If you haven't already started preparing for the historically terrible storm that is preparing to pummel the Northeast just in time for Halloween, you are way, way, way behind and it's precisely this lack of foresight and planning that will ultimately cost you your life when the storm touches down next week.
It's been evident for more than a year now that "for profit colleges"—which is to say, "shitty colleges which exist only to make money and which run a lot of advertisements and which you would never ever recommend to a true friend"—are on the decline, after years of virtually minting money. Enrollment is down across the board. Last week, the University of Phoenix announced it's shutting down half of its physical locations. Could this be... real progress?
There's some sort of lawsuit going on between Britney Spears and her ex-manager, Sam Lufti. Who can even know what it's about, but Lufti sure is throwing some crazy shit out there. First, he testified that Britney was probably smoking crystal meth. Then he claimed she shaved her head to avoid a drug test. Now he's saying Britney's father, Jamie Spears, once chased him around a kitchen, yelling and spitting, and later punched him in the stomach.
A month-long auction for 20-year-old Catarina Migliorini's virginity ended this morning when a Japanese man called Natsu bid $780,000 for the "date," as the NY Daily News calls it. The auction/generally repulsive publicity stunt is part of an Australian documentary called Virgins Wanted, which will fly Catarina to the encounter and will interview her before and after the deed.
In 2007, a Missouri teenager named Jimmy Winkelmann Jr. came up with an idea to spoof lax-bro brand the North Face: an online apparel shop named the South Butt. Other smart alecks had conceived of this name before, but once the North Face sent cease-and-desists, the little jokers quickly cowered before the corporate Goliath's demands. Winkelmann was not like that. With the support of his dad, Jimmy Sr., the future biomedical engineering student forged ahead with a logo that inverted the North Face's half-dome insignia into a bum and a small inventory of hoodies, fleece jackets, and knit caps.
Those morning-drunk wackadoodles over at the Today Show were just trying to have a fun conversation this morning about funny pictures they'd seen on the Internet, when a big flesh-colored dildo had to butt in and ruin the vibe.
On one hand, getting the "filthy, stinking sex demon" out looks a lot like getting the penis in, at least facially. Not so convincing. On the other hand, Rev. Bob Larson was wise to keep the crucifix far away from potentially masturbating hands and genitals. You know how gays are.
A festive reminder for the old folks in this unidentified retirement home that they could very well be celebrating their last Halloween among the living.
Frequent Jean Grae and Pharoahe Monch collaborator Mela Machinko has devised the most reverent Jay-Z tribute since Destiny's Child's "Cater 2 U." Her Hov Said It Best project "uses Jay-Z lyrics, concepts and even ad libs and cadences to craft entirely new songs that tell my stories. On the project, Hov Said It Best is a television show, sort of a This Is Your Life game show, but based on Jay Z, and I am the day's contestant on the show."
