A loyal dog died last week after he was hit by a train in Kazakhstan while dragging his suicidal owner off the tracks to safety.

The American iteration of the televised talent competition The X Factor returns this week for a second season with pop princesses Britney Spears and Demi Lovato stepping in to fill the seats left empty by departing judges Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul.

Or is that in mammary of her late Gran Gran? (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

According to People Magazine, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were married Sunday evening near Charleston, South Carolina. This is the second marriage for Reynolds – he was previously married for two years to Scarlett Johansson – and the first for Lively. Reynolds was also engaged to Alanis Morissette for over two years in the mid-2000s.

After failing to reach an agreement tonight, over 25,000 Chicago school teachers will go on strike Monday morning.

Late Friday evening, the NYPD removed over a dozen exotic and mostly monster-ish animals from an apartment in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. All told, police seized 13 animals, including two alligators, two bearded dragons, five pythons, a boa constrictor, a gecko, a scorpion, and a tarantula. Not entirely sure why they took the gecko, but I'm sure they had their reasons. Neighbors noted the apartment's tenants also had some other scary animals.

As if the hantavirus outbreak in Yosemite wasn't enough to keep you inside and away from national parks forever, now comes news that wild bison in Yellowstone are charging innocent children. As the Daily Mail, England's paper of record, notes, the child was encouraged by his parents to approach the bison, who was near a wooden walkway in the park. The bison did what taunted bison are wont to do, and charged the small child. He escaped, and his parents, or whatever responsible adults were with him, laughed and laughed.

A Florida police officer who was part of Obama's motorcade was struck and killed by a pickup truck earlier today.

I have to assume someone at the Hollywood Reporter at least questioned the headline "Moviegoing Plummets to Post 9/11 Levels."

Filling the void Amy Poehler and Will Arnett left in our hearts, Cobie Smulders and Taran Killam got married.

Doug Mills of the New York Times tweeted this photo of Barack Obama getting lifted in the air by Big Apple Pizza owner (and bear hug enthusiast) Scott Van Duzer.

The woman who took this video is accusing the TSA of keeping her off a flight just because an agent didn't like her attitude — and not because anyone thought she was a security risk.

Nature: stirring, majestic, full of shit that can kill you.

Here's that list of celebrity bra sizes you've been waiting for.

Getting old is terrifying. That's probably why many men — concerned about gaining weight, losing their sex drives, and generally being schlubbier than they once were — are now turning to testosterone treatments.

For all the shit she's endured following a youthful indiscretion, Kristen Stewart is now handling her cheating scandal like a pro.

If you're a fan of Paul Thomas Anderson films — Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood — chances are you're excited about The Master, which has already been hyped to death by festival audiences.

LeAnn Rimes is moving on with her life after seeking treatment for hater-related anxiety issues. That doesn't mean she's dropping her lawsuit against a couple haters in particular — although she will be donating whatever she wins to a good cause.

Don't you hate it when your wife asks you to get rid of some of your antique radios?

A drunk woman has been arrested after making a total ass of herself on a flight.