Ladies, make sure when you do get your man to put a ring on it, it's this 150 carat "world's first diamond ring." Asking him to plunk down $68 million is a good way to test him and his love for you.

Here's a sliced-and-diced re-edit we cut of the motivational 1987 VHS The Mirror Image. In it, meathead/positive person/friend of Chuck Norris John Jacobs alternately enthuses and rants about teens' self-image, while being frequently interrupted with footage of people attempting to break handcuff links, a dude chopping things that are on fire and another one breaking cinder blocks with his forehead. If you're after some incoherence in your life, you'll undoubtedly find this aspirational.

Penn Badgley knows what it is to struggle. But don't let the excellent quality and unusual textures of his many scarves fool you, because he can certainly recognize a revolution when he sees one.

In GQ this month, Claire Hoffman sits down with rapper Drake for the magazine's cover story. Drake is not a horribly interesting person, and celebrity profiling is not usually a horribly interesting craft, but Hoffman wrote a great piece. Within the few hours she spent at the rapper's mansion in The Valley, she essentially lived through a real-life chapter of a 16-year-old's fan fiction. Drake wined and dined her (with white wine spritzers!) in his backyard terrace—complete with waterfalls, bronze animal statues, and a giant fire pit "fit for a king from Middle-earth"—and they watched Sixteen Candles. All that was missing was a bearskin rug.

On the same day that we learn that student loan debt in America has passed the $1 trillion mark—meaning that student debt is even worse than we thought just weeks ago—it's reassuring to also learn that this massive, shaky bubble is perched on a firm foundation of complete financial ignorance.

Twitter is freaking out over brown cargo pants which appear to be sold by Abercrombie and Fitch and are described as 'Nigger Brown.' It's a hoax: the pants are listed on abercrombie-and-fitchoutlet.com, a bogus website registered in China that appears to sell knock-off A&F gear. But how did these pants end up being described so racist-ly in the first place?

There's nothing wrong with a regular old book, unless of course, the book is too big and heavy, or gets boring, or ends halfway through your six-hour flight. Because then, you're going to be cursing your book and making vague threats about using it as kindling—and that's no way for a literate, book-lover like yourself to sound in public. You're going to wish you had the Kindle Touch eReader. And right now, you can win a free Kindle Touch by clicking here and answering this short survey. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself making excuses to spend more time traveling.

What is it about Wall Street Journal editors that makes tech executives give horrible, self-destructive quotes? They got Google's CEO to say children will someday change their names to escape their Google hits. And now they apparently got the inventor of the Segway to say many women and minorities are more interested in "bouncing balls" than studying computer science.

One of the biggest dilemmas facing slobs who live in fashion-forward cities like New York is what to do when faced with tiny children who are better-dressed than us.

A brief look at the GQ profile pieces mentioned in this article about female writers profiling male celebrities.

A new government report says that 38% of American women aged 15-44 have never ever been married, not even once. What is wrong with them? Something. Nobody likes them? Apparently. Anyhow. They're not as hopeless as everyone thinks!

It's a right-wing rabble-rouser showdown! Jazz-handed pimp impersonator James O'Keefe is at "#WAR" with a former Project Veritas colleague who is now blogging an O'Keefe tell-all involving stolen panties, drugged beers, a "rape barn," "taped intimate moments," a $20K pay-off, and barbs about "black welfare queens." James O'Keefe has graduated from creepy seductions to a full-blown sex scandal.

On the internet it's not just hard to be alone: It's depressing as hell. Design Observer points us to Screenshots of Despair, a Tumblr that collects sad moments from social networking that remind users of their fundamental isolation: "No one currently likes this." "You have no favorites." "You are invisible."

Reclusive comedian and recently-jacked human Dave Chappelle has apparently joined Twitter. Chappelle has had countless imposters on Twitter but according to Neal Brennan, who co-created Chappelle's Show it's him for real.

The question has been asked ever since the first wet-behind-the-ears whelp fresh from Ireland stumbled off a boat at New York Harbor, dying from scurvy: When does someone become a real New Yorker?

Tracie Potochnik has recapped America's Next Top Model for Television Without Pity since its third cycle started airing eight years ago. Over the years, she announced recently, she has written more than 1,350,000 words on the show. That's more than two War and Peaces, but these volumes of work don't so much as have the honor of collecting dust. They are ephemeral by nature, tied to episodes of seasons of whole shows that are forgotten virtually as soon as they air. Recapping television, especially with the detail and craft of Potochnik, ultimately amounts to writing sandcastles—and yet it's become a beloved staple of the blogger's oeuvre.

Mohammed Merah, the 23 year-old Islamic radical who admitted to killing four men and three Jewish schoolchildren in Toulouse, France, was killed today when police raided his apartment there.

One of the most delightful products of our industrial farming system is "pink slime," aka "lean, finely textured beef," a slurry of ammonia-treated cow byproducts mixed into ground beef as a filler. It's widely used in school lunches because growing children should get three servings of slime-based food per day. But now schools are ridding their cafeterias of pink slime.

Vending machines—those metallic friends which got you through many a long afternoon of jury duty or school or waiting for your wife to have that stupid baby, already—are having a hard go of it, these days. Americans just don't love them as they used to. From the WSJ:

Earlier this month, Upper East Side mom Anna Gristina was arrested and charged with running a high end brothel catering to "powerful men." So who were those powerful men? The first big name has leaked, and it is... utterly unsurprising.