Today is the last day on the air for Regis Philbin, the man with the most hours on camera according to the Guinness Book of World Records. We've been watching the show all month and it's pretty clear that it's his time to go. Have a look at this video—compiled by Gawker intern Roger Cormier—to see just a few of the things Regis got wrong this month alone.
Well at least I haven't gaffed, says Michele Bachmann, the woman who confused the birthplace of John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy, the state where the first shot of the Revolution was fired with New Hampshire, Elvis' birthday with the day he died and vaccines with the cause of mental retardation - all in the past year.
Lady Gaga marks her dressing rooms with urine in surprising places. Jessica Simpson plans to give birth in 4-inch Yves Saint Laurent heels. Rihanna is horny and not getting laid enough. Nicki Minaj wants to use a vibrator in front of children. Friday gossip has needs.
Earlier this week, New Yorkers were shaken and alarmed by a report that Starbucks could be closing some of its restrooms in the city, leaving us all with nowhere to urinate except in Roger Ailes' face. The company denied the report, but this is simply too important of a story to "take their word for it." Now, the New York Times is on the case!
This closeted actor set his closeted actor boyfriend on a date with a person of the transgender persuasion. This reality star stole her boyfriend from another man, and this NFL star wants to start fighting for gay civil rights. Finally some gay gossip worth reporting.
Idaho State University student Ramon Bailey says he made this 20-minute video of accused White House shooter and would-be Obama assassin Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez after "randomly" meeting him at his gym in September. Among other things, it reveals Ortega-Hernandez to be the anti-beer pong, pro-marijuana Second Coming of Christ. Jesus likes to party organically.
How many American butts had to develop "hard lumps, ripples, skin discolorations, and infections" before alleged, unauthorized butt enhancer Kimberly Smedley was arrested by federal agents last month? Perhaps we'll never know. But we'll definitely sleep more soundly knowing that America's butts are being protected from her silicone-stuffed syringes.
Unless you're an exhibitionist, you might consider canceling your annual pick-pocketing expedition to Providencia, Chile this year. As this video shows, local townsfolk have adopted a new vigilantism-based strategy to curb purse-grabbing: strip the would-be thief completely naked and leave him in the street. Naked as a jaybird! Naked as a jailbird!
President Obama announced from Bali on Friday that he's sending Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to the human rights disaster zone known as Myanmar, aka Burma, saying, "After years of darkness we've seen flickers of progress." It will be the first such visit to the country, which has long isolated itself from diplomacy, in over 50 years.
Pity the Secret Service, a law enforcement agency positively stretched to its limits, what with all those mentally ill drifters from Idaho on missions from God trying to assassinate the president and whatnot. But no, that can wait, guys. Herman Cain needs some protection! (Incidentally, that's the same exclamation that began every National Restaurant Association job interview from 1997 to 1999.)
Regis Philbin bids farewell to Live! tomorrow, but he still had time to stop by tonight's Late Show. Philbin stuck around for much of the hour, during which he and David Letterman talked about making out with each other, the possibility of Jerry Seinfeld coming between them, and more. Then, Philbin crashed the Vespa that Letterman bought for him as a retirement present. Here's our video of highlights.
Taylor Swift is the subject of a probing 60 Minutes piece this Sunday, in which Leslie Stahl connects the crossover country sensation to the collapse of the European economy, Iran's secret nuclear weapons program, and an illegal baby-fighting ring in China. No, just kidding — it's about how pretty she is and how she makes nice songs about how the the boys on the football team never ask her to the sock hop. In this preview clip, Swift explains that she takes herself very seriously. As a role model! I mean as a role model. She takes herself very seriously as a role model. Take it away, Taylor! [60 Minutes]
If you, like me, are a big fan of nonfiction, then you'll want to add Stuck Up! 125 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn't Be to your holiday reading list, and pronto. Who wouldn't want to curl up to a roaring fire this Christmas with a definitive compendium of funny things stuck inside people's bodily cavities? Sure, slowly squatting onto a 12-Inch Karate Action Buzz Lightyear might sound like a good idea after a couple of grams of high-grade crystal methamphetamine; it's the journey back to Earth that isn't always quite so pleasant. (And if you think that's bad, you should see what happened to the guy's Woody.) [Stuck Up! via TMZ]
