More pets died on Delta than any other air carrier last year, according to an Air Travel Consumer Report released by the U. S. Department of Transportation earlier this week.

Outside her New York hotel today, a smiling Sarah Palin proved that she has finally conquered her possibly crippling fear of Asians. Jeremy Lin for leader of the free world.

Rihanna is currently working on "Birthday Cake (Remix)," due out soon, and who better to feature on the track than Chris Brown. Forget that he once violently beat Rihanna, resulting in injuries police called "horrific," for there are Birthday Cakes to remix.

Turns out that just hours before we published our inside look at Facebook's content moderation process, they released an updated version of their guidelines. We've obtained the newest document and are happy to report that you can now splatter your Facebook wall with pictures of bodily fluids.

Turns out Sam Kashner, the Vanity Fair contributing editor currently embroiled in a literary cheating scandal, has been accused of erotic deceit before. During his one-year tenure as a William & Mary English professor, Kashner wrote an ostensibly non-fiction bodice-ripper about sex with undergrads. The campus responded with outrage: Nobody believed Kashner could have tapped that much ass.

I shamelessly swiped this post, but it is perfect and deserves recognition. The image comes to us from Thailand's Tiffany Show, which is billed as "the original transvestite show."

According to one of Kim Kardashian's friends, Kim's publicist has arranged for her to go on a date with Knicks demigod, Jeremy Lin. And while it's probable that there's no truth in this, it's kind of fun to imagine. Think of the Kimsane headlines. The Keeping Up With the KardashiLins reality show spin-offs. So much would stem from this coupling, it's almost too much to take Lin.

Amine Derkaoui, a 21-year-old Moroccan man, is pissed at Facebook. Last year he spent a few weeks training to screen illicit Facebook content through an outsourcing firm, for which he was paid a measly $1 an hour. He's still fuming over it.

Representative Darrell Issa, chairman of the House Oversight Committee, refused to allow women to testify at a hearing discussing a new regulation that requires employers and insurers to provide contraception coverage to their employees. Issa also denied a request to include a female witness to the hearing, stating:

Hayden Panettiere muse and martyr, Amanda Knox has sold her memoir to HarperCollins for a cool four million bones. The rights to Knox's 2007 giallo in Perugia were put up for auction in a days-long battle between the top names in publishing.

Slate advice column Dear Prudence (which really is the prudest internet advice column) fielded a titillating question of dubious veracity today, from a gay man in a committed sexual relationship with his twin brother. Could this letter possibly be real? Let's discuss.

Those of you who caught the news (revealed, no doubt coincidentally, in two different articles published on the same day) that New York Times media wunderkind Brian Stelter and NY1 traffic reporter Jamie Shupak are dating — and have been for five months, apparently — may be wondering what we wondered this morning when we heard: What is Brian Stelter's romance secret? (Stelter, after all, is known also for wooing CNBC reporter Nicole Lapin.) We emailed to ask, and Brian tells us:

"Snooki's Getting Married" is the headline in In Touch Weekly, the tabloid you buy when the supermarket is out of People, Us Weekly, Star, National Enquirer, and even OK!. Except there is absolutely no truth to it.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Center yourself. Think about your bank account. Now. Are you ready for an article explaining why $196,000 per year is not that much money? Good.

Commonly acknowledged worst living mouth-breather, Chris Brown has struck gold again. According to US Weekly, the belligerent singer has refined his pick-up lines so that they are more, uh, relevant.

Zelda Kaplan, the hard-partying 95-year-old socialite who has been a fixture of the New York scene since the '60s, collapsed right in the middle of the Joanna Mastroianni fashion show at Lincoln Center yesterday, just as the second model walked past her. She was later pronounced dead. This is the first time a fashion show has literally been deadly boring.

This famously sexy star has had every flavor of famous man stopping by her hotel room for a romp. This Real Housewives couple is close to breaking up and this famous couple is wearing promise rings. God, how annoying.

Nothing to see here folks, just your typical Sphynx cat broadcasting "carpe diem" from his be-tatted chest. It's a cattoo! This man should be punished not just for animal abuse, but also for his poor taste in tattoos.

Of the ongoing battle against the stubborn head lice infestation at Indiana's Huntington University, one campus official says, "We feel like we're turning a good corner here."

Beginning with last night's rerun episode, which focused on Herman Cain, The Colbert Report has temporarily suspended production for at least a week. Seems like the suspension was a surprise to everyone involved with the show, considering ticketholders to last night's episode weren't notified of the cancellation until the last minute.