Did you notice that when Gabby Douglas made Olympics history the other night, the crowd cheered — but not "U.S.A."?

We've spent so much time focused on James Holmes and the Aurora shooting that we haven't heard much about Jared Lee Loughner, the last psychopath who opened fire on a crowd.

Lollapalooza attendees are being forced to evacuate due to severe weather warnings in Chicago. Not cool.

This isn't the first time we've heard rumblings about swine flu, but the CDC wants us on the alert about a new strain that spreads from pigs to people.

Prince William would be super embarrassed to get stuck kissing his freakishly stunning wife on the Olympics' kiss cam.

It's been a while since we talked about John Travolta and his (allegedly gay) penis, but wouldn't you know it — the actor's legal team is condemning another masseur's claim as false.

Houston restaurant Beaver's endorses marriage equality, and not just because chef-owner Monica Pope is a lesbian. The political sandwich precedent has been set.

The former governor of California will return to the big screen in a movie that sounds even worse than you'd imagine.

Oscar "Blade Runner" Pistorius made Olympics history today as the first double amputee runner to compete. He also advanced to the semifinals, so take that, two-legged runners.

As a companion to our glossary of Mariah Carey's 10-cent words, here's a supercut of her talking about her songwriting throughout her 22-year career. Just as she keeps coming back to a heartbreaker, this is something she does incessantly.

We can stop badgering Mitt Romney to release more of his tax returns. It turns out he paid taxes — a lot of them — every year. So that's settled. Let's move on.

It's President Obama's 51st birthday. Be on the lookout for the Fox Nation headline about how golf doesn't create jobs.

Serena Williams dominated Maria Sharapova and won her first singles gold medal at the London Olympics, completing a career Golden Slam — the second ever since Steffi Graf in 1988. Williams celebrated by doing a dance move identified by the internet as the Crip Walk. It has already been immortalized in GIF form.

St. Kitts and Nevis sprinter Kim Collins has been booted from the 100-meter race.

Last weekend we published Kiese Laymon's personal history of violence in America. In July, we also ran Cord Jefferson's essay about moving from New York to Los Angeles and Ali Waller's essay about her brief brush with lesbianism.

Clint Eastwood is endorsing Mitt Romney. But he also endorsed Gran Torino and Hereafter, so consider the source.

Here is the finest hate mail of the past week, rounded up for your enjoyment. In honor of the Olympics, the letters this week are presented in order of creativity. Congratulations to spalin2008@yahoo.com, Gold Medal winner and all-around kind person.

Psychologists say bronze medal winners are happier than silver medalists. Both groups still composed of LOSERS.

Men the world over are infamous for having balls—although testes, being considerably smaller than breasts and also much less adept at producing breast milk, are often overshadowed by bazoongas in lists of favorite sexual organs.

Mike Senna, a part-time robot builder from Orange County, California, dedicated over 3,000 man hours across two year to constructing a fully functioning RC replica of the robot WALL-E from Pixar's animated movie of the same name.