Political widower with a wandering penis John Edwards has denied a DNAInfo report claiming he purchased sex from accused New York "Millionaire Madam" Anna Gristina. His lawyer announced last night,

This morning on Fox & Friends, Geraldo Rivera said unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin's choice to wear a hooded sweatshirt in public "is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin's death as George Zimmerman was." He used the example of "a dark skinned kid like my son Cruz, who I constantly yelled at when he was going out wearing a damn hoodie or those pants around his ankles."

All Roberto Clemente wanted to do was turn his 5,000 square-foot Southern California McMansion into an invite-only swinger's club called the "Kinky Palace." As you can imagine, his neighbors in the rural residential community of Oak Hill were not pleased.

"The real sport of the Hunger Games is watching the tributes kill one another," says protagonist Katniss Everdeen in the first book of Suzanne Collins's Hunger Games trilogy. The real sport of The Hunger Games, Gary Ross's compulsively entertaining cinematic adaptation, is breezing by those murders without offending delicate sensibilities.

German publication B.Z. has shed some light on the apocalyptic coming together of the Manilow*, Manson, Del Rey trio, pictured together at the Echo Music Awards in Germany: Marilyn Manson and Lana Del Rey are dating. B.Z. is supposedly in possession of photographic evidence that the once-rumored Wonder Years star and forever-rumored self-fellating rocker is having hotel sleepovers with Lana Del Rey.

Following his conviction in the webcam spy scandal that preceded gay Rutgers student Tyler Clementi's suicide, Dharun Ravi has broken his silence. "Energized" by the verdict, Ravi plans to fight his conviction. He maintains that he didn't commit a hate crime, and adds that he doesn't think he contributed to Clementi's death. "I was an insignificant part of his life," Ravi tells 20/20's Chris Cuomo in an interview that will air tonight. "That's what's giving me comfort now."

If you haven't already had your vine-printed chiffon cocktail dress steamed, your case of gin and rye whiskey ordered, and your Mad Men masks printed out in preparation for the agonizingly-long-time-coming two-hour season 5 premiere, then you'd better get cracking. Here's what you need to do to prep for the big night:

This morning on Fox and Friends, an unusually stupid walrus named Geraldo Rivera offered "a different take" on the case of Trayvon Martin, the unarmed black teenager gunned down in the street by a vigilante because he "looked suspicious." Tell us your take, Geraldo:

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Vattnet Viskar.

There are no better symbols of the rotten soul of the Washington, DC press corps than its annual "Cocksuckers to Power" dinners, when journalists emerge from their cave to backslap with and be patronized by the very politicians that they are supposed to be covering in an aggressive manner, on behalf of the public. The White House Correspondents Dinner is the most high-profile example of this sickening vomitorium of fellatio of power. Now its prime competitor, The Gridiron Dinner, is getting jealous.

Lifetime, the TV network that "celebrates, entertains, and supports women," has finally pushed its schadenfreude reality programming too far. After airing an extraordinarily child-sexualizing episode of Dance Moms once, the network pulled the episode from rotation and scrubbed it from the internet. The episode in question? "Topless Showgirls," in which a troop of 8- to 13-year-old girls simulate toplessness and perform a burlesque.

Behold: Lana Del Rey, Marilyn Manson and Barry Manilow — backstage, as far as I can tell, at the Echo Music Awards in Germany a couple nights ago. "And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them, having breastplates of fire, and of jacinth, and brimstone: and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone. By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths. For their power is in their mouth, and in their tails: for their tails were like unto serpents, and had heads, and with them they do hurt." [via]

"Nice Hair, Claire?" Stop Right There! See Me Reach? Aw Gee, Teach! No More Touchin' While You're Lunchin'! Principal's Principle Deserves Ridicule: No Caresses for Classmate's Tresses! Grinch Puts the Cinch on Friendly Clench. Pity the Itty-Bitty Kiddies. "Cuddle at Home, You Snuggling Gnomes! School Is Where Knowledge Is Grown, Not Your Bone! No More 'Likes,' You Porny Tykes! Tween Wet Dreams Should Remain Unseen. I Know You're Grinding Whilst Intertwining! Don't Be Petting While You're Still Bed-Wetting. Hands to Yourself, You Miscreant Whelps! Doing Drugs? Fine, But No Hugs!"

Step off that elliptical—gingerly, now, so you don't trip, oops, you tripped anyway, oh God, how embarrassing, whatever, no one saw—the Telegraph reports that a new study has found that eating seaweed toast is basically the same as exercising.

This story out of Halifax is ostensibly intended to inform readers that oral contraceptive users who experience vomiting or diarrhea after taking their pills should use back-up methods of protection in order to prevent pregnancy.

Whitney Houston drowned, with cocaine fresh in her system, following a possible heart attack, according to her newly-released initial autopsy report.

Organizers of the Orange County Fair called a halt to the event's twenty-five year tradition of offering elephant rides today.

Glorious Spring has arrived! And I can't think of a better way to celebrate it than to sit on the couch, watch a TV show and group-chat about it online—can you? Of course not! Especially when the show in question is P.R. All Stars Season Finale, and the group-chatters are the witty commenters who've gathered here to live-blog this show all winter long. So be sure to go outside and soak up some sun tomorrow—but tonight, stay in and join our live blog in the comments!

A convicted murderer with the best bros in the world is back behind bars after making a daring escape from a high-security Russian prison earlier today.

Rock's answer to Eeyore, Magnetic Fields brainchild Stephin Merritt, was once accused of being racist for his professed love of the song "Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah" (from Song of the South, the insanely minstrely black sheep of the Disney catalog) and for not seeming too into black music. Well, two can play that game, as Merritt has called out Adele's legion of fans for some bigotry of their own in an interview with Dan Weiss for L.A. Weekly. Here's how it goes down: