Today we were exposed to some excellent literature—literature in the form of Muffie Potter Aston's diary. Tres chic! While we learned all about the various Birkin bags dear Muffykins owns, we were not told what the good lady keeps inside her leather year-of-tuition-at-a-good-college-with-straps. One commenter has the scoop!

In a typically nasty personal-political combo, Anonymous has leaked thousands of private emails belonging to a retired California cybercrime investigator named Fred Bacalagan, in what they say is payback for the recent Occupy Wall Street crackdown.

Everyone knows that the authorities have reopened the case of actress Natalie Wood's 1981 drowning death, which is officially still classified as an accident. The police held a press conference in LA today and announced that her husband, Robert Wagner, is not a suspect.

This morning, a fuzzy baby seal swam up to the rocks behind Gracie Mansion, the official residence of New York City's mayor (though Michael Bloomberg doesn't live there), and sunned itself on a rock. Needled for pictures, the mayor's office eventually tweeted a photograph of the uninvited occupier.

There's a concept that applies to many reality television show fights that I wish the people on reality shows would embrace: both wrong. Sometimes people on both sides of a fight can be wrong. And for that, both should be punished.

It's been well proven that some of the most reliable haters of America are Americans ourselves. We just can't stand this crappy place. Which should not be interpreted as meaning that we don't love this great nation. Or should it?

President Obama and fellow Pacific leaders didn't don any "silly shirts" — a.k.a. "festive local garb" — at last week's APEC conference in Hawaii, breaking from the conference's proud tradition of dressing powerful global leaders in clown costumes. "I got rid of the Hawaiian shirts because I looked at pictures of some of the previous APEC meetings," he explained, "and... I thought this may be a tradition that we might want to break." The War on Fun never ends with this guy. Fortunately, his hosts at his latest stop in Bali have forced him to wear a silly shirt anyway.

Peanut butter! Speed weapon! Magic particles! Vacuum light! Extreme weather! Spray skin! Female voles! Squid mystery! And the lightest thing ever invented! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—to the extreme!

Way back before there was Lady Gaga, there was Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta and she lived in this apartment on Manhattan's Lower East Side. The entire premise of If These Walls Could Talk should be re-written so that it is about this place.

For whatever reason, the House chose to whip out ye olde Balanced Budget Amendment for another vote today, after it was voted down a couple of times this summer. It failed. The vote was 261-165 in favor of it, but—oops!—you need 2/3 support to amend the Constitution. That's because amending the Constitution should be hard, and not done whenever Eric Cantor and a few buddies think something on Fox News sounds cool.

Believe it or not, Mayor Michael Bloomberg's para-military crackdown on Zuccotti Park earlier this week only energized the movement, as yesterday's massive day of action proved. Now there's tons of dramatic footage, public outrage, and a new sense of momentum for the 99%.

It turns out the Marc Jacobs theft wasn't as bad as we first thought. But good luck for any amateur Miss Marples out there: There's a reward if you can get info about the missing duds.

It seems like every time the powers that be release a new nugget of history from Richard Nixon's noxious crypt, it contains a choice anti-Semitic moment. But this time, it's not Nixon's vivid and vulgar Jew-hatred on display. It's Henry Kissinger (a Jew!) calling his people the most "self-serving group of people" on the planet.

Remember James Arthur Ray, the Oprah-endorsed "guru" who hosted a sweat lodge "vision quest" that caused the deaths of three people and "vomit everywhere"? The one overheard stating "It's a good day to die" while people literally died in front of him?

In your finally Friday media column: Newsweek sucks, Chelsea Clinton's NBC infiltration works, a bodybuilder becomes a magazine editor, drone journalism arrives, and your angry layoff rant of the day.

Historically, protest movements have always generated iconic music that represents the spirit of the time. The civil rights era gave us "We Shall Overcome." From Vietnam came "For What It's Worth." LAPD brutality inspired "Fuck tha Police." And so forth.

For this week's "What I Wore" personal style column, the New York Times features Park Avenue socialite Muffie Potter Aston, whose life is exactly as you'd guess it would be, based on her name.

Thank God! It had been at least a month or two since House Speaker John Boehner was last seen bawling over, well, anything; we were starting to worry that he was getting his shit together.

Today sees the release of Twilight: Something About Dawn, Part Nine in cineplexes across America and already every American girl between the ages of 10 and 18 has screamed herself hoarse at a midnight screening. But I don't care one lick about this movie or the whole franchise, and here's why.

Oprah Winfrey, she who controls the moon above and the tides below, is leasing her 4,607 square-foot Chicago apartment. That is so many feet for an apartment!