Last night USA Today reported that two of its staffers, Tom Vanden Brook and Ray Locker, were the targets of a smear campaign, including fake Twitter accounts and web sites established in their names, launched by a Pentagon contractor specializing in "information operations." For some reason, the paper declined to name the perpetrator: Leonie Industries.

Excessive consumption of Coca-Cola likely contributed to the death of a New Zealand woman who suffered a fatal heart attack two years ago.

A promotional video for the BBC's nature documentary series Planet Earth featuring children "auditioning" to replace narrator David Attenborough by adorably attempting to read his script?

Eight days ago, the Wall Street Journal published another column promising a "stable Afghanistan" from the Brookings Institution's Michael O'Hanlon. It might as well have been assembled by playing Powerball. O'Hanlon cranks the hopper, opens the little cage and out comes another bromide: "Closer"! "Accomplishing"! "Goals"! "Exit Strategy"!

Transgender metamorphosis, according to a study conducted by a protégé of renowned neuroscientist Vilayanur S. Ramachandran, is when a person undergoes a change in sexual identity, often multiple times a day. Meaning, you go to sleep identifying with one gender and wake up feeling, thinking, and identifying with the other.

Ashley Smith directs an adorable Kanye West stand-in named Caleb (AKA Kanye's son) in the unofficial video for "Way Too Cold" (formerly known as Theraflu).

This year's Disneynature's Earth Day documentary offering, Chimpanzee, is the latest in a rash of documentaries about the emotional lives of animals to emerge in the past year or so. Project Nim, One Lucky Elephant and The Whale (my favorite of the bunch because it was responsible for one of the most moving cinema experiences I've ever had) dissect and bemoan humans' complicated relationship with those whom we share Earth with – the good, the bad, the exploitative. Those three movies present stories of direct human interaction and, more specifically, how human interruption can severely fuck up innocent animal lives.

In an effort to "recapture the narrative about Joseph Kony and Northern Uganda from Invisible Children," a group of honest-to-goodness Ugandans — journalists, photographers, storytellers, and other young professionals — united to launch UgandaSpeaks: An online platform for Ugandans to tell their own stories in their own words.

Beatboxing pioneer/rapper-warbler Biz Markie appeared on an episode of Bio.'s Celebrity House Hunting last night. Desiring to move from his suburban place to Washington, D.C., Biz emphasized that his main objective was to create a "museum" for all of his stuff. There's so much of it. Audio tapes and VHS tapes and sneakers and records and, most surprisingly, Barbies. Biz calls himself an "avid" collector of the dolls with no trace of irony or shame. 2012 is an exciting time for masculinity.

A 7-year-old girl from Pennsylvania is the happy recipient of the Zaner-Bloser language arts and reading company's Nicholas Maxim Special Award for Excellent Penmanship. That's not saying much until you learn that first-grader Annie Clark was born without hands.

Hey everyone: Before you send an important email make sure you check to see that you didn't accidentally attach a webcam picture of a topless woman. That includes you, hacktivist collective Anonymous.

Racquel Bailey wants nothing more than a chance to be Tyler Perry's "next leading lady."

Last night, Bravo debuted Kathy Griffin's weekly talk show, Kathy, and it was not the disaster that such shows' first episodes often are. At one point, Griffin referred to her platform as "Kathy starring Kathy with me, Kathy," except that kind of egocentrism was mostly left to play out in her head. The format is conversational, with about half of the hour-long show taken up by a pop-culture/current-event chat with Griffin's three producer-talking heads (including Gawker friend Michelle Collins, who shone). Griffin isn't as showboaty or funny-hoarding as you might expect; she moderates well, riffs to enhance and gives praise when it's due (check out the props she gives Collins in the clip above). Kathy's like Real Time for pop-culture addicts. The skits were funny, another roundtable with her P.A.'s was also great and she had a segment with her mother, for those who care about that dynamic.

Dick: it's always popping up in the strangest places. Earlier this morning, a reader named Monique caught an eyeful on a Queens-bound F from a dude who was "dressed in a rumpled, cheap looking suit, and carried a Jet magazine."

Wondering if it's a good idea to pass out on a bed while hanging out with members of the University of Essex Hockey Club? This video should provide a sufficiently horrifying response to that question.

A question about a pineapple and a hare on the New York State eighth-grade reading exam has "stumped even educators" and left students "scratching their heads." State-mandated standardized testing, flawed? Nahhh. I bet Gawker readers could solve this question easy.

After getting stuck inside a heated baby pool, a raft of darling ducklings is led to a makeshift exit ramp by their mama. (The good stuff starts around the one-minute mark.)

On the British game show Golden Balls, the final round is set up like a less penitentiary "prisoner's dilemma": Contestants must choose between spliting the jackpot or stealing it for themselves.

Jose Canseco is the T.S. Eliot of Twitter. But how does this washed-up baseball star and confessed steroid user manage to churn out an endless stream of brilliantly twisted tweets? Maybe he has help.

Here are Five Surprising Things we can learn from FoxNews.com's story about how pop artists are turning to satanic imagery to drum up sales: