Hi, guys,

Is it Friday already? We know it is because we have an extremely advanced sun dial here in the office, and also because you can only hear the word "cunt" so many times before you know in your heart that the week is finally over. This week's Tail of Mears was made for you, by you.

Katie Couric tweeted at us today in response to us "making fun of her." Oh Katie, always just a couple steps behind. Late to comment on this swirling vat of Lana Del Rey internet bile, (late to the internet in general) and a few steps behind our old pal, Brian Williams.

Goddamn it. Stephen Colbert did a segment last night featuring breading, the meme we unfortunately launched this week. This means at least another week of my inbox overflowing with pictures of cats inside pieces of bread. Didn't anyone at the Colbert Report see that breading is totally over?

"Adorable!" (Also potentially terrifying, but that is a matter of taste.) Happy Friday.

Earlier today, Anonymous announced what sounded like an awesome caper: The group had compromised the email of a law firm that represented Staff Sergeant Frank Wuterich, the Marine squad leader who got a slap on the wrist for his role in the Haditha massacre. Trouble is, the hack had a lot of collateral victims, including people that Anonymous might normally be aligned with. Like a lawyer for Guantanamo detainees.

Today, Michelin spokesman Newt Gingrich berated the Manhattan elites who "ride the subway"; last month, he scolded them for "writing for fancy newspapers" and "rid[ing] the metro." But as non-members of the elite class, we had to ask ourselves: is it really true that elites ride the subway?

We're asking as friends. [WWTDD]

I asked you to immortalize your most embarrassing Bar Mitzvah photos by submitting them to this contest, and the results are in. On a side note: When my Dad saw the original post he was upset because he did not like that I was joking about my special day. Let it be known that I was not making fun of my Bat Mitzvah, or the Mitzvah tradition in general. I was celebrating what is truly a very special day in the lives of Hebe boys and girls- Men and Women- everywhere.

The US Army has launched an investigation into workout supplements after two soldiers fell down and died from heart attacks after taking pre-workout boosters like Jack3d and OxyElite Pro, which contain DMAA, a no good very bad/ perfectly safe amphetamine that either gives you heart attacks or is totally innocuous, depending on who you ask.

Deep down, I am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you find out there's a new Oreo out there, and you're supposed to still care about the old Oreo. I feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. I was eating an Oreo and drinking some milk, which was lovely. And I happened to look over at my web browser, and I saw this neat article about how China has Oreos that are shaped like straws, and I found myself wondering what an Oreo straw would be like. Odds are they are still probably basic cream and chocolate Oreos. But I sort of think, well, maybe it's different. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know? [The 6th Floor / Planet Money, with apologies to Will Ferrell]

Last night was the premiere of a new MTV sitcom, I Just Want My Pants Back. It tells the heart warming tale of four young hipsters looking for love, riding the J train and thinking about environmental sustainability. Fret not if you didn't catch it, here's a thirty second recap of the show at its most hipster-douchey.

"You Should Find the Anti-Komen Backlash Disgusting, Even If You're Pro-Choice," proclaims National Review guy Daniel Foster. Why? Because "the Left" insists on "besmirching Komen's good name" instead of exercising its freedom of speech in Foster's preferred medium: a check.

Yesterday, we introduced you to the newest and most annoying euphemism yet for "person who works in the media industry somehow:" "Information sherpas." Ugh. God. Sorry to repeat that again.

This just in: According to Blake Lively, Blake Lively has never been on a date, ever.

A possibly (hopefully) real scene list from an Axe commercial is making its way around twitter today, and it is exactly what you would expect an Axe scene list to be. This thing is full of treasures like hot dog milfs, cut off shorts and "hip/cool/sexy/upscale bar patrons," among other very LOL things.

Yesterday, a Nassau County Supreme Court judge ruled that the Nassau County Police Department had improperly withheld records about its relationship with Fox News' Bill O'Reilly, and agreed to release them at 10:30 this morning. About 45 minutes before the documents were due to become available, Nassau County attorneys appealed the decision and obtained a stay of the order.

Anonymous is on a rampage today. Just hours after leaking a confidential phone call between the FBI and Scotland yard, members have released a huge archive of emails and documents related to the 2005 Haditha Massacre, which left 24 Iraqi civilians dead.

On bad days, do you ever think to yourself, "How could my daily commute be worse?"

It has finally happened, Snooki's body is rebelling against her. Yes, the greatest sociological experiment of our time took a turn for the biological and now Snooki is voiding her bowels wherever she possibly can.