An anonymous group of hackers — not to be confused with the hacking group Anonymous — claims it's sitting on a treasure trove of Mitt Romney's unreleased tax returns freshly lifted from the PricewaterhouseCoopers offices in Franklin, Tennessee, and say they will make them available to the public at the end of this month unless they receive a million dollars in unmarked Bitcoins.

Jonah Lehrer, the Columbia-graduate Rhodes-scholar journalist-speaker-author who lost his jobs at Wired and The New Yorker for committing a pretty hilariously wide range of journalistic sins — "self-plagiarism"! other people plagiarism! just making shit up! — may never work at a magazine again. But he will always have his first love: poetry.

Forbes has named the brolic and dormant Dr. Dre this year's Hip-Hop Cash King, the result of him taking in $110 million almost entirely from the immense success of his Beats By Dre headphones. Dre, Forbes explains, "collected $100 million pretax when handset maker HTC paid $300 million for a 51% stake in the company last year."

The Occupy movement is camped in Marshall Park, which should be a walk of about three or four blocks from our perch in the bowels of the media area in the Charlotte Convention Center. In reality, you are forced by a series of fences, police barriers, and law enforcement checkpoints to walk eight blocks out of the way in a grand semicircle in order to reach the park. Once there, you find an encampment of several dozen tents, interspersed with small groups of people talking, making food, washing clothes, and talking to reporters. This, sad to say, is the heart of the protest movement at the DNC.

Amanda Bynes can't seem to stop being suspected of hit-and-run accidents.

Taylor Swift, a sweet country girl who first got the idea to become a Kennedy after watching a Lana Del Rey music video, has found out the hard way that you do not insert yourself into the Kennedy family.

This video purports to show footage of a young Russian schoolgirl giving her belligerent English teacher the ol' Bobby Hill.

You know how sometimes you overhear a group of 14-year-old girls talking at an Applebee's and one of them—the pretty, grown-up one, or maybe The Australian—says, "Aidan wanted me to give him a blow job last night," and another one, the one in the sweatshirt with a teddy bear rollerblading on it, asks "Why, was his hair wet?" and all the cool girls laugh and laugh, so she laughs too but you can tell she Just Didn't Get It, so you lean over and say "Hey, loser, me and all your cool friends can tell you Just Didn't Get It"?

I guess we'll start with the hotel. Ours is a shithole. A $250-a-night mildewy rathole for truckers and prostitutes on a decimated strip mall. Charlotte is the armpit of the south, a glorified half-dead exurb with some tall buildings planted in the middle. There are skeezy-looking tattoo shops everywhere, and none of the stores are open past midnight.

A German farmer's recent attempt to grow some sunflowers on his property has gone to pot — literally.

Michelle Obama stutters. She does not have a stutter. She stutters on purpose. "I-I-I, I've seen it in our men and women in uniform." "Fr-from the young person with so much promise." "And-and, even as a kid..."

TLC's Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a show about class, and one thing people talk about regarding the Thompson clan (when they aren't cursing them for existing) is whether fame and fortune will spoil their appeal of being trashy beyond belief. If a piece in The Hollywood Reporter is to be believed, there's little risk of that happening...so far. Says the trade:

A 7.9 magnitude earthquake has shaken the coast of Costa Rica. A Caribbean-wide tsunami watch is currently in effect.

"Think Nachos — Only 'Cooler,'" Baskin-Robbins told its customers yesterday when it unveiled the Waffle Chip Dippers — a "nacho-like" frozen treat consisting of soft-serve vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate syrup, M&M's, and Snickers piece, and six hand-cut waffle and brownie "chips" for dipping.

Who do you think Lena Dunham should date? Did you say PSY? We think so, too. Date PSY, Lena! Alas, she is actually dating this guy Jack Antonoff from that band Fun.. "Hipster hookup!" writes Us Weekly, because what are two young white people if not hipsters?

When I think of things that should be in a political convention swag bag, I think colorful t-shirts, buttons, and unnecessary bridge-building projects for my district. The Republicans disappointed. The Democrats are even worse.

Barack Obama's DNC speech tomorrow will be given indoors, not in a football stadium, due to "severe weather forecasts."

If there is one thing Jimmy Kimmel loves, it's pranking little kids.

TLC's Abby & Brittany continues to gently tease out the privates lives of the conjoined Hensel twins by showing how they have adapted to performing the most common of tasks. On one of last night's episodes, they ate Chicago deep-dish pizza (stomachaches resulted), rode a Segway (balancing issues ensued) and drove a car.

When YouTube institution Bad Lip Reading ran out of political figures to poke fun at, it moved on to music videos, and, for there, naturally, to movies.