Also today: Showtime wisely renews their best show, Jennifer Coolidge gets grunt work, and MTV says goodbye to some friends.
Well, the TSA has found and punished the guy (it's got to be a guy, right?) who left that hilariously inappropriate note in a blogger's luggage. The TSA always gets its man!
