TV's Fall Haul: 666 Park Avenue

Rich Juzwiak · 10/01/12 01:35PM

For the next few weeks, we'll be evaluating many of the new fall shows as they air. These shows do not include Elementary, The Neighbors or the hilariously overrated navy soap Last Resort (in which brass stands in for organ, but the melodrama is at perfect daytime pitch) because their blandness reminded us just how tedious it is to spend time thinking about a bunch of new series that are just going to be off the air soon anyway. This one's kind of fun, though.

Caity Weaver · 10/01/12 01:18PM

Drew Barrymore had a baby girl and called her "Olive." Just about the Drew Barrymost thing she could have named her.

Everybacon Calm Down: We're Not Going to Run Out of Bacon

Caity Weaver · 10/01/12 01:10PM

After British reports of upcoming bacon shortages last month led people whose whole identity is defined by the fact that they enjoy bacon and even sometimes consume it in unexpected ways -like chopped into tiny pieces and inserted into a chocolate bar- to begin selling off choice plots in the family cemetery lot in exchange for packages of frozen hog hash, American agricultural economists have stepped forward to soothe us all.

In Grim Irony, the Washington Post Company Diversifies Into Hospice Care

Cord Jefferson · 10/01/12 12:45PM

It's no secret that the Washington Post Company, home to one of America's most important and revered newspapers, is floundering. The company's once booming education business, Kaplan, has cooled significantly in recent quarters, and ad revenues in both print and online are also down. Fighting to keep its head above water, the Post Co. has now done what many dying people do: turned to hospice care.

The Return of Homeland and Carrie Mathison's Perfect Flaws

Rich Juzwiak · 10/01/12 12:30PM

Our introduction to Homeland's C.I.A. officer protagonist Carrie Mathison was raw, almost punk: less than five minutes into the show's series premiere, we saw her wipe her crotch while scrambling to prepare for a meeting. With that moment, Homeland presented a portrait of Carrie's womanhood and sexuality that was nearly as unapologetic as the character itself.

Robert Kessler · 10/01/12 11:53AM

Seth MacFarlane will host the 2013 Academy Awards. Expect to see flashbacks of other Oscars ceremonies.

Teenage Girl Disappears After Tweeting 'There Is Someone In My House,' Social Media Shitstorm Ensues

Adrian Chen · 10/01/12 11:26AM

Like its boring old relative, cable news, there is nothing that gets social media more excited than an imperiled white teenage girl. On Sunday night at around 6:15 p.m., New Jersey 16-year-old Kara Alongi tweeted "There is someone in my hour ecall 911." (sic.) The apparently panic-garbled tweet went viral over night, as millions of Twitter users urged followers to help find the kidnapped girl by tweeting hashtags and liking Facebook pages. There couldn't have been a bigger internet freakout if Joseph Kony himself had spirited Kara away.

Caity Weaver · 10/01/12 11:13AM

Macy's plans to hire 80,000 seasonal workers this holiday season. 79,980 department store elves, 20 cashiers.

Eric Hobsbawm, Eminent Historian, Dead at 95

Max Read · 10/01/12 10:59AM

British intellectual Eric Hobsbawm, the pre-eminent historian of his generation, died Monday morning in a hospital in London, where he was being treated for pneumonia. He was 95.