An appeals court in Albany yesterday ruled unanimously that being falsely labeled a homosexual does not, in itself, constitute defamation.

I can't stop looking at this weird Chinese circcus goat. It can walk on a tightrope while carrying a monkey—then stand tiptoe on an urn and twirl.

As part of the Belgian Cancer Foundation's awareness campaign "Smarter in the Sun," five couples were whisked away to "a sunny destination" where they participated in a prank aimed at getting girls to wear sunscreen.

Facebook's terms of service are a modern soporific miracle. They are so blindingly dull that I fell out of my chair into a near-coma after struggling through the first paragraph just now. But take these bath salts to stay alert and follow me: Now is your chance to vote on the Facebook terms of service that nobody reads even though we all know we should.

Twenty-five years ago today, George Michael kicked off his solo superstardom proper with "I Want Your Sex," the first single from his Faith album, which would follow in the fall. Notorious and shocking in its day (it was banned from the BBC), "I Want Your Sex" has aged hilariously. When I was 9 and didn't know anything about anything, "I want your sex," seemed like a plausible thing that one naughty adult might say to another. Now that I have conveyed that sentiment a variety of ways that span all the colors of the rainbow flag, I can say for sure that I never, ever, ever have uttered the words, "I want your sex" and meant them (and I am a straight shooter), nor have I heard anyone at any time do the same. Not to me, not to anyone. This song is a fantasy of expression.

When the New York Times published a detailed story by chief Washington correspondent David Sanger today confirming the U.S. as the co-author of the Stuxnet virus and outlining Barack Obama's role in directing a highly classified digital monkeywrenching program against Iranian nuclear facilities, many observers noted that the story couldn't have been written without White House support. Which is odd, considering how much energy the White House has been putting into prosecuting leaks it doesn't like.

The Department of Health's Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today issued an official statement denying the existence of a "Zombie Virus" following a recent spate of incidents involving people behaving in a zombie-like manner.

Snow White & the Huntsman has several cool tricks up its ornately designed sleeve, but the coolest one of all is its focus on its wicked queen's existential crisis. That is, after all, what's always driven the action of this oft- and increasingly told tale – the aging queen's savage jealousy of younger beauty is what forces Snow White away from her rightful castle, into the cabin of seven dwarves. It's what almost kills our protagnoist and it's what unites her with her true love, a prince.

Is your child peeing the bed? It's time to have a mature and serious discussion about stool. Constipation and stool. The New York Times, a mature and serious news organization, has helpfully enlisted pediatric urologist Steve J. Hodges to write a blog post entitled, "When Bedwetting Isn't an ‘Accident.'" Doctor?

A 33-year-old Chinese man has been identified as the victim of the brutal "body parts" slaying that took place in Montreal last week.

The following thoughts have flickered through my mind in rapid succession at least once a week for as long as I have worked on the fourth floor of Gawker Media's offices.

Sed — ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt..."things".

Jem "Da Hunk" Mark is something of a micro-celebrity in certain Pinoy circles. In his latest how-to video, the Dubai-based flight attendant and amateur dance instructor walks (or, rather, dances) you through the moves you're likely to encounter when you hit the club later tonight.

The last thing I wanted to do on Memorial Day was think about soldiers. As Chris Hayes discovered, there are no good outcomes to examining American soldiery with more than one opinion: Awesome!

Smooth move by thinspirational pro-ana billionaire Mike Bloomberg: he'll ban big huge sodas that poor people drink, sure, but don't worry, people who actually vote and/ or donate money to political campaigns—your precious huge syrupy Starbucks quote sweetened coffee beverages unquote will be safe, because they contain milk.

A teenage girl said she was worried she would never see her family again after her father left her stranded on a street corner because she was failing calculus.

Since 2002, America has been killing people — terrorists, or, at least, people that American intelligence believes are terrorists — with missiles shot out of Predator drones, mostly in Pakistan, but also in Yemen and Somalia. They're precise, but only up to a point; anyone nearby is likely to die as well. The Bureau of Investigative Journalism places the number of civilian deaths between 500 and 1000.

It was the typo mocked round the world, but it seems Mitt Romney's misspelled America is benefiting at least one person in the best way possible.

Vindictive troll Roger Ailes, who—when he's not busy using corporate security to tail his employees, calling local cops to fish his keys out of his locked car, or overseeing the production of political attack ads disguised as news programming—owns a pair of small-town newspapers in rural Putnam County, N.Y., is an absolute master at real-time reflexive paranoid hysteria. For instance, if you write things about those small-town papers that he doesn't like, he will go through the subscriber rolls, find your name, and cancel your subscription. Attention to detail!

Last time we heard from lite '90s crooner Brian McKnight, he dropped an X-rated slow jam for his conceived (still forthcoming, I hope) adult mixtape that proclaimed, "Let me show you how your pussy works / Betcha didn't know that it could squirt." Now, as so many men do, he's moved onto the butthole. In a song he wrote for user-generated smut site YouPorn, he seduces the masses with: "You wanna see some fucking anal? I can get you close enough to smell."