50-year-old John E. Brennan, who grabbed headlines back in April when he stripped naked in front of TSA screeners at Portland International Airport, was acquitted of public indecency after a Multnomah County judge ruled his act a protected form of protest.

Improv legend Fred Willard couldn't come up with an impromptu reason for his penis being out when LAPD vice squad officers busted him last night inside Hollywood's infamous Tiki Theater.

Earlier tonight, George Zimmerman gave his first televised interview to Sean Hannity on Fox News. Zimmerman offered an apology of sorts to Martin's parents, but refused to express regret for what happened. He also gave his account of Martin's killing.

According to Deadline reporter and Bret Easton Ellis's number one fan, Nikki Finke, The Dark Knight Rises, which doesn't come out until Friday, has already sold $25 million in presale tickets alone, accounting for 80-85% of all online ticket purchases on Tuesday. At its current pace, the film has a slight chance to break The Avengers' opening weekend record of $207.4 million.

Seattle residents Brandon Loo and Christopher Sweeney were on their way back from a trip to Vancouver when U.S. Border agents searched their car and, after finding illegal contraband, detained the two for several hours. The contraband? Kinder Eggs, which are chocolate eggs with toys in the center. The candies are banned in the U.S. because they, like every other candy in the world, contain "a non-nutritive object."

We already know the U.S is in a drought. But who gives a shit, right? Well, based on our insatiable desire for meat/cheese-based everything, a whole lot of us will start caring soon: dairy and meat prices are about to go way up.

Just two days after his daughter Suri and ex-wife Katie Holmes were involved in a minor accident, Tom Cruise, with Suri in tow, ran red lights and sped through Manhattan in an attempt to outrun paparazzi. The chase, which lasted 20 minutes, included ten cars full of paparazzi, plus six stragglers on bikes, all of whom also ran the red lights.

Michele Bachmann recently issued some typically stupid statements accusing Huma Abedin, Chief of Staff to Hillary Clinton and wife to Anthony Weiner, of having ties to the (gasp) Muslim Brotherhood. McCain, who is apparently in one of those moods where he acts honorably instead of cravenly, defended Abedin, whom he described as a "friend" and a "fine and decent American."

In an anti-climatic finish to the Court Case of the Century, hedge fund manager Daniel Shak withdrew his lawsuit seeking his share of his ex-wife's million dollar shoe collection. Beth Shak, the ex-wife, and, according to the New York Post, a "pretty pro poker player," denied any wrong doing, saying Mr. Shak knew about the collection and even encouraged it. As Ms. Shak told the Post:

Anticipation for the return of Batman will pack theaters until they are unbearable during this and the next several weekends — and The Dark Knight Rises knows it.

It may be raining and hailing and lightning like a bitch in the Northeast right now, but save a prayer or two for our Last Frontier brethren in Anchorage, where it's currently a blazing 71 degrees.

Beyoncé was spotted shopping Wednesday with Earth's favorite and most important baby, Blue Ivy Carter.

On Wednesday, Forbes released its annual list of the 20 top-earning TV actresses. Modern Family's Sofia Vergara came in first. Who knew, right? Good for her.

The Newsroom, Aaron Sorkin's new television show for HBO, has a lot of obvious problems, dissected at length here and elsewhere. But the show at least nailed its reverence for broadcast journalism of yore, if you believe official Gawker Newsroom episode recapper Dan Rather. Murrow, Cronkite, Huntley, Brinkley, and, yes, Rather: they were newsmen, the show argues from the opening credits. Today's anchors are pundits and airheads.

Instagram isn't just for pictures of sunsets and rich kids partying. The popular smartphone photo app has unleashed an army of amateur street photographers on the world. Daniel Arnold was one of the best, producing a stream of brilliantly voeyuristic snapshots of New York City streets—that is, he was until he got banned for posting boobs.

A German graffiti artist was stealthily tagging a Hamburg Transport Association train car when he was rudely interrupted by two transit workers who demanded to know what he was doing.

Dhani Jones took this picture from a plane as he was flying out of LaGuardia. And then it hailed. Hailed! Buzzfeed got hit by lightning. I guess probably some other weather happened in other parts of the country, at some point, too.

Nelson Mandela, South Africa's first post-Apartheid president and the man lovingly referred to by his compatriots as Tata Madiba, turns 94 years young today.

Bret Easton Ellis, who drew rage-blogger Nikki Finke's wrath after I alerted her to a Twitter post he wrote outing her as a resident of his West Hollywood apartment building—which post in turn led me to find a unit in his building that had been recently purchased by Finke's employer, Penske Media—is continuing his hilarious pushback against the Hollywood fearmonger. Today, he told the Hollywood Reporter that her behavior is "harassing and unacceptable" and lambasted the "Hollywood morons who think they have to live in Nikki Finke's French Royal Court and be completely secretive." He also accused her, again on Twitter, of sending "hectoring, threatening, vaguely litigious e-mails" to her building's management.

Last weekend, a family in Washington state captured this crab whose markings 100% resemble a sharpie drawing of former head of al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden.