There are two possible explanations for these horrendously mislabeled graphics from yesterday's Special Report with Brett Baier: one, that no one at Fox News knows or cares about where Nevada and New Hampshire are; or two, that the network is somehow trying to fool the Obama administration into pumping millions of dollars into Utah, thinking that it's actually Nevada. Not sure which is less embarrassing. [via Media Matters; image via AP]

A visiting professor at West Virginia University has discovered a 16th-century erotic poem—written by a Catholic noblewoman to the condemned Protestant tutor of Edward VI—hidden inside an edition of works by Chaucer, leading to fevered speculation, in your head, over who will star in the movie. (Carey Mulligan, maybe? Emily Blunt?)

There will be no more "dollar coins." Nobody wants them. The coins, we mean; their heft is too great for the threadbare, hole-studded pockets of the average American pant. But dollars themselves—sure, we'll take em. Got any? No.

Facebook is offering a way to report a friend's suicidal posting, and get him or her help via instant message. It's not the most direct or energetic way to get help for a terminally depressed pal, but at least it's something.

The New Yorker has just posted Mattathias Schwartz's excellent piece in last week's magazine on the disastrous raid to arrest Jamaican druglord Christopher "Dudus" Coke. At the DEA's insistence, Jamaican authorities reluctantly raided Tivoli Gardens, the West Kingston slum Coke ran as a de facto governor, two years ago. Coke didn't turn up, but Jamaican police officers killed 73 civilians, many of them allegedly in cold blood. A Department of Homeland Security surveillance plane was overhead the whole time.

An adorable widdle home invader broke into Annette Swoffer's New Zealand domicile this weekend. It was a "really friendly" baby seal, and it came through the cat door. From Annette's shellshocked interview with the New Zealand Herald:

Since everyone knows what Borat looks like and no one wanted to see Brüno, Sacha Baron
Cohen has to get all fictional on our asses and do like an actual real movie with actors and a script and all sorts of boring shit like that. At least he can rely on Saddam Hussein for laughs.

If you're wondering why the Mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, chose for his annual Christmas card to pose his family next to a leopard slaughtering a gazelle, you are not alone. There are several theories floating about: The official line is that Jorge Santini wanted to promote the San Juan Wildlife Museum and its breathtaking taxidermy displays to rival anything in the Caribbean. (There are two alternate cards, one involving penguins, the other a bear and wild turkey.) A second theory is that Santini is sending a not-so-veiled message to his political rivals in anticipation of this upcoming election year. But we're going to throw a third theory out there: The twisted little girl on the lower left is just into extreme Nativity Scenes. Run, Baby Jesus, run! [Daily Mail]

Paul Derengowski was an adjunct religion professor at Tarrant County College in Fort Worth, Texas. Now he's resigned, in protest of another protest about his class. This story is completely bananas. Here's a breakdown, from Inside Higher Ed:

The home where Holly Golightly resided in the Breakfast at Tiffany's movie -with that iconic fire escape, the cat, the mahvelous pahhhties- is up for sale. And for $5.85 million, one of New York's most historic and romantic landmarks is all yours.

Last Thursday, a 27-year-old named Abe Liu was cited by Harvard police for "using a falsified identification card" and warned against trespassing in college dorms. It was apparently the first time he'd encountered the police—but he'd spent the semester posing as a Harvard College freshman, sleeping in friends' dorm rooms and even posing for a fashion feature in The Harvard Crimson, apparently because he "was lonely."

The first thing everyone on the internet—or everyone on Twitter, at least—remarked when Demi Moore announced her divorce from dangling Chad Ashton Kutcher was, "What is she going to do about her Twitter handle?!" Moore has been known as @MrsKutcher for years, what will she do now? Nothing, so stop asking!

At the risk of breaking the internet under the weight of trolling, Occupy Williamsburg now exists. Its first meeting occurred last night at Union Pool, a bar that has a wading pool and a permanent taco truck in its backyard. The Atlantic Wire's Adam Clark Estes reports,

Nowadays, we carry increasingly powerful mobile devices with us wherever we go. With innovations and advancements in mobile screen technology — like the True HD IPS Display with16:9 HD widescreen capabilities on the new LG Nitro HD — the visual experiences we enjoy in the palm of our hands just keep getting better. Our sister site, Gizmodo, has partnered with LG Nitro HD to bring you On Display, an exclusive original video series in which the leaders in digital animation discuss how they do what they do and what the future of mobile tech holds for the future of creativity.

Imagine going to work in a Midtown office tower, trudging your way to a job you don't really like anymore, and while getting into the elevator as it shoots up in the air, crushing you against the ceiling, splitting your body in half, and killing you. Hell of a way to go.

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR—the hilariously tasteless, unethical, and error-prone PR firm that's repped Tiger Woods girls and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis—is now in the family values business, according to a hot new press release:

If being a weirdo is a heritable trait, Trent Arsenault is making the world a much stranger place. He's a self-fashioned "free sperm donor," bestowing his super-powerful seed on needy couples. But the FDA wants to shut him down.

Those of you who are from or who currently live in one of America's more backwards states (Southern states, Southwestern states, all middle American states, or any part of any state on either coast outside of a major metropolitan area) know that there are few pleasures easier or more satisfying than making fun of America's more backward states. I mean, you don't have to be some great wit. A half-dumb child could easily offend a resident of, say, Georgia. And could probably do so more easily than a more eloquent critic, given the state's average reading comprehension.

The sale of late screen legend Elizabeth Taylor's concluded yesterday and the collection fetched more than $116 million, well above its estimate. La Liz is a blockbuster even in death!

A team of scientists have discovered the horrible monster bug from all New Yorkers' nightmares. The "leaproach" is a cockroach capable of sailing short distances through the air and landing, possibly, on your face: