A Montreal-based website is offering college students the chance to have their essay penned by a real-life unemployed college professor in exchange for cash.

Those expecting sunshine and catatonia from Britney Spears' new gig as X Factor judge must have been surprised to see how dismissive and blunt she proved to be on last night's Season 2 premiere of the Fox singing competition.

In a recent interview with IGN, Titanic director James Cameron was asked to respond to the longstanding myth that Jack and Rose could have both survived if they had just shared the raft.

The NYC Board of Health has approved a ban on large sodas, angering dozens of soft-drink lobbyists and neckbeards.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo had a son, Camden, on Wednesday. May he grow up to marry Maxwell Simpson-Johnson on TV.

My friend Chaia and I are sitting on a low brick wall on the patio of a club in the West Village. An inebriated young man, late twenties, early thirties, introduced himself to me a few seconds ago as a representative from "the office of Chris Christie." I have just asked the inebriated young man why a representative from the office of New Jersey's Republican governor is attending a Fashion Week party being thrown by OK! Magazine in the West Village on a Monday night.

The important thing to remember about out-of-office replies is that no one is ever happy to receive them. An out-of-office reply is your way of saying, to anyone who emails with a request, "You're out of luck, motherfucker – I'M GONE." Use them to list the dates you'll be gone and the name of an alternate contact person. Do not use them to trick people into reading all about your exciting life.

Why has The New York Times launched a new blog aimed at Baby Boomers, when the paper itself is already a testament to the sick, sad reign of the Jerks that Ruined Everything? "Our generation, the biggest in the country's history, has always given ourselves and everyone else lots to talk about," writes Michael Winerip in the opening post. "Booming [This is the name of the blog, LOL — Ed.] offers a wide-open space for these conversations."

Speaking at a Mitt Romney rally in Owensville, Ohio, yesterday, the state's Republican governor John Kasich took the time to acknowledge the wives of politicians and all the loads of laundry they're currently at home doing.

One movie theater in London believes it has found the ultimate solution to inconsiderate filmgoers: Sic ninjas on them.

I think I may be the first person on Earth to be blocked by my own cat on Twitter. That sounds ridiculous, I know. It's an outcome fit for a crazy cat lady, which I know that I qualify as regardless of my penis.

Hundreds of protesters managed to breach the outer security perimeter around the US embassy in Sana, Yemen for a brief period of time today before being repelled by guards.

We've had our share of amusement over the last few months making fun of former child star Amanda Bynes' predilection for endangering the lives of her fellow drivers, but it seems she's now crossed a threshold.

Relative SNL-newcomer Jay Pharoah will replace Fred Armisen as Saturday Night Live's resident Obama impersonator, according to an interview Lorne Michaels gave to the New York Times today.

Mike from Breaking Bad will join the cast of Parks and Recreation for at least one episode this season.

Mini-bottles of booze, or airplane bottles, or, for the purpose of this post, nips are highly underrated. For one, they're inexpensive; Jim Beam should run you no more than $1.50 or so. Two, they're easy to smuggle into bars, making refilling glasses/corner chugging extra convenient. Three, they're easy to drink on the street because (or so I tell myself) everyone will just assume you're downing one of those 5-hour energy drinks. It seems as though 18 workers at JFK Airport are on my level, as they stand accused of stealing more than 100,000 of the nips from incoming American Airlines flights at JFK airport. As Gothamist reports:

NBC sort of apologized for airing a conversation about breast implants instead of a moment of silence for 9/11 victims.

For some of us, Fashion Week is one of the more confusing/ignorable times of the year. For others, it is THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME OF YEAR, by a long shot. For obvious reasons, Jennifer Eymere, an editor of the French fashion magazine Jalouse, falls into the latter category. In fact, it's so important to Eymere that she's willing to commit battery just to prove a point.

Bad news, everyone: the CDC announced today it was recalling 800 wheels, or roughly 4,800 pounds, of ricotta salata cheese. The ricotta salata in question is tainted with listeria, which is a salmonella-like pathogen that will make you incredibly sick if you're old, pregnant, sick or a (figurative/literal) baby. I was going to say something like, "But who cares because Ricotta is obviously the lamest non-cottage cheese," but it turns out ricotta salata is not the boring mushy stuff in lasagna. It's instead a "salty, white cheese made from pasteurized sheep's milk," which sounds gross enough without the listeria. So far 14 people have gotten sick, with at least one confirmed death.

Prefix magazine, a New York-based music and film publication, is hiring news writers for its website. But they can't just be any lame bloggers off the street, of course. Aware that this is a buyer's market when it comes to hiring writing talent, Prefix demands top candidates, noting in a Craigslist job posting that all writing applicants must have "an encyclopedic knowledge of music or film."