When you are a professional rumormonger, people want to tell you things. They corner you at parties and shout other people's secrets. They call your telephone and whisper. They write urgent emails.

On this morning's Today show, co-host Kathie Lee Gifford thought little of asking guest Martin Short about his marriage, considering it's usually a fairly innocuous line of talk-show small talk.

This morning on Fox & Friends, Fox News aired a straight-up, unadulterated four-minute attack ad mocking Obama's "Hope and Change" message and cataloguing the purported failures of his administration, complete with ominous music, depressing charts, and voiceover audio of Mitt Romney attacking him. Not someone else's ad, mind you—this was actually an in-house production of Fox News, involving weeks of work by a Fox staffer.

Luka Rocco Magnotta, an alleged stripper, escort, and gay porn star who has been previously accused of perpetrating gruesome acts of animal abuse, is been sought by police in Montreal in connection with the case of a limbless torso found stuffed inside a suitcase yesterday morning.

A surveillance camera in the Miami Herald building caught all 18 gruesome minutes of the Miami Zombie attack on the MacArthur Causeway over the weekend. (The footage above has been edited for length; the original can be viewed here.)

Police in Houston arrested a drunk pregnant woman who was found sleeping off her buzz behind the wheel of an idling car around 2:40 AM this morning.

Mustachioed aspic Tom Friedman has written a thousand words in today's New York Times about Paul Simon. The point of the column seems to be, basically, that there's a new documentary about Simon's album Graceland, and also Paul Simon is Tom Friedman's friend.

In an impassioned harangue on the floor of the Illinois State House of Representatives, Rep. Mike Bost (R) unloaded on Democratic House Speaker Michael Madigan for allegedly wielding too much power.

Mel and Joey Schwanke of Fremont, Nebraska, have been married for 64 years and change. Their secret? "We don't dare go somewhere without having matching outfits," Mr. Schwanke told KETV.

Pavel Durov, founder of the popular Russian Facebook-alike VKontakte, took a bread-and-circuses approach to generosity over the weekend, spending time with VK's vice president tossing paper airplanes made of money out of the company's St. Petersburg offices.

Summer can terrible for those stuck in the city. The air stinks of tourist's sweaty sunblock residue, all the good-looking, rich locals are at beach houses you could never afford, and your 4th floor walk-up is barbarically under air-conditioned. However, if you take this short survey, you could win this portable gas grill—the perfect preemptive way to make the dog days of summer less doggy. Drag it to your roof/ fire escape/ abandoned lot down the block, and you'll be flipping burgers and pretending you where somewhere else in no time!

"What is going on with the economy these days?" you ask yourself as you sit on the bench in the park where you go every day after you tell your wife you're "going to work." I'm glad that you asked, brother. If you sort of squint and turn things sideways ever so slightly, it is possible to interpret recent economic trends in a positive way.

When people respond to modern dance music, chances are they are responding to drops. A drop happens when the beat comes back after temporarily exiting the sound design. In drop-fueled dance music, this happens every few minutes — the beat asserts itself, people freak out, their interest wanes, the song breaks down, the beat dissolves and then drops back in, asserting itself all over again, making people freak out all over again. And over and over and over again.

In an effort to promote his singing career, a pool attendant from Rio de Janeiro covered himself in a coat of green paint, and masqueraded around his favela as the Hulk. But when it came time to resume his human form, Paulo Henrique dos Santos was shocked to find that the paint would not wash off.

Jim Paratore—founder of TMZ and creators of hit talk shows "Ellen" and "Rosie"— died from a heart attack yesterday while on a bike trip in France. The President of Telepictures was 58-years-old.

The victim of Rudy Eugene's cannibalistic attack has been identified as 65-year-old Ronald Poppo. Poppo, a homeless man with a long criminal record, is still alive in critical condition at Jackson Memorial Hospital. If you're feeling brave, you can take a look at what's left of his face here.

Poor people: why are they poor and dissolute? In this modern age of electrical light-bulbs, horseless carriages, and the inter-net, what excuse hath any man for being less than prosperous? Today, even those of modest means can possess a cell phone, a television, and a "Google" machine that possesses many times the knowledge of the fabled Library of Alexandria. Why haven't our nation's paupers taken advantage of these capabilities to catapult themselves into the upper class?

Not one to let North Carolina congregations hog all the homophobia, a Hoosier State church is making it known that, when it comes to verbally abusing homosexuals, they cannot be beat.

The boys from Bangakang take a treasure chest full of chocolate gold coins to Venice Beach and bury it in the sand under cover of darkness.

For 50 days during the summer of 2011, the members of Lulz Security were the most famous hackers on the planet. A splinter group of the hacktivist collective Anonymous, LulzSec tore up Fox News Fox Broadcasting, crashed the CIA's website and leaked hundreds of thousands of Sony customers' passwords, boasting of each new hack on their entertaining Twitter account.