You don’t have to read too close between the lines to see a heathen peeking out.

There are certain things Joe Scarborough—a man no one is interested in voting for for anything besides leaving the island—won’t tolerate. Allowing Megyn Kelly to take over his beloved Fox News network is one of them, and trust the man: He will literally—LITERALLY—self-immolate before allowing her to set the agenda.

The New York Times will not print several swear words, but it will, apparently, publish a video featuring so many pairs of naked breasts. Yesterday the paper unveiled a four-minute film titled “Free the Nipple?”, in which many New York women do just that.

Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld did the straight white old man equivalent of throwing shade at a number of the presidential candidates on today’s episode of The View—he sprinkled Old Spice on them.

Thanks to cheap gas prices, a strong economy, and widespread availability of automobiles, it looks like American drivers drove more miles last year than ever before. A little bit of history in the making. Do you find this fact interesting? Do you enjoy driving? What is the best car, in your opinion?

You, the consumer, are not a scientist. Nor are you a trained chef, a biologist, a doctor, or even a rational person. Nevertheless, you are purchasing only “natural” food.

Last year was a record one for donations to colleges and universities: more than $40 billion was given, much of it to a tiny group of wealthy, elite schools. Stop that.

As Europe grapples with the continuing influx of refugees, authorities in countries like Denmark and Switzerland have a solution: Take whatever you want from them and call it a trade.

Last night, after three weeks, the armed militiamen got what they wanted: a violent confrontation with the federal government. Now a half dozen of the loose leadership are behind bars, roads out of the compound blockaded by law enforcement, and a dedicated group inside refusing to surrender.

The quiet militia spokesman Robert “LaVoy” Finicum—popularly known as the “Tarp Man,” after he gave interviews while sitting under a tarp (with a gun in his lap)—was killed in a shootout Tuesday with the FBI and Oregon state police, the Oregonian reports.

On Tuesday, after the FBI and Oregon state police arrested six of his comrades following deadly shootout, notorious Islamophobe Jon Ritzheimer (a.k.a. the angry dildo man) turned himself in to the Peoria, Arizona, police department.

In a statement, the FBI on Tuesday confirmed earlier reports that Ammon Bundy and several other armed militants were arrested north of Burns, Oregon, after a traffic stop north of Burns, Oregon, turned violent. One of the militants was killed. Six people were arrested.

At Davos this weekend, in a “special conversation” between Fareed Zakaria and Benjamin Netanyahu, the Israeli prime minister articulated his strategy for defeating extremist ideologies: “I think the key is despair, is to rob them of hope—the hope that their wild fantasies will actually win out the day.”

On Monday, the Guardian reports, Oregon state police arrested a man who said he was on his way to the Malheur national wildlife refuge for driving under the influence of alcohol. Joseph Stetson, 54, was armed with a pellet gun and said he wanted to “help with killing federal agents.”

Speaking at a press conference before a rally in Marshalltown, Iowa, Donald Trump continued to turn the screws on Roger Ailes, threatening that he “probably” won’t participate in the Fox News-hosted debate on Thursday. Trump’s campaign manager, meanwhile, told the Washington Post’s Philip Rucker that the candidate was “definitely not” participating in the debate. “His word is his bond.”

“The 20 most profitable hedge funds for investors earned $15 billion last year while the rest of the industry collectively lost $99 billion.”

Former viral sensation and aspiring heavy metal star Balloon Boy (otherwise known as Falcon Heene) has officially announced his endorsement of Donald J. Trump in an email to Gawker.

I guess if you’re Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s nephew who is also a rapper, never has the world called on your presence more than after your uncle was dissed by a rapper who believes that the Earth is flat. So without further ado, here is TYSON’s “Flat to Fact,” the response track to B.o.B’s DeGrasse Tyson diss which itself doubles as a remix of Drake’s diss of Meek Mill.

“Millennials are misunderstood,” says a new report on the financial proclivities of millennials. But are they?