Kim Jong-il died on a train Saturday morning… or did he? The Kim Jong-il conspiracy theories are starting to flow. There's nothing so far about Kim getting plastic surgery and joining a Ukrainian pro hockey team, but give it time.
Might as well get THIS one out of the way: the Sex/ Internet/ Microfame story of the week comes to us courtesy of Kat Stoeffel at the New York Observer, who introduces us to 21 year-old college student and occasional writer-about-sex on the internet "Marie Calloway" (a pseudonym). Sometimes Marie writes about sex, on Tumblr, or on Thought Catalog. Does this make her "the model for literary seductresses" in the "internet age?" No. It just makes her a girl, with a Tumblr.
Blabbering corpuscle Newt Gingrich told a gay man in Iowa yesterday that he'd rather have gay people just vote for Barack Obama than show the gay community any support. Don't worry, Newt, no one is going to vote for you anyway.
This former Real Housewife pays for her drugs by selling sex. This actor was a junkie, this actor is obsessed with porn, Courtney Stodden turned down this reality star for a threeway, and this comedian/stoner hired someone to do his Christmas shopping. We all have our vices.
Russian fertilizer billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev needed somewhere for his daughter, a student at an unidentified American university, to stay when she visited New York. Nothing too fancy—just an easy spot with a nice bedroom, an eat-in kitchen, maybe an office, and, while we're at it, a library, and, if possible, a terrace. Oh, and an in-apartment gallery. For her art. Around, say, 6,744 square feet? On Central Park West?
Saddened over the recent loss of HBO's hipster mystery (mipstery?) Bored To Death? So is Jonathan Ames, the guy who created it. But what's the point in wallowing in self-pity, if you can wallow in self-pity while drunk and surrounded by dozens of sympathetic fans? Wait, did I say dozens? How about hundreds! Thousands! No wait, dozens is probably for the best. Ames hopped on to Twitter tonight to announce that all fans of the series in the area should meet him at the Brooklyn Inn on Wednesday night for a drink on him. And he promised John Hodgman will be there! There is literally no down side here, people. Except the loss of Bored to Death, and the possibility of a fire hazard. But free drink! So... [@JonathanAmes]
A team of researchers working out of the University of Western Ontario in London, Ontario, have received approval from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to begin clinical trials of an HIV vaccine on humans beginning in January. What makes this vaccine different from the handful of others in development around the world is that it uses dead HIV-1 virus, in a similar methodology that led to vaccines for polio, rabies and hepatitis A.
Happy Hanukkah, to one and all! Sorry — I mean happy holidays. Actually, no I don't. I mean Happy Hanukkah! Let your Heeb flag fly! Gorge on gelt! Lose it on latkes! Spin a dreidel once, watch it fall over, get bored, and go open a present! Hanukkah comes but once a year, and lasts a fleeting eight nights, so best to enjoy it while it's here. The annual lighting of the National Menorah took place on the White House Ellipse on Tuesday evening, with first-night torchbearing duties bestowed upon none other than Director of the United States Office of Management and Budget, Jacob J. Lew. Way to count those pennies for America, Jacob Jew! I mean Lew! I mean — wait, that came out totally wrong. Wow, would you look at that gigantic menorah! That's one big menorah. Don't think I've ever seen one that big. Yup. Real big ceremonial candelabra they're oilin' up over there. Real big. [Washington Post, Photo via AP]
After seven years of rights disputes and one false start, here it finally is — the first teaser for Peter Jackson's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It's the first part of Jackson's two-part retelling of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, set to debut a full year from now. And good god, it's fucking The Lord of the Rings again. The score, the Shire, the Ians (Holm and McKellen), the font, the Dwarf makeup, the Gollum, the Precious — they're all back. If you wanted to return to Middle Earth exactly as Jackson had left it in 2003, then you're in for a treat. But movies don't tend to age as well as books do — particularly effects-driven ones — and this one looks and feels dated by about a decade. I'll stick to HBO's Game of Thrones, thanks. (Still an immeasurable improvement over The Lovely Bones, however!)
Today we learned about a fascinating new invention that uses facial recognition technology to bestow sexxxy, adults-only pudding upon the masses. Technology is truly a wonder. And while we do not often reward the immensely prestigious and sought after COTD title on the image-makers among you, today's commenter really arrested us. Please see the image above and to the right for some expert Photoshopping.
The angry communists of Wisconsin who are trying to recall Gov. Scott Walker have taken their puerile toilet humor all the way out to the rustic 4 Winds Motel — you know, the 4 Winds, right there on Highway BD north of Baraboo. That's where the owner has put up a sign reading, "RECALL THE KOCH SUCKER NOW!" Good heavens.
Astronomers say the Earth has two moons at this very moment. Crazy astronomers must have forgotten their glasses at the lab.
All year long, we've been entranced by the New York Times feature "Room for Debate," in which six people each share short opinion essays on a controversial topic—important and relevant questions from "If store-bought donations at the school fund-raiser are so wrong, what's the solution?" to "Is Anti-White Bias a Problem?" to "Rising Wealth Inequality: Should We Care?" In that spirit, we've decided to host a small "Room for Debate" amongst the Gawker staff, around the topic: "Which Color Is Best?"
The lefty blogosphere is all hot and bothered at famous fact-checking website Politifact for naming Democrats' claim that the Paul Ryan "Path to Prosperity" would "end Medicare" its 2011 Lie of the Year. And yes, there's a solid argument to be made that Politifact is completely wrong. The bigger problem here, though, is why does anyone care what this gimmicky website has to say, ever?
Bloated starfucker Piers Morgan finally gave his long-awaited testimony before a British commission investigating phone hacking today. While there were no Perry Mason moments trapping Morgan in one of his numerous transparent lies about his tenures at the News of the World and Daily Mirror, he was at least exposed as having a conveniently spotty memory.
